Reading is done together in bed, but where the child ultimately sleeps is not so important, says one expert in child development. — dpa
IT'S something many parents are all too familiar with: Your young child is no longer a baby, and now has a bed and room of their own. Still, they'll patter into your bedroom at night and want to snuggle up with you.
You may carry the child back to their room at first, but at some point the parental bed becomes the family bed. Older generations are often disapproving of this, saying it spoils the child and stunts their independence. Is this true?
"No," says Barbara Weber-Eisenmann, a social educator, blogger, author – and mother based in Germany. She says that whether or not a child co-sleeps with their parents has nothing to do with their independence or lack thereof, but simply with their need for nighttime closeness and security.
"Sleeping alone will eventually come, but it's unrelated to independence as a personal trait," Weber-Eisenmann told family web platform leben-und-erziehen.de. Children who prefer to share their parents' bed can be just as independent – or not so – as those who sleep by themselves, she says.
Children's readiness for solo sleep varies, she points out, and naturally depends in part on their personality.
"Parents can foster and support children's independence in many areas though, says Weber-Eisenmann, namely by trusting them to do as much by themselves as possible."
One way to do it is playfully, she suggests. Suppose, for example, your child doesn't want to get dressed on their own in the morning because they're still sleepy or would miss the physical contact from Mama or Papa.
"Then a 'clothing track' can sometimes help: You have the various articles of clothing already laid out on the floor in the right order for the child, and all they have to do is to slip into them."
If it's fun for the child and the parents are nearby, she says. Independent dressing will then get easier and easier. – dpa
