The amount of drama in this town can give you stress attacks. Pak Samad’s quiet humour and lack of pretensions should be a reminder for us to embrace decent manners and sincerity.

ONE of the highlights in my life, and I have yet to come down from the high, is meeting our National Laureate, A. Samad Said, or fondly known as Pak Samad, at the George Town Writer’s Festival.

His books were part of my Sastera Melayu syllabus in school, and I remembered following him in my school uniform (from afar of course!), around Kotaraya, Lebuh Ampang.

I took the same bus as he, and instead of studying or attending tuition, I stalked him instead. I was 18 years old, and seeing a real writer was like seeing a god then.

When I started working, I saw him again, and didn’t stalk him as much. But he was always around the Central Market area (that was my first job, doing PR for Central Market in the early 90s), and when I could, I’d spy on him.

So when I met him in Penang, I had to suppress the hysterical giggles begging to bubble out of me.

Other people would behave the same when they meet a rock star; I go to pieces when I meet a writer I like. (I met Oscar Hijuelos once at a book festival and gibbered like a monkey. Poor man.)

What struck me the most was Pak Samad’s quiet humour and lack of pretensions. Believe you me, I’ve been working for almost 20 years and I have witnessed enough meltdowns, stroppy fits and bad behaviour among many Malaysian personalities (and no, they are not necessarily writers) – enough to make me consider seriously a career change!

The amount of drama in this town can give you stress attacks. What amazes me is that some of the drama come from beings who don’t even have the content or talent.

He was very kind to the panelists and moderators, and at an age when most men would be flapping about waiting for death to knock on their doors, Pak Samad is curious and views everything with bemusement. He’s seen it all, and goes about it quietly.

“So what are your plans for your new book?” he asked me on the bus, as we headed back to the hotel.

“I’m tired of searching for grants to fund my research so my 2013 KPI is to find myself a husband who will fund my nonsense,” I said.

He nodded.

“Perhaps you should write a cookbook or romance novels. Or a buku doa,” he deadpanned. “It’s a lot easier than finding a husband! And you make a lot more money!”

We laughed.

When I think back, I shake my head: bad behaviour seems to be rewarded all the time. Whatever happened to humility and kindness? Why is a person valued by his “coolness” and “hipster” factor?

I have always theorised in my private moments that the Internet and reality television shows have actually made rudeness permissible.

It’s easier to become a star these days, and you don’t really have to show for much. Just turn up and misbehave – that will get people talking. Being kind and well-mannered was for old school aristocrats and orang bangsawan, a friend said to me.

“It’s an egalitarian world now. Good manners is a throwback to the days when Sultans and old families ruled.”

Is it so wrong to be well-mannered these days? And humble?

My friend shook his head. Being all of the above in a dog-eat-dog world gets you nowhere. You have to be noticed, and if it means some misbehaviour, fine.

Everyone has almost the same qualifications these days, so one has to stand out.

I disagree. I think many of us are drained by such behaviour. I feel that it is time to embrace decent manners and sincerity.

The lives and work we lead and do are already so pressured; we needn’t be ogres too.

In the meantime, we have Pak Samad. Let us be inspired by his grace. Perhaps that should be our resolution for 2013 – to be humble and graceful.

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