News

Sunday December 16, 2012

Be sure to stay in touch for all the right reasons

Sunday Starters
By Soo Ewe Jin


All of us have made and lost friends along the way. While there are the occasional rotten apples, the ‘real’ buddies are worth fighting for when life, over the course of time, causes one ‘to lose contact’.

IN the movie Big Miracle, there is a scene which shows President Ronald Reagan making a call to President Mikhail Gorbachev. Reagan is asking for Russian help to free three grey whales trapped in the small town of Point Barrow in Alaska.

Reagan is in the Oval Office, his back to the camera, and he picks up the phone and says: “Hello Gorby, Ronnie here...”

I am not sure if the filmmakers used their artistic licence to imagine how the conversation might go, but as I watched the movie on my bus ride to Penang last Sunday, it did make me wonder how personal people holding positions of authority can get in their conversations with one another.

Our Prime Minister may want to be called Ah Jib Gor but I doubt if I would ever call him anything other than Mr Prime Minister, Sir.

Even the personable Pak Lah sounds a bit impolite to address a former PM and I would certainly be more comfortable with Tun.

I reckon that important people do interact on a first-name basis with other people, but this happens mainly because of prior relationships.

Among my friends who have received titles, they prefer to be called by their names, or even their nicknames, but certainly not by their titles.

If there is one area of official interaction which is hard to change, it must surely be that between the teacher and the student.

I am privileged that many of the teachers who taught me in both primary and secondary schools now interact with me as equals. Some have become close friends.

But even when we develop real friendships, I find it hard to address them in any way other than how I addressed them back in school.

While in Penang, I managed to catch up with two dear friends who were my teachers back in the 1970s.

The one who taught me Geography and General Paper also used to be the discipline teacher, so the authoritative image I see in him remains.

He is really a warm and kind gentleman who wants me to call him by his first name. I try to, but despite his many reminders, it is always back to Mr P or Sir.

I felt honoured to be driven around by this former teacher to meet up with the other friend, who taught me English and GP, apart from being my class teacher in Form 3.

Considering the thousands of students who have passed through their lives, they are touched to be remembered by their students, especially the ordinary ones who do not make the news.

One teacher told me how inspired she was when a once troublesome student invited her to dinner and shared the remarkable transformation in his life, and the role she played in making it happen.

Some teachers may want to boast about their famous students – like presidents and CEOs – but the really good teachers are those who appreciate the ordinary students with extraordinary stories to tell, many years after their paths crossed.

I am ever so thankful that the people who have been part of my life in my formative years, like the two teachers, remain friends after all these years.

And it is a bond forged not because I have become somebody famous, with an impressive string of titles and achievements.

In their eyes, I will simply be a grateful student who has lived a life that makes them feel that part of their mission to educate has been accomplished.

> Deputy executive editor Soo Ewe Jin believes the secret to great friendships is staying in touch with the right people for the right reasons, and not simply because our time should be better spent with the right people for all the wrong reasons.

  • E-mail this story
  • Print this story
  • Bookmark and Share