We may occasionally make the wrong turns, but if we take those detours as useful lessons, our life will truly be enriched.

WE are now in election mode where we, as registered voters, will have to make a choice.

It’s a once-in-five-years’ decision that can have a tremendous impact on the life of our nation, and I strongly believe that every vote counts.

In life, we make choices all the time. In fact, some decisions have to be made through a family vote, almost daily.

Each time we go out for dinner as a family, for example, the inevitable question that arises is: “Where shall we eat?”

As the head of the family, I normally keep quiet in the first round of voting. Because we have such different preferences, it is never easy to come to a consensus.

I am technically allowed to cast the deciding vote, which is something I dread since I end up pleasing one side and not the other.

But I am glad that my family members rarely put me into such a conundrum. We tend to put the other person’s interest first.

My sons, who may prefer Western, will opt to go to a hawker centre just to make their dad happy.

But what about the real choices in life?

Occasionally, I get a chance to talk to young couples who are about to get married.

And this supposedly “wise uncle” will start by reminding them that it is okay to disagree on most things, like whether the curtains for their new house should be pink or blue, or how big the widescreen TV should be.

But I would remind them that they must be in one accord when it comes to the major things.

For example, what is their stand about a common faith, starting a family, career dreams and financial matters?

Sometimes, in the heady days of courtship, the man may forget to tell the woman that he would like to go forth and procreate, six children at least, while the woman may not tell him that she thinks children will only get in the way of her career.

When I opted out of my career to care for my two young boys, it was because we already had a prior understanding that we did not want to subscribe to the two-parent, two-income, one-maid lifestyle, once the children came along.

And we also agreed that having a parent stay at home did not mean that it must always be the woman.

In those wonderful years of being a full-time househusband, my wife and I had to endure a lot of strange queries from people who wondered why I was not the breadwinner.

In our working life, some of us may dream of eventually heading a company as COO or CEO, and we must be prepared to pay the price for getting up there.

But our partner must agree with our dreams, otherwise the marriage is bound to be affected.

As we come to the crossroads, we have to make a choice as the road to material success is different from the road to true wealth.

Life indeed is about choices. We may occasionally make the wrong turns, but if we take those detours as useful lessons, our life will truly be enriched.

> Deputy executive editor Soo Ewe Jin (ewejin@thestar.com.my) believes there should be no secrets hidden from each other in a good marital relationship. And he is quite sure his wife already knows how he will vote in Kelana Jaya and Seri Setia as she has this uncanny ability, like all wives, to read his mind.

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