Friday March 17, 2006
‘Brilliant’ Bushisms
By RALPH BERRY
PRESIDENT Bush, as I argue, must have a covert squad of linguists trained to supply him with a never-ending stream of offences against grammar. I also guess that they are on a 12-month tour of duty, like the military, after which they retire exhausted, used up. They have their campaign ribbons and commendations.
Let me try to sift the work of these unsung heroes.
Some Bushisms have a surreal brilliance. “I’m honoured to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein.” This could make a cartoon by Charles Addams.
“You disarm, or we will.” Is this a reminiscence of The Mouse that Roared, starring Peter Sellers?
“We want [teachers] to know how to teach the science of reading. In order to make sure there’s not this kind of federal – federal cuff link.” That’s a wonderful image.
“However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanise society.” I cannot see how a method of treating rubber can apply to society, but the metaphor is certainly striking.
When declining to answer reporters’ questions at the Quebec conference, the President said, “Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican.” He really ought to know that south of the border they speak Spanish, not Mexican.
But the main feature of the President’s speechways is repetition. It is a dogged pursuit of meaning by using the same words over and over again:
“The most effective way to conserve energy is by using energy more efficiently.” True.
“The reason I believe in a large tax cut is because it’s what I believe.” That’s a statement out of Philosophy 101.
“States should have the right ? to end the inhumane practice of ending a life that could otherwise live.”
“It’s a time of sorrow and sadness when we lose a loss of life.”
“Unrest in the Middle East creates unrest throughout the region.”
“It’s very important for folks to understand that when there’s more trade, there’s more commerce.”
And my favourite: “It is clear our nation is reliant upon foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from overseas.”
Of all subject-matter, education has the most dangerous appeal for the President. He is drawn to it as a moth to a flame. “The illiteracy level of our children are appalling.” Repeat after me, everybody: subject and verb must agree in number – “The illiteracy level ... is ...”
“You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.” That should be “he or she”.
“Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?” Even more rarely should the question be asked like that or they’ll be learning wrong grammar!
The US Navy has a coarse phrase for all this, which ends “and mind in neutral”. President Bush does not see the need for thought before speech. He relies on speech to generate thought, as he goes along.
Lord Acton said that power corrupts, but he did not name a subtle area of corruption: nobody interrupts when the leader speaks, nobody bursts into an uncontrollable fit of giggles. The speaker has the floor and holds it. It is his stage. I cannot improve on the President’s own summing-up: “If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I’m the dictator.”
The Oxford English Dictionary was published in 1928, in all its 12-volume splendour. Americans had contributed hugely to the great dictionary. The first two sets were formally presented. One set went to George V. The other went to Calvin Coolidge, President of the United States. That presentation today would be an embarrassment for Oxford and for America.
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