Wednesday November 28, 2007
Fun with hyperboles
By OH TEIK THEAM
HYPERBOLE: A figure of speech which uses extravagant exaggeration for emphasis or effect. It is not intended to be taken literally. Many idioms are hyperbolic, e.g. “a flood of tears”, “waiting for ages”, “costs an arm and a leg”.
The playboy
A middle-aged playboy who has gone around with more women than a revolving door in a posh hotel approaches a young woman in a bar and says with a twinkle in his eyes, “Where have you been all my life?”
Looking at him coolly, she says, “Well, for the first half of it, I wasn’t born yet!”
The talkative wife
The husband of a woman who could even have the last word with an echo calls his doctor.
After identifying himself, he says, “Doc, my wife dislocated her jaw this morning. If you’re in my neighbourhood next week or the week after, please drop in and see her.”
The rabbit and the lion
A rabbit and a lion go to a restaurant together. A waiter hands them the menu, which is as thick as a telephone directory.
The rabbit is so hungry that he ignores the menu and says to the waiter, “I’m famished. Give me a green salad and a glass of carrot juice.”
“What about you, lion?” asks the waiter.
“Nothing for me,” replies the leonine creature. “I’m not hungry.”
The rabbit says to the waiter, “If he’s hungry, do you think I’d be here?”
The overweight man
A man with a belly so big you can keep a limousine in it goes to see a doctor.
“You must do something about your excess weight,” says the doctor.
“I can’t seem to lose it,” the man says. “It must be an overactive thyroid.”
”The test shows your thyroid is normal. If anything is overactive, it’s your fork!”
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