Thursday May 17, 2007
It takes two to tango
By LYDIA TEH
Someone shouted, “Encore! Someone wolf-whistles. Eh Poh Nim grins widely as she takes her seat beside Jane. She and her colleagues have adjourned to a karaoke lounge after a company dinner and she has just given a stirring rendition of ‘Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina’.
“I love that song and you sang it so well,” Jane sighs and proceeds to sing, “You won’t believe me,/ all you will see is a girl you once knew,/ although she’s dressed up to the nines,/ at sixes and sevens with you ? Hey, I’ve always wondered, what’s the meaning of at sixes and sevens?”
“If someone is at sixes and sevens, it means they are in a state of confusion or not very organised,” Eh Poh Nim says.
“Dressed up to the nines means to be dressed up nicely, isn’t it?” Jane asks.
“To be exact, dressed up glamorously, sometimes more so than necessary. That reminds me, did you see that woman who was dressed up to the nines? We bumped into her earlier on the way in,” Eh Poh Nim says.
“The one wearing a long white gown with sequins on the bodice? Yeah, she’s certainly overdressed for a karaoke session.”
Paul comes and takes a seat beside Jane. “Who’s overdressed, Jane? Not you, that’s for sure.”
Jane slaps his thigh. “Don’t you dare insult me. We’re talking about the woman in the sexy white gown.”
“She’s real foxy, man. Too bad she’s taken,” Paul says.
“How do you know?” Jane asks.
“When I passed by her room on the way to the loo, I peeped in and saw her cutting a cake with a dashing guy at her side. Engagement party.”
“She must be on cloud nine!” Jane quips. “I was very happy when I got engaged. But we didn’t have a big do. We only exchanged rings.”
“Eh Poh Nim, when’s your turn to be in seventh heaven?” Paul asks.
Eh Poh Nim blushes. “It’s really none of your business. I’m extremely happy when you don’t needle me.”
“It takes two to tango, Eh Poh Nim.”
Someone has taken the mike and is belting out ‘Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka-dot Bikini’.
“Tango? This bikini song is good for dancing. Get out there and dance, you two,” Jane says, snapping her fingers to the catchy tune.
“Never in a million years will I dance with Paul. Anyway, Jane, it takes two to tango is an expression which is the same as it takes two hands to clap. A difficult situation or argument cannot be the fault of one person alone. In this case, I think Paul’s doing the tango on his own,” Eh Poh Nim says.
“To get back to my topic, I don’t understand why you’re still unattached, Eh Poh Nim,” Paul says. “You’re smart, pretty and articulate. Guys should be falling all over you.”
“Whoa! That’s a strong come-on line. You’ve got the hots for Eh Poh Nim, haven’t you?” Jane winks at him.
“Don’t be silly, Jane. Paul and I don’t have anything in common.”
“How would you know unless you go out with me? It’s a catch 22 situation. You won’t go out with me, so you won’t know. And you don’t know, so you won’t go out with me,” Paul says.
Eh Poh Nim frowns. “Er, Paul, I don’t see the connection. You’ve got it all wrong. Catch 22 refers to a frustrating situation where you need to do one thing before doing a second, and you cannot do the second before doing the first. For example, a fresh graduate can’t find a job without work experience and without work experience, they can’t get a job. That’s Catch 22. Heard of two’s company and three’s a crowd? Jane and I are doing fine on our own here. Aren’t we, Jane?” She pats Jane on the shoulders.
“Mmm ? this is usually meant for a couple of lovers who don’t want to be disturbed by another person,” Paul retorts, his eyes narrowing as he looks from Eh Poh Nim to Jane. Then he shakes his head. “Nah, can’t be. Jane’s married.”
“Go sing a song. The mike is free now,” Jane says, making a shooing motion with her hand.
Paul saunters off with hands in his pockets.
“I think he has had one over the eight. Did you smell the liquor on his breath?” Eh Poh Nim says.
“What’s one over the eight?” Jane asks.
“He has taken too much alcohol. He’s a bit drunk.”
“You think so? Listen to him. He’s singing ‘Feelings’ with lots of feeling. He doesn’t look like he’s at sixes and sevens. I think he likes you. Give him a chance, Eh Poh Nim. He’s quite a nice guy,” Jane says.
Eh Poh Nim pretends to vomit.
Lydia Teh is the author of Honk! If You’re Malaysian which is available at major bookstores. Visit her blog at http://lydiateh.wordpress.com for other Eh Poh Nim articles.
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