Wednesday April 9, 2008
Shuffle off this mortal coil
By LYDIA TEH
WOW! Look at that!” Eh Poh Nim exclaimed. “What is it?” Jane asked. They were whiling away the last 15 minutes of their lunch hour at the reception area. She peered over Eh Poh Nim’s shoulders at the newspaper she was reading.
“This woman’s obituary is amazing. She died at 100, had 18 children and 42 grandchildren,” said Eh Poh Nim.
“She was the third wife, no wonder there were so many children,” said Jane as she ran a finger over the page and counted. “Eight of her children and seven sons- and-daughters-in-law are already six feet under.”
“Not to mention her husband and his first and second wives who are waiting for her at the pearly gates. She’s so old I suppose she passed away of natural causes.”
“In obituaries, passing away peacefully means the person died of illnesses or in their sleep. If they mention passed away suddenly, then it’s usually due to an accident,” Jane said.
“How do you know?” Eh Poh Nim asked.
“I used to work in the advertisement department of a local daily. I’ve seen too many death certificates not to know.”
“I’d like to cash in my chips when I’m sleeping. At a ripe old age. That’s the best way to go – painlessly and after living a long, useful life,” Eh Poh Nim said.
“Yeah, who doesn’t? Nobody wants to meet the grim reaper before his number is up.”
Ramlah the accounts clerk interrupted their conversation.
“Jane, can you please pass this around your department?” she asked. “It’s a collection for Zambri. His father passed away this morning.”
“Oh dear, we were just talking about obituaries. How did he die?”
“He had a stroke. Give me a buzz when you’re done? Thanks.”
Ramlah handed a white envelope to Jane and went back upstairs.
“Let’s start with you. How much do you want to chip in?” Jane glanced over at Eh Poh Nim and noticed her subdued face. The corners of her lips drooped and her eyes were downcast. “Are you okay? Do you know Zambri’s father?”
“No. It brings back memories of my dad’s passing. He died of a stroke at 55. He didn’t give up the ghost immediately but the doctor said he wasn’t long for this world. A fortnight after the stroke, it was curtains for him. It was hard for us to see him suffer during the last two weeks. He was paralysed from the neck down.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
Eh Poh Nim shook her head. “It’s a pity my father shuffled off this mortal coil at such a young age. He would’ve been so proud to see me graduate, the first to do so in the Eh family. It’s already 14 years since he’s been pushing up the daisies, such a long time ago.”
“Oh, he liked planting daisies when he was alive?”
Eh Poh Nim smiled sadly. “No, he didn’t have a green finger. Someone who’s pushing up the daisies is dead. Daisies are flowers that are commonly grown on graves, so I suppose that’s how the idiom came about. Jane, did you notice we’ve been using idioms on death? Cash in your chips. Give up the ghost. Meeting the grim reaper and so on so forth.”
“Mmm ? you’re right. Hey, why are we talking about death?” Jane said, shivering involuntarily.
“Let’s change the subject. Did you see Pirates of the Caribbean – At World’s End?”
“I saw the trailer on TV.”
“Captain Jack Sparrow is so cute, don’t you think? The bad guy, what’s his name, Davy Jones – he gives me the creeps. He’s so ugly with all the slimy tentacles growing from his face. I can’t wait for him to kick the bucket in the show.”
“I suppose he snuffed it in the end? In movies, all bad guys bite the dust, unless there’s a sequel.”
“Yeah, he died. Jack killed him on the ship.”
“So he went to Davy Jones’ locker. A fitting end indeed.” Seeing Jane’s puzzled look, she continued, “Davy Jones’ locker is sailors’ slang for bottom of the ocean. Someone who has gone to Davy Jones’ locker died at sea.”
“Oh, I see. Davy Jones died at sea and went to Davy Jones’ locker. Interesting. Hey! I thought we were going to change the subject!” Jane retorted.
“We are. It’s time to get back to work.” Eh Poh Nim put the newspaper back on its stand.
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