Thursday May 1, 2008
Life in the idioms
By LYDIA TEH
EH Poh Nim bumped into her neighbour Noreen at the mini-market in the vicinity.
“Hi, there. Buying rice?” Noreen asked, eyeing the 10kg bag of rice in Eh Poh Nim’s trolley. “I see you’ve bought the brand endorsed by Jalaluddin Hassan.”
“Oh, I don’t care about the endorsement. I buy it because mum likes it,” Eh Poh Nim said.
“This guy is really larger than life. I loved to watch him when he hosted Who Wants To Be a Millionaire.”
“He’s the sort who comes across as confident, impressive, flamboyant, and likely to attract attention. Don’t tell me you had a crush on him?”
“Eeesh,” Noreen said as she playfully pinched Eh Poh Nim’s arm. “People like him move in different circles lah. Celebrities lead a high life.”
“The luxurious lifestyle of fashionable society isn’t something I aspire to.”
“Same here.” Noreen placed two boxes of chocolates into her shopping basket.
“You have a sweet tooth.”
“It’s a bribe for Intan. You see, she’s at that age when she asks lots of questions. Frankly, I’m not ready to tell her about the facts of life yet. When she asks something along that line, I offer her a chocolate to distract her.”
Eh Poh Nim clapped a hand to her forehead. “Kak Noreen, how can you do that? She’s already 11, isn’t she? That’s about time for her to learn about sexual matters and reproduction.”
“Shh! Not so loud.” Noreen looked around to see if anyone had overheard them. “Wait till you have children of your own. Then you’ll realise it’s not so easy.”
“For the life of me, I can’t imagine having kids.” Eh Poh Nim paused and shook her head after a while. “No, if my life depended on it, I just can’t.”
They headed towards the cashier.
“Wah! Look at that old man at the counter,” Noreen said.
“That’s Uncle Song. He’s 90 but there’s life in the old dog yet.”
“Ya, I can see that. Though he’s so old, he has a lot of energy in him. Look at how he’s bagging the groceries. His hands are pretty steady.”
“At his age, he’s still the life and soul of the party, you know,” Eh Poh Nim said.
“I have a friend who’s like that. She enjoys social occasions and makes them more enjoyable for others. Hey, may I get a ride home? I walked here.”
“Sure.”
They paid for their purchases and left the mini-market together. Eh Poh Nim was manoeuvring her shopping cart down the ramp when she saw a man running along the road. He was headed in her direction.
“Stop! Thief!” Someone shouted.
Eh Poh Nim released her trolley handle and it rammed into the fleeing man. He picked himself up and jumped onto a motorbike which had screeched to a halt near him. In his haste to escape, he left his spoil behind. She retrieved the handbag from the road.
Eh Poh Nim handed the bag to the middle-aged woman who had caught up by now. “Thank you, Miss! Thank you!”
Noreen had noted the motorbike’s registration number, and gave it to the victim to lodge a police report. The woman gushed her thanks again.
“You’re a lifesaver, Eh Poh Nim, I’m proud of you,” Noreen said as she patted her on the back after the woman left.
“It’s the trolley which was the help provider.” She wheeled the cart to her car. “Seems like there’s more low life creeping around the neighbourhood these days. Just the other day I heard of a jogger who fell victim to a snatch thief.”
“I don’t understand the mindset of these criminals. Why can’t they get an honest job?”
“These people just want money to fall on their lap without doing any work. If they can accept the fact that life is no bowl of cherries, then they may be able to steer clear of crime. Life’s not always easy.”
“I wish there were more police patrolling our streets. I dare not let my kids out on the street. It’s not safe. Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t we set up a neighbourhood watch?” Noreen said.
Eh Poh Nim, who was storing her groceries in the trunk of the car, stared at her neighbour. “Are you serious? You want to take your life into your hands?”
“Don’t exaggerate. I’m not about to do something dangerous. It’s just street patrol.”
“What if you meet a gang of robbers with parangs? Criminals these days are very violent. Think of your kids.”
“I am.”
“Let’s mull over this, shall we?” Eh Poh Nim started her car. “For all you know, your husband will shoot down the idea.”
Lydia Teh is the author of Honk! If You’re Malaysian and Life’s Like That – Scenes from Malaysian Life, available at good bookstores. Visit her blog at www.lydiateh.wordpress.com.
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