The use of words with double meanings and double entendres in jokes.

A FRIEND told me this joke about a man whom no one really liked. For years, he made life hell for his co-workers, subordinates and his family.

“Do you know what they found when they did an MRI scan on his brain?” asked my friend.

Knowing my friend, I smiled in anticipation of his humorous answer.

“When they checked his left brain, they found nothing was right and when they checked his right brain, nothing was left. That’s why he’s such an unreliable fool.”

The play on words left me laughing.

My daughter’s favourite jokes also include many which employ the use of words with double meanings. For instance, take a look at the following about a simple-minded girl called Mary:

> Mary took a ruler to bed so she could know how long she slept.

> Mary stared at an orange juice carton for 10 minutes because it said “concentrate”.

> Mary thought a quarterback was a refund programme.

> Mary was driving to the airport and when she saw the sign “Airport left”, she turned around and went home.

> Mary put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

There are also jokes that play on double meanings in the world of science. Here’s one:

Atom A: I think I lost one of my electrons.

Atom B: Are you positive?

Or, this one: When his pregnant wife had her labour pains and was ready to have their baby, Michael drove his wife to Pizza Hut. The reason? They promised free delivery.

Then, there are jokes, especially prevalent in movies and comedies that make use of the double entendre.

According to Wikipedia, “a double entendre is a figure of speech in which a spoken phrase is devised to be understood in either of two ways. Often the first meaning is straightforward, while the second meaning is less so: often risqué, inappropriate, or ironic”.

Meanwhile The Oxford English Dictionary defines a double entendre as especially being used to “convey an indelicate meaning”. It is often used “to express potentially offensive opinions without the risks of explicitly doing so”.

In other words, the double entendre is a figure of speech, in which a spoken phrase can be understood in one of two ways.

Very frequently, one of the meanings is risqué or sexual in context, while the other meaning is very innocent.

Have you heard of the following one?

The label on a package of sausage read, “Smoked Sausage by Chef Andre – Prick With A Fork”.

Double entrendres are particularly famous in James Bond movies. For fear of offending readers, I’ll pluck just one example from the movie A View To A Kill in which the following conversation occurs:

James Bond: “I take it you spend quite a lot of time in the saddle.”

Bond girl: “I love an early morning ride.”

James Bond: “Well, I’m an early riser myself.”

Even in sports commentary, you might find observations made that can be passed off as honest remarks but have, in fact, another indelicate meaning that sets many a man laughing his head off.

For instance, Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open last year had this to say that brought a smile even to my face:

“Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.”

To the uninitiated, the above conversation can seem quite innocent. In fact, that is the reason double entrendres often appear in TV comedies or movies which are even watched by children. Being young, they do not grasp the risqué meaning behind the innocent words and often find their parents’ laughter beyond their comprehension!

Women, I find, generally feel very uncomfortable being in the presence of men who love using the double entrende – especially the ones with a sexual implication.

In fact, if you’re a woman, you have to be particularly careful with men at parties or dinners who say the most innocent things to you but mean the exact opposite!

If you accuse them of harassing you, they will usually defend themselves by claiming that their statement was truly innocent, but it is you who have a dirty mind.

An obnoxious man named Ron who sat next to me at a party recently enquired politely if I was a teacher. When I said “yes”, he threw me this riddle to solve.

“He took me from a bar. He took me in his car. He took my top off. He puts his lips on mine, but I didn’t mind. Who am I?”

The answer was of course, “a bottle of beer or juice or wine!” but I sidestepped the riddle and asked my own question instead:

“Guess this first. You’re always behind, yet you’re clever. People think they can wipe your products off you and take advantage of you but you know better. Who are you?’

Before he could answer, I walked away. I really didn’t want to see his face when he discovered the answer was “smart-ass!”

Ladies, going to a party tonight? Do improve your English so that you can learn to come back with rejoinders like mine when you meet men like Ron.

Left/right brain: The hemisphere on the left side or right side of the brain.

Nothing was right: Nothing was correct or as normal as it should be.

Nothing was left: There was no remainder.

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