ONE sunshiny morning, Goldilocks chased a little rabbit that was scampering into the forest. The nimble animal easily outdistanced her, and eventually she realised that she was lost.

Suddenly, she saw a ramshackle cottage and ran towards it. She peeped inside through an open window, and what she saw was so inviting that she climbed intruder window.

She looked around her and said softly, “There’s no one here – this bears out my suspicion. The curtains are drawn, but the table and chairs are real!”

An hour earlier, the three bears who lived in the cottage had decided to take a walk in the woods. Father Bear had said to Mother Bear, “We are not in great shape. It is time we practised girth control and tried to be as trim as our neighbears. Don’t leave the alphabet soup on the stove when we leave the house – it could spell disaster.” And Baby Bear had chimed in, “I’d like to see both of you win the Nobelly Prize one day.”

Goldilocks saw lots of food on the table. She bit off a chunk of bread roll and thought, “A bun is the lowest form of wheat, but this one tastes delicious.” Taking a freshly cooked egg from a pipkin, she said, gigging helplessly, “You can’t beat a hard-boiled egg for breakfast!”

Our little wrongdoer then helped herself to a bowl of porridge. She accidentally spilt some of it on the floor, and as she mopped up the spillage with a wedge of sponge cake, she wondered aloud, “Why did the person who cooked the porridge keep it in round dishes when it is a square meal?”

After the appetising refection, Goldilocks decided to take a nap. She was fast asleep when the three bears returned.

The ursine creatures immediately sensed that something was wrong. “Somebody has eaten my porridge!” snivelled Baby Bear. “There’s trouble bruin!”

Father Bear’s eyes bulged with rage when he saw his pipe and its dottle on the floor. “Someone has broken my pipe!” he vociferated. “I hope my friend Macguybear can fix it!”

“Maybe this is a sign that you should stop smoking,” Mother Bear said matter-of-factly, “for the sake of your ‘lungevity’.”

Waving the suggestion aside, Father Bear marched to the bedroom, followed by Mother Bear, to further investigate the trespass. Both of them gaped in amazement at the pretty girl with golden locks.

Goldilocks woke up with a start, drew her arm over her eyes, and sobbed outright. Shivering like a rabbit, she flung the blanket in the air, jumped out of the bed, and tried to run away through the door.

The equable Mother Bear gently caught the tearful girl and hushed her to a soothing silence.

Kind creatures that they were, the three bears forgave Goldilocks for her peccadilloes, and they even walked her home.

(Adapted from a children’s bedtime story)

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