Tuesday April 23, 2013
The train passengers
IDIOMANIA By OH TEIK THEAM
A HANDSOME young accountant and his general manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to a big city. They share a compartment with a beautiful young woman, who is elegantly dressed in a creamy white skirt and an apple-green blouse, and her grandmother.
The accountant and the young woman sit facing each other. They give each other the eye, and she even reciprocates his friendly smile with a graceful curl of her lips and the ghost of a nod.
Before boarding the train, the accountant had planned to sink his teeth into a John Grisham legal thriller, but now he can’t keep his eyes off the young woman, who he thinks resembles an old flame of his brother’s.
Fifteen minutes later, as the sun is beginning to call it a day, the train enters a tunnel – and it is black as pitch. The sound of a smacking kiss fills the air in the compartment, and it is almost immediately followed by the sound of a hard slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four passengers in the compartment are lost in their own thoughts, with not a word from any of them.
With a self-satisfied grin, the grizzled granny thinks, “It was brash of that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I’m glad she slapped him.”
Rubbing his aquiline nose, the general manager thinks, “I’m surprised that my pusillanimous accountant overmastered his shyness and kissed the girl, but I wish she hadn’t missed him and slapped me by mistake.”
Smiling exuberantly with her eyes, the young woman thinks, “I’m glad the young man kissed me. What a great kisser he is – he’s got kissing down to a fine art! But I’m disappointed that Grandma slapped him.”
Biting his lower lip to prevent a smile of pleasure, the accountant thinks, “What I did was below the belt, but how often does a guy have a chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his general manager in one fell swoop?”
Give someone the eye: To look at someone with (romantic) interest.
Ghost of a nod: A barely perceptible nod.
Sink one’s teeth into: To become completely engaged in.
An old flame: A former sweetheart.
Call it a day: To stop work or an activity, or to rest.
Black as pitch: Very dark; totally black.
pusillanimous: Timid, cowardly or faint-hearted
By mistake: Erroneously.
Get something down to a fine art: To do something skilfully.
Below the belt: Unfair or unfairly.
In/at one fell swoop: All at the same time.
> After retiring from handling numbers at the bank, the writer now moves to new writing ‘destinations’ using GPS (grammar, punctuation, style).
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