Understanding teenagers

TO MANY parents, teenagers are like strangers who have taken over the bodies of their darling babies. Teenagers, on their part, are convinced that their parents come from a different planet.

Caught between childhood and adulthood, the teenage years are when children need to be nurtured with sensitivity, for this is also the period when they are most misunderstood. As individuality develops and they become assertive, teenagers can sometimes be seen as rebellious, stubborn or withdrawn.

This difficult process of striving to find themselves is expressed through speech, dressing, attitude and writing. If you look at his handwriting, you may be able to get an idea of what your child is going through.

The idolised parent

Despite what they may let on, many teenagers are still in awe of the dominant parent, and their handwriting tends to emulate this parent. Some teens even copy the signature style of the parent before going on to develop their own. This is an immediate clue to behaviour.

If the “hero” parent has a positive character, all is good. But should this parent have negative traits, then there is always the danger of the child becoming an adolescent version of the adult.

If the idolised parent is a father who verbally abuses the mother, then the child will have this habit. Adults must be self-aware.

A word of praise

Teenagers are constantly subjected to rules and supervision. At school they must conform and study hard to make the grade. At home, they must behave, do their share of chores and abide by household rules. It seems as if they are constantly being corrected and criticised.

But where is the praise?

Is everything they do wrong? It’s enough for anyone to grow up feeling inadequate. Whether you are a parent with teenage children or a teacher who handles teenagers, you must make an effort to acknowledge a positive trait or talent in your charge. Praise him and help him explore his potential.

If you are trained in studying handwriting you will be able to decipher a child’s inclinations and traits in his writing. The following are some examples:

Forward slant, rounded letters of a, d and o (above). These show that the writer is friendly, helpful and kind. She works well with people and should do well in human resources, teaching and any career that involves lots of social activities.

Undecided (Aug 9, 1986)

The upright, well-formed scripts with strongly formed I’s (above) reveal a person who is confident, reliable and has leadership qualities. Suited as a corporate leader, lawyer, doctor or work in the military or engineering fields.

Good flow, spacing and upright letterings (above). L.C.L. is focused, stable and reliable, and will do well as a banker, teacher, architect or researcher in the medical field.

Printed script with good curves and curls in y’s and j’s; strong strokes (above). Ruby is talented, intelligent and creative. Suitable fields to explore include the arts, electronics, IT, business, public relations and journalism.

Closely placed letters, large middle zone with diminished upper zone (above). What the script reveals is someone who is controlled, secretive and precise. Career possibilities include accounting, music and espionage. Courfeyrac will also make a reliable personal assistant.

Generous, rounded middle zone (above). Kim is reliable, loving, caring and giving. She will do well in healthcare, social activism, law or homemaking.

Yee Chui Xing (Jan 11, 1992)

Rounded formations of o, a and g. Upright with slight curl (above). Yee is affectionate, loving, creative and imaginative. The arts, creative work, interior design, architecture, fashion design and homemaking all hold possibility for her.

Well-formed and balanced traditional script (above). Good spacing and strong upper zone. The writing shows Zealot to be controlled, stable, traditional, honest and intuitive. These are the suitable careers to pursue: banker, researcher, teacher, theologian, stockbroker, developer, town planner or judge.

Very upright with even zones. Straight, strong downward strokes (above). This is the writing of someone who is strong, determined and self-sufficient. Tasha has the potential to be a corporate leader, politician, lawyer, doctor, law-maker, activist or sports doctor.

Independent I’s with no frills. Wide spacing, well crossed t’s (above). This is someone who is independent, decisive, and has leadership qualities. TLWN will make a good corporate leader, adventurer, explorer, doctor or salesman.

Dooii (Oct 11, 1990)

Curly, concise and stylised print (above). Creative, imaginative, loving, homely – all of which means Dooii will do well as a decorator, chef, homemaker, nurse, kindergarten teacher, mother or anything involving childcare.

Spotting trouble

It is from a teenager’s handwriting that you can often detect early warning signs of trouble. Although deep psychiatric problems do not usually manifest in teenagers, anxiety and frustration are common. From the moment the child steps into the playground, he is thrust into a world where he has to learn to stand up for himself, relate to different people and also compete.

This is bound to result in emotional stress. Spotting such anxieties in a teenager can help a parent rectify problems that could go on to become lifetime burdens.

Repression of frustration

Hard, downward strokes with no loops or sharp loops. Such strokes indicate emotions that are suppressed.

Self-criticism

Sharp downward strokes with added flourishes called serifs. The writing shows conflict that is being covered-up or habits that may be self-destructive. The downward strokes may also suggest sexual inadequacy.

Listless and tired

Light pressure, incomplete letters and writing that slopes down. This shows a teenager who is tired, sick or demoralised. Should such writing persist, then counselling may be necessary to determine the root of the problem.

Rebellious

Heavy pressure with large lower loops. This is the writing of someone with pent-up energy. Unless this nervous energy is released through sports or other activities, you can expect plenty of rebellion.

Extreme anxiety

Unevenly formed letters, erratic rhythm and slants, inverted alphabets, unnecessary loops. The writer is anxious about the future. This could be due to a divorce or a move to a different town. There are also insecurities – perhaps from being bullied in school or sexually molested.

Sensitive

Light writing and wavy. The letter I is curled up. A sensitive personality that needs love and reassurance. Harsh words or treatment will only make this teenager insecure and introverted.

Mazlinah (Jan 3, 1985)

The strokes and wavy lines indicate a lack of commitment. Letters that are not complete indicate carelessness, lack of focus or will-power as well as laziness. Hanging alphabets like the a’s and d’s show a character who cannot take criticism constructively. A soft but firm approach is required.

Douglas (Jan 21, 1986)

Very intelligent but has an ego problem. Anti-social attitudes may develop. The slight backward slope indicates a person who wants to distance himself from personal contacts. Fancy loops and letter formation speaks of intelligence but exaggerated downward loops speak of vanity and heightened sexual instincts. Incomplete letters speak of carelessness or boredom.

The complexities of emotions in this person has to be addressed and his mental and physical energies need to find expression. Counselling may need to be considered.

Conclusion

Teenagers are never comfortable discussing their emotional problems though they may be quick to complain about their torn uniform or the weight of the school bags. Little signs, like a change in handwriting, can signal that something is not quite right. Try to spot them. You’ll notice that when the problem is under control, the handwriting will return to normal.

It is not easy managing a teenager but every parent goes through it. Many just do their best, saying “que sera sera” or “whatever will be will be”. Many parents develop ulcers or begin to feel inadequate when they are unable to deal with difficult teenagers.

There are no simple rules, but a combination of love, praise and a firm hand usually does the trick.

When all is said and done, a teenager ultimately grows up to reflect – in one way or another – parents. As the apple does not fall far from the tree, bear in mind that it is your example that helps to shape your teenager’s character.

If you care for the feelings of your teenager, this will make all the difference. Caring for a teenager is not just about providing him with clothing and food and putting a roof over his head. It is also about being concerned about how your child is coping emotionally with the pains of growing up. W

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