Thursday November 5, 2009
All in the family
A Tibetan lama discovers the joy of fatherhood, while fulfilling his mission to bring the teachings of Buddha to the ends of the earth.
SHORTLY after Shyalpa Rinpoche Jigmed Tenzin Wangpo’s birth, his parents parted ways. But that did not taint his views on marriage. Today Shyalpa Rinpoche, 44, is happily married with three children whom he adores.
The lama met his beautiful Tibetan wife, Tenzin Choeden, in New York through friends.
Shyalpa Rinpoche Jigmed Tenzin Wangpo was trained as a lama at age four. “Everything is destined. There is karma. I was ready to find somebody to marry and she was ready to settle down to marriage. The timing was perfect,” says Rinpoche.
Asked if his lineage requires him to have children to continue the bloodline, he says: “I would like to think that everyone has a free choice because Tibetan Buddhist society is very sophisticated. I’m not sure I want to buy into this idea that my son has to marry someday. If he chooses to renounce marriage and become a monk, I will support him 100%. Real lineage is the lineage of awareness. So I will support what he wants to be.”
Of marriage, he says: “Lamas are humans too. Who doesn’t allow marriage? Human beings are free to live their own lives. I am non-dogmatic.”
People, he says, misunderstand Buddhism. “Buddha gave freedom to everybody to live the way they choose. If they choose to take a vow of celibacy, then they remain so. If they don’t, then they’re not celibate.”
RIght now, Rinpoche is enjoying fatherhood to the hilt. He has two girls, aged eight and seven, and a two-year-old boy. Eight years ago, his wife and children moved from his base in New York to Nepal so that the children could grow up in a society steeped in Buddhism and Tibetan culture, and mingle with more Tibetan children.
However, Rinpoche goes back to Nepal regularly to see his family. His eyes light up when he talks about his children.
Rinpoche’s wife, Tenzin Choeden, with their youngest son Ogyan Trinley Lhundup. “It was my good fortune to have my first child. I felt she was very vulnerable and needed a lot of protection. I named her Choying Dechen; she is a source of great bliss,” says Rinpoche.
Recently, while in Kuala Lumpur, he missed his family and phoned them. His eldest daughter asked: “Where are you, Rinpoche?” She was eager to know when he was coming home. So he invited his family to meet him in Hong Kong. After Malaysia, he was headed for Taiwan and Hong Kong. He wanted to take the children to Hong Kong Disneyland!
“My second child, Kunchok Palmo, is eloquent and talkative but not so emotional like the first one,” he said.
He related how she came back from school one day to find her mother in the shower. “Mum, why is the water running when you’re using soap and shampoo? There are so many people in the world who do not have water. How could you waste water?” asked the precocious seven-year-old.
Rinpoche with his daughters, Choying Dechen (left) and Kunchok Palmo Of his son, Ogyan Trinley Lhundup, Rinpoche says: “He has great presence and a beautiful character. In America, my students were so thrilled to see him. He is only two years old but they found him to be so mature like a grown-up. He has great qualities.”
His son’s birth was rather significant. Rinpoche recalled that when he and a group of people went looking for water, they found a stream of the purest water. At that moment, a phone call came through with the news that his son was born. For years, the people had a hard time finding water even after digging so many wells and buying more land to accommodate 150 monks. They could not find clean water.
“I told the group of five or six to drink as much as they could and poured water on their faces in celebration. Not only did we have water, we were able to give water to the villagers and neighbouring monasteries,” says Rinpoche.
A doting father, Rinpoche is also a loving son. He has kept in touch with his parents all these years. “I am very close to them and they are very kind and caring towards me. My parents divorced right after I was born. My grandmother took care of me. My father was a lama and my mother, a housewife,” reveals Rinpoche.
He also speaks lovingly of his grandfather who doted on him while he was growing up. “My grandpa was a spiritual master. He was the wisest person around and I looked up to him. He was the most courageous, sensitive and compassionate man I had ever met.
“I was born in a refugee camp in Nepal. Life was hard. Food was rationed and there were no medicine, no toilet facilities. You sleep with the cows, goats and chickens next to you. When you wake up in the morning, you have to plough the land and clear the jungle for farming,” Rinpoche recalls.
“When you become a refugee, you see the real life – how the majority of human beings suffer. That’s why I have this passion to help the poor and can relate to them.”
A highly accomplished spiritual master in Tibetan Buddhism, Rinpoche is from the 2,000-year-old Longchen Nyingthig lineage, one of the oldest Buddhist lineages.
Rigorous training
But as a child, Rinpoche did not have to suffer hardships like other refugees.
“I was educated. I led a privileged life because I was regarded as special,” says Rinpoche who was trained to be a lama at the age of four.
“We had a temple in the camp. My father was a highly accomplished ritual and chanting master.”
His father trained him in spiritual studies in the mornings and afternoons. “When I looked out the window, I could see my friends playing. I yearned to go out and play but I had to study four to six hours,” he recalls. Sometimes he would ran out to play for a while when he got bored with his books.
“When I was 15 or 16, I went to a university in Varanasi, India, to study Buddhist philosophy for seven years,” he says.
“It was a refugee university,” says Rinpoche, adding that about 200 students would sit on the bare cement floor of a small building to learn (from 8am till 1.30pm). But they were eager students and unbothered by the discomfort.
“We lived in a rented guesthouse where three students slept in a crammed space. Breakfast was two pieces of thin roti canai with very diluted tea. Lunch was rice with watery dhall. Dinner was three thin roti with potato curry.” If they had money, they would buy two tomatoes, one onion and two chillies to make a salad.
After he graduated from university, Rinpoche left for New York to propagate the teachings of Buddha.
The next couple of decades saw Rinpoche inspiring and guiding disciples through retreats across the world. He has also lectured at universities such as Harvard and Yale. Rinpoche has appeared on television and radio shows.
His current teaching schedule includes North America, South America, Europe and Asia.
In 1988, he founded Rangrig Yeshe Inc, his main organisation in the United States. It is a non-profit organisation to preserve Tibetan Buddhist teachings. In the United States and Europe, he has established foundations like the Dharmacakra Fund, which supports his teaching activities in Europe.
He re-established the Shyalpa Monastery and set up the Shyalpa Nunnery in Kathmandu, Nepal, and founded the Tibetan Children’s Fund which to-date has given a new lease of life to 300 needy children from India and Nepal.
Rinpoche is also in the midst of building Buddhafield, a centre for world peace in New York and the future site of a temple to promote the teachings of his lineage.
His first book, Living Fully: Finding Joy In Every Moment, which is a compilation of his teachings, will be published in New York in early January.
> Shyalpa Rinpoche will be back in Kuala Lumpur for a special teaching session entitled Living Fully and Joyfully, on Dec 5 & 6. Joining him will be Grandmaster Yap Cheng Hai who will be giving talks on feng shui. For invitation to the event, call Karen (016-920 5199), Siew Bee (016-920 6199) or e-mail wgkl09@gmail.com.
RSS
