I GOT to know a guy via a dating website. We chatted for a month before meeting for a drink. I had very good feelings about him from that first meeting. He is talkative while I’m the quiet type.

Since then, we’ve not met again as he lives in a different state. We keep in touch through text messages and MSN.

I have tried hinting that I’m interested in him but he does not respond to that. I feel he has lots to think about that. He seems to have had a bad experience in his previous relationship and that may be one reason why he does not give me an answer.

Should I wait for his answer or should I just ignore him and forget about him?

Should I force him to give me an answer? I know love cannot be forced but I really want to know whether he likes me. Is there an indirect way to go about this?

How do I know whether he has the same feelings for me?

Uncertainty

THE Internet is a great place to meet people. But it’s hard to communicate with them because you miss out on so much of the nuanced non-verbal messages.

Most people do not realise that the non-verbal communication is just as important as the verbal as it conveys so much meaning.

Making eye contact, leaning forward when you are listening to someone talk, smiling, laughing, twiddling your thumbs, the tone of your voice – these are all signs people look out for as an indication of how the other person feels for them. All this is lost, somewhat, when chatting over the Internet.

So, it is understandably hard for you to try and decipher what this guy is feeling, let alone thinking. It is best to not speculate. You are assuming too many things about him and that is adding to your uncertainty.

It is best that you ask him straight out. Love is something that takes time to develop. You have to get to know each other well, see if you “connect”, and even cultivate the right amount of chemistry. Getting him to tell you what he is feeling for you is not forcing him to love you. You just want an indication of where he thinks this relationship is going.

You can beat around the bush and drop hints all you want, but it is not going to help you. Be honest with yourself and him, and tell him how you feel.

If you think this is too forward, take your conversations off the Net and speak to each other over the phone. That will help both of you become more comfortable with each other and communication will become much better.

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