Sunday September 2, 2012
Beware the old road
AS far as I can remember, mum has never cooked a hearty meal for the family, the reason being she’s a working woman with a four-figure salary.
It was my dad’s mother who was the sole cook for our family. My grandmother saw to all our needs and my parents took everything for granted.
Now my mum insists that my wife – who’s a career woman too – should stay at home and do all that she never did for us when we were young.
Is this fair?
At least I and my wife see to my parents’ needs. My parents were too selfish and engrossed in their own work to do the same for their parents.
We spent our birthdays, weekends and festivals at dear grandma’s home. And my parents never invited poor grandma and grandpa for a cup of tea, not even to our house. Only now do I realise the greatness of my paternal grandparents.
But I am not a selfish man like my dad, who only had the time to do the last rituals for his parents. He never had the time to be with or talk to the dear ones who not only saw to his needs but took great care of me and my siblings too.
YES, it is unfair that your mother expects your wife to stay home. And, good on you for making the effort to spend some time with your parents.
But it may be unfair of you to say that your parents were selfish. They may have thought that spending all that time at work would have helped provide for you and your siblings.
It is common among families to rely on other family members to help look after the children when the parents are at work.
Maybe your parents could not afford to hire a babysitter or domestic worker. Or, they thought that you children would be better looked after by your grandmother.
Have you asked your mother why she does not want your wife to work? Maybe she realises the things she missed when you were growing up and does not want your wife to go through the same thing when you have children.
You are blessed to have been able to spend time with your grandparents. Knowing what your parents missed with them, do you want to go down the same road?