Sunday September 2, 2012
Angry over small things
I WILL be sitting for a major exam soon and I think I have anger issues. I get angry easily over small things, and it’s not even close to my period.
I used to have tantrums when I was younger, but I thought it would go away with time and I would be able to control my emotions better.
Recently I was annoyed with my mum for not buying me noodles for breakfast and I had to eat bread. Is this an anger issue? I feel like I’m getting irritated over silly issues.
My friends say it has to do with hormonal changes or maybe stress. Sometimes I get hurt by their words too. I know they are just playing, but how should I respond? Should I tell them that it hurts?
This anger thing is also a problem in my relationship with J. We are not together but we have feelings for each other. I sometimes get mad at him when he jokes about something and I begin to think that he doesn’t care. Later, he would clear up my confusion and I would be all right again.
But I don’t want to always be so immature. I feel sorry that J has to put up with my ridiculous behaviour.
GG
IT may be possible that you are reacting the way you do because you are going through a very stressful experience now. It sounds like you want to do well in your exam and must be working hard. Stress is just your body’s reaction to high demands. It’s not a bad thing; the problem is how you cope with it.
When we’re going through a stressful period, it takes very little to set us off. Thus when you didn’t get what you wanted, eg noodles, that prompted you to react.
It will be good for you to learn some coping mechanisms, like relaxation methods, or to engage in some kind of activity that can help you relax.
I think you also should give some attention to your perception that people don’t care for you. Your anger with your mother for giving you bread instead may just be a “surface” issue. What does it mean to you when she does not give you what she had promised?
It is the same thing with your friends. It is common among friends to make fun of each other and I’m sure you have done it too. So what is it about their making fun of you that upsets you?
You say you interpret your boyfriend’s actions to mean that he does not care. You need to understand that the people close to you care for you. More importantly, you need to believe that you deserve to be loved and cared for.
The key to managing anger is to understand yourself. When you know what you’re really upset about, then you will find out what you need to do to feel better.
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