Sunday January 20, 2013
Another year’s done
Crazy, Sexy, Honestly
By IDA NERINA
Whether it’s New Year’s Day or your birthday, it’s always good to reflect on the passing year and to envision what lies ahead.
SO, how many of you are still sticking to your New Year’s resolutions? For those of you who actually made some, that is.
If you read me a fortnight ago, you may remember I mentioned that resolutions made in silence to oneself need not be saved just for New Year’s. Well, my rather clever friend pointed out that perhaps our birthday is a good day to make some. Or rather, a good day to reflect on what your past year was about and what you would hope to achieve in the following year.
It’s a good day to assess your own personal year.
I sketchily seem to remember a saying that whatever you do on your birthday will mark the sort of year you’ll be experiencing ahead. Well, then... having just celebrated mine on Jan 13 with a master class filming workshop during the day, cake followed by dinner with my loved ones in the evening, I’d say I’m pretty well set for the year ahead!
What I realised and started doing unwittingly from the start of the year is to pick a random positive word – be it an emotion or a trait, anything really that would trigger good positivity – and use it as my mantra for the day. You know, words like joy, patience, understanding, love, even cotton candy and ice cream for the positive memories that may be associated with them.
Funnily enough, on the day I chose the word “observant”, I received a telephone call from an old work acquaintance. And what I observed from that short conversation was: people are SO nosy! Nothing new, I know. Roll with me.
The first thing I was asked by this person was: “I heard from so-and-so you are on wheels?!? IS IT TRUE?!” So I gave the usual info and diplomatic deflection.
As we chatted a bit more, she asked again, “So is it PERMANENT?” Pause. I said, “Nothing is permanent, but really how do you expect me to answer that?” The response I got was what was so jarring to me. She jumped in without hesitation.
“Then you tell me, WHAT happened? HOW did this happen? HOW? And WHY?!?”
I had to muster all the patience within me from screaming out loud.
Why would you want to know something of someone who’s not even in your life and which is of no consequence to your own well-being and life? Now, whilst I have total respect and appreciation for people’s concern, this did not come across as concern. More of a gossiper’s need to know.
Such a fierce firing of questions from an acquaintance whom I had not heard of for more than a decade was sadly a rather unpleasant one. Her excuse was she was being polite? I’m sorry, but being polite is to mind one’s own business, surely?
On a more positive note, I’ve been surrounded by so many amazing women (and men) of late, and watching them work makes me think of how truly fortunate I am to be amongst such dedication and diligence and fierce support, no matter what race, religion or gender we are.
And all of us working towards the same goal in telling women’s’ stories in our own ways. But please don’t get me wrong, I’m still a humanist. While I still believe in the saying that “behind every man there’s a strong woman,” I just appreciate more keenly the fact that behind strong women, the men have to be stronger. Even if just to handle us. And that having men have our backs does not make us less strong or less of a feminist. I feel, in fact, that it makes us better people who can move beyond gender issues, who don’t have to reiterate over and over again our need to be seen as strong women at the forefront all the time.
I am ever grateful for another year from You to better myself. Another beautiful birthday that was spent learning (and it’s always good to be constantly learning!). I was surprised by my Ikal Mayang clan with their flowers, gifts and cupcakes after the workshop. And later at dinner with my family, I was surrounded by people who matter most in one’s life. I got my cake and ate it too. And I received more than I ever could imagine in terms of time, energy and love.
What else is there? Aaah... money, which we all need to sustain ourselves in this world. I guess this year, I also need to learn how to make more money doing what I love so that I may continue my quest to live life as I want to.
> Having put it off for far too long, Ida Nerina has finally surrendered to diversifying herself creatively. She continues to be grateful for life’s small mercies. And short people. You can follow her innocuous ramblings on fakebook and other rampant psycho babbling with that blue bird, as she seems to have become a twit with a camera – and deft with her fingers too.