A husband shows his appreciation for his wife in a rare tribute.

I COURTED my wife in 1985, two years after I graduated from University of Malaya as a civil engineer.

I proposed to her a year later and we registered our marriage officially on Nov 11, 1986 with my younger brother and her eldest brother as our witnesses in Kuala Lumpur.

Since we were already legally married, we opened up six joint bank accounts as there was a policy then regarding saving deposits of less than RM10,000 not being taxed.

Subsequently, I had to endure the stiff recession in 1986 until 1988. The recession in Malaysia was the first recession we went through. We had our first son on June 17, 1988 and were quite glad and thankful. Subsequently, we were blessed with a daughter on Aug 11, the following year.

I worked hard and provided the home with a stable income. I would leave the house as early as 7am and only returned home usually after 8pm, with only rest one Sunday a month! But the money that was earned throughout the years was sufficient to tide us through from 2001 till now.

We had our third child, another son, on Jan 27, 1995, and had our fair share of challenges too. When I married my wife, I promised her that I would love her and be responsible for our home, and that it would be provided with all the necessities and basic needs.

I am thankful that my Lord Jesus Christ has blessed me with abundance indeed.

Bringing up three children was full of excitement and challenges as far as discipline was concerned. It’s certainly quite different having children today compared with the days when we were young ourselves, and the values we were brought up with were quite different as well.

As the son of a rubber tapper, I would sleep before 10pm and wake up as early as 5am. In converse, my wife lived in a town, and she always sleeps closer to midnight and wakes up after 8am.

Then, we also had major challenges, trying to keep the peace at home with the understanding that she would play the role of disciplinarian, while I would be the “good daddy” whom the children could always appeal to for any decisions they felt weren’t fair to them.

I promised (and am still keeping to my promise) that I married her, not just because she was physically pretty, but also because she’s a kind and fine woman.

Her beauty isn’t just physical, but it is pure and lovely, and comes from within.

She cares and respects others, and though sometimes she could be lacking in patience when it comes to things which are not safe for me to venture into, her love for me and our three children is never ending.

I learnt from a very well written book about the ways to make a marriage work despite so-called “incompatibilities and diverse differences” between husband and wife.

The author explained very well about the basic diversity that could exist between husband and wife, man and woman, and he wrote that, for that very same reason, it keeps a marriage exciting. And the more new events occur, the diversities and differences between man and woman, wife and husband, become the fertilisers which can ultimately enrich a couple’s married life.

What I agreed most with this author was the fact that respect must be mutually promoted and protected.

After living with my wife for almost three decades, some tantrum from her is not unexpected. I also expect her to be set in certain ways till I die.

I also try to be patient with her meticulous ways, especially whenever we leave for vacations or outings, and she goes out of her way to ensure the home is well-secured.

Although she constantly struggles to be punctual for any function, I am glad she tries her best and has improved over the years.

Her wisdom has grown. Now she is a lot more confident as in the early days, she felt she married a man who was over-qualified for her. There were times she would feel inferior to the wives of my ex-university classmates who were graduates, as she was just a secondary school graduate.

After years of nurturing a family that will be having two more graduates to add to the fold, she is now proud to have married a graduate and be a mother to two industrious children, and a third child who will be entering university soon.

Recently, I had a near death experience as my stomach was bleeding profusely. She was so loving and caring, and even more mindful in reminding me to exercise, be more cautious with the kind of food and drinks I take, and insisting that I rest sufficiently before I was allowed to return to work.

I am thankful and grateful to my Lord Jesus Christ that I was blessed with such a loving and caring wife for the last 27 years, and a life partner whom I will treasure till I die. I promise to strive to be the husband she wishes me to be, for another 27 years more if God permits.

The true love between us stems from having trust, respect, sincerity and honesty for each other. I hope for both old and new couples to have tolerance, patience and mutual respect for each other; these are vital ingredients for any marriage to work and improve.

Do you have any real-life, heart-warming stories to share with readers? E-mail them to star2@thestar.com.my. We’d love to hear from you.

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