Wednesday February 6, 2013
Learning to control anger
HOW many times have we heard a father yelling at his child to stop picking on his younger sibling? Or a mother losing her temper because her four-year-old keeps whining incessantly?
Anger is a natural emotion for both parents and children but how it is controlled and managed makes a big difference on how it affects the family dynamics.
Parents need to take responsibility for their actions and be careful when they are angry as it can affect the way they discipline and speak to their children.
Child psychologist Datuk Dr Chiam Heng Keng points out that if parents want their children to emulate good behaviour, they need to set a good example.
Says Dr Chiam: “Being loud or speaking loudly should be avoided as you are conveying the message of power.
“A firm, normal voice which conveys that you will not tolerate nonsense is critical. Also, parents must not show they are unaffected by their child’s misbehaviour.”
Parents who blow up often for the slightest thing need to take a good look at their own shortcomings as it can have negative effects on children.
She points out that those who are hot-tempered and cannot control their anger will not be good role models as their actions or reactions are likely to be inappropriate.
Because children emulate their parents, it is important for parents to be calm and focused, no matter how angry or emotional they are.
Dr Chiam shares anger management tips with ParenThots.
Step in or let kids fight?
Sibling rivalry is bound to happen when you have more than one child.
It is especially intense and stressful for parents who have to play referee all day long.
Should parents leave siblings to sort out quarrels among themselves, or should they step in?
Norlin Wan Musa, mother of two, believes in letting her children work things out.
She only steps in if the arguments become too heated and does so to help her children learn to better express themselves.
Saraswathi Viswakumar, mother of a tween and a teen, finds herself stepping in all the time because fights in her house can get physical. What is your opinion on this? Share it with other parents on ParenThots.
Book reviews
The Dads’ Book For The Dad Who’s Best At Everything is not for the hands-on modern dad of today.
It reads a lot more like an idiot’s guide to fatherhood.
The Politically Incorrect Parenting Book offers brutal honesty and some fierce solutions that parents might baulk at. It is not for the faint-hearted.
Contests
The Gin & Jacqie Lola baby bag (pic) is different from other such bags as it doesn’t even look like a holdall for baby’s essentials. Yet, it comes with many compartments to help parents stay organised and get to baby’s items quickly and conveniently. Gin & Jacqie and ParenThots are giving away three Lola bags. To win one, just take part in the Win That Lola Baby Bag From Gin & Jacqie contest.
The contest form can be found on ParenThots. The closing date is this Saturday. If you don’t want a baby bag, but would rather win Wonder Glow Blocks from BRAINet, then there’s the Win A Puzzle promotion. All you have to do is write in to parenthots@thestar.com.my on “Using our imagination when playing games”. The last day to submit entries is Feb 20. To find out more and to read the terms of this promotion, go to ParenThots.
> ParenThots is The Star’s parenting portal. For more information, e-mail parenthots@thestar.com.my or surf to www.parenthots.com.
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