Metro

Saturday May 9, 2009

The mothers par excellence

By GEETHA KRISHNAN


BRINGING up one special child is certainly hard enough but having two such children to care for requires extraordinary efforts.

Only a super mother with genuine love, constant patience and steadfast determination is able to take such a challenge and do a good job.

Special duo: Homemaker Azlinda Ali with Nuramilia Mohd Izhar, 19, afflicted with tuberous sclerosis since birth and son Mohd Naim, 10, who suffers from a mitocondriarelated condition.

Homemaker Azlinda Ali, 44, is such a mother. Her daughter Nuramilia Mohd Izhar, 19, is afflicted with tuberous sclerosis since birth and son Mohd Naim, 10, suffers from a mitochondria-related condition.

“Tuberous sclerosis is a genetic disease that causes non-malignant tumours to grow in the brain and on other vital organs such as the kidneys, heart, eyes, lungs, and skin,” said Azlinda as she ruffled her daughter’s hair.

Nuramilia spends most of her time lying down and only responds to her family. She is also prone to seizures.

In Mohd Naim’s case, the lack of enzymes in his cells lead to the inability to control his motor functions.

Doting grandmother and greatgrandmother: Soundram Kanapathy, 83, surrounded by (clockwise from top ) son K. Subramaniam, 63, daughter K. Pushpa Valli, 57, grandson A. Deva Kumar, 35, granddaughter A. Kasturi, grandson’s fiancee P. Shabnam, 30 and daughter-in-law R. Menaga, 52.

Her children require special care for life but Azlinda, who quit her job as an administrator seven years ago, is the epitome of a true loving mother with absolute patience.

Despite what many will consider to be a burdensome life bondage, the plucky Azlinda does not dwell on the past but looks to the future with courage and boldness.

Her love for her two children is certainly inspirational.

It is Monday and Azlinda is with her children at the Pusat Kanak-kanak Istimewa Hulu Langat in Kajang, Selangor, for Naim’s schooling.

She also takes them to the centre on Thursdays and spends the rest of the week at home, caring for her children full-time.

No obstacle for them: Deaf couple Akira Chua, 35 and Minori Loo, 33 with 17-monthold Emmanuel Chua who may also be deaf.

Azlinda has two other children, Mohd Kamal, 16, and Mohd Amin, 13, who help out with the care-giving.

“When I became pregnant again after having Nuramilia, the gynaecologist was concerned that I might have another special child. But I believe children are a gift from God,” Azlinda said.

“My faith, my husband’s unwavering support and the love for my children keeps me going. I am also thankful that their condition isn’t as bad as some of the cases I’ve seen at hospitals,” she said.

Mother’s Day for Azlinda will be spent the best way, cherishing every moment in the company of her beloved family.

Meanwhile, becoming a new mother means the biggest challenge Minori Loo, 33, is facing is the inability to hear her son Emmanuel Chua wheezing.

Loo was born deaf and has to rely on her hearing in-laws whom she lives with to alert her of her 17-month-old son’s condition. Her husband Akira Chua, 35, is also deaf.

“Emmanuel has been down with colds these past few months. It took time trying to communicate with the doctor by writing everything down so now we take my mother-in-law along,” Loo said with signs through an interpreter.

Loo and Chua met when they joined the YMCA Deaf Club in Brickfields, Kuala Lumpur. Both hold regular jobs as a clerk and interior designer respectively. The loving couple also have deaf siblings.

“To me, being deaf is not an obstacle. We suspect Emmanuel is also deaf as he doesn’t respond to noise but we need him to get well so tests can be done,” Loo said.

“If he is indeed deaf, then we will communicate with him through sign language. Now, he usually asks for his shoes or milk by using hand signs,” she said as she gently coaxed Emmanuel to say “I love you” by tapping his hand on his lips.

The signs are indeed there. The background noise of drum practice at the YMCA on Monday night was deafening but little Emmanuel remained unperturbed as he explored the Toy Library at the Children’s Centre.

Like any new mother, Loo is keen on picking up childcare tips by browsing books on parenting. She is also teaching little Emmanuel to read so that he can have a headstart.

“Sure, there are challenges but I take it in stride. Everyone has problems to deal with and it is no different with us,” Loo said.

For Mother’s Day, Chua plans to treat Loo to a Japanese lunch, her favourite.

At 83, Soundram Kanapathy is endearing, fun to be with and loves reading ghost stories.

The great-grandmother is adored by all her family members, including her eight children aged between 63 and 48, who diligently seek her advice on everything.

Soundram obviously has many interesting tales to tell, having lived through the Japanese Occupation of Malaya during the World War II, the 1948 Malayan Union fiasco, the 12-year Emergency during the struggle against the communists from 1948 and, of course, the negotiation for Merdeka in the late 1950s.

A book could also be written about her own colourful interesting life.

Soundram was born to a Chinese family in 1926 and given away for adoption to another Chinese family where she was named Koo Sow Lin. As the only child, she led a privileged and pampered life.

“The name Soundram was given to me by my grandmother-in-law when I married my late husband. She insisted that I take on an Indian name, learn Tamil and study the traditions and customs so I could fit in,” she said.

“My grandmother-in-law was extremely strict to the point where I wasn’t allowed to go out with my husband and had to bathe early at the well before the male members in the family got up,” Soundram recalled with a grin.

Asked about her romance, she said: “My husband and I were working together at the then Lido Theatre in Brickfields. I had many friends but he won me over.”

Her daughter, K. Pushpa Valli, 57, said her mother sacrificed a good life just to be with her husband.

“It got to a point where she was no longer allowed to wear skirts and pants but only sarongs, blouses and sarees. She could not cut her hair too and she hasn’t till today,” Pushpa said.

“Through the years, my mother also learnt to make delicious Indian dishes like Chicken Curry and Potato Peratal,” she said.

Pushpa’s daughter A. Kasturi, 24, and her son’s fiancee P. Shabnam, 30, nodded enthusiastically in agreement, obviously loving their grandmother’s cooking.

“Patti (Indian for grandmother) can also haggle in Cantonese for better prices at the market,” Kasturi said.

As with previous years, a surprise is being planned for Soundram for Mother’s Day.

And to all mothers out there, especially the single mums who are struggling to give their children the best in life, StarMetro wishes you all a very happy Mother’s Day.

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