Friday January 19, 2007

Too busy for love, too few to wed

WHY NOT?
By WONG SAI WAN

IN the past month, the findings of two surveys sent shivers down the spine of many men and women, mums and dads, and even bosses.

If the figures are to be believed, then the authorities had better act fast before there is a severe imbalance in the country.

Such inequality is not good for Malaysia and could ruin all plans that are in place to ensure sustainable development well past the time Malaysia attains developed nation status in 2020.

What am I rambling about? Gender imbalance.

Firstly, there are the findings of a study by Wanita MCA that 70% of all those joining the workforce as professionals are women.

This is not surprising because 60% of all students in public universities in the country are women.

Then there is the projection of the country’s male-female ratio. Another survey found that by 2020, 53% of the global population would be males. Yes, this means there will be more guys than gals in the future. In Malaysia, at present, males make up 49.1% of the population.

These two findings were the topic of discussion when three of us sat down for coffee at a shopping centre.

I listened attentively to the discussion between my two 30-something women friends who are no married.

These ladies, whom I shall not name out of fear for my personal safety, were quite frank in discussing the problem.

H said that even if the survey results were inaccurate, young single women today faced a serious problem when it came to finding a prospective husband.

“Fifty per cent of all available men are married or spoken for. Another 30% are gay and a further 10% are jerks.

“This means that all of us single women are running around trying to attract only 10%. We have so little choice,” moaned H, much to my amusement.

However, my laughter did not leave my lips when I saw the killer stares from both the women. It was a serious and sensitive subject.

C quickly agreed with H, saying that in the business they were in, they hardly had a chance to meet “good guys”.

The girls are all professionals and holding managerial posts. One is in a multi-national company and the other in a local listed corporation.

(A qualifier at this stage is needed. The two of them are very attractive and their single status has always puzzled me.)

“I start work at 8am and don’t finish till about 8 or 9pm. So the only way I will meet any guy is through work.

“In our trade (retail) most of the guys are TEAPOTS!” said C while arching her wrist to mimic the snout of a teapot.

Without trying to sound homophobic (which I am NOT), the term teapot refers to gay males who are effeminate. The snout of the teapot looks like the limp wrist that is commonly associated with men of such sexual persuasion.

H then jumped in, probably realising that I was male and heterosexual, saying that they were not desperate for a partner, as they were happily single.

The two girls went to great pains to explain to me that this subject of “not enough good guys available” was the rave topic among women of their age.

I teased them by asking them to join the MCA Cupid Club set up with women like them in mind.

“Cheh! We will only find desperate men there,” the two girls said almost in unison.

C explained that her biggest fear was meeting a guy who might turn out to be a weirdo with a perverse sexual orientation.

Thinking back, I felt that it was quite bold for the two to be so frank with me especially since we were talking quite loudly at a Starbucks outlet.

Those at the other tables must have overheard our conversation.

On Monday, H sent me an e-mail entitled “Why ladies today are still single”.

It was a funny piece, origin unknown, that must have been forwarded many times around. But it described very aptly our conversation that day.

I reproduce it here:

Why ladies today are still single:

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don’t think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

Now, who the hell understands men?

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.

Teasing H with a reply, I asked her which category I fell into.

She promptly replied “No 10”.

There is no intention here to reinforce the old-fashioned thinking and apply pressure on everyone to get married hastily before they get too old but if C and H are typical of the young ladies, then something needs to be done.

I dread to think we may one day have to go the way of Singapore where the government organises lonely heart clubs for the single guys and girls to meet. In our daily pursuit of material gain, we sometimes tend to forget the need to take time off to meet other people outside our working life.

So to the somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual men, make the first move.

Forty-something Wong Sai Wan, who denies being too slow, is our Senior News Editor.

News Poll

Latest Jobs from Star-Jobs

Latest from StarProperty