Monday May 13, 2013

Post-election highs and lows

ONE MAN'S MEAT
BY PHILIP GOLINGAI

After GE13, some were in denial. Some were gloating. Some were shocked. Some were angry. Some were depressed and some were racist.

RACIAL tension kicked up a notch on Tuesday. In the morning, Twitter buzzed with Utusan Malaysia’s frontpage asking: “What Else Chinese Want?”.

In the afternoon, police arrested two bloggers after reports were lodged that their social media postings fuelled racial sentiments.

At night, I surfed Facebook. It was politics as usual.

Some were adamant they made the right choice in GE13.

Some were regretting voting for the candidate they voted for.

Some were frustrated as they thought their votes were stolen.

Some were in denial. Some were gloating. Some were shocked. Some were angry. Some were depressed. Some were racist.

Two days after the intense #GE13, emotions were still very raw.

One Facebook posting that I totally agree with was that of Nick Liew Kok Yeang.

He posted: “Sometimes I wish I never discovered Facebook. Seeing my fellow Malaysian brothers n sisters writing racist posting makes me kinda giving up hope on humanity.”

I’m not sure which postings he was referring to.

For me, I felt down watching videos of alleged phantom voters allegedly caught voting on May 5.

I also felt down watching videos of Malaysians accusing other Malay-sians that they were not Malaysians because they did not look like a Malaysian.

It seems on polling day, if you didn’t look like a Malaysian, you are a phantom voter.

Erm, how does a Malaysian actually look like?

A YouTube video showed four Malaysians who were clones of Shah Rukh Khan scolding several election “vigilantes” because they thought the men, waiting in line to vote, were not Malaysians.

“ASK HIM TO APOLOGISE! WHAT NONSENSE IS THIS?” shouted a furious Shah Rukh Khan look-alike to the “station master” of an overzealous Jackie Chan look-alike tasked to hunt down alleged phantom voters.

“He already apologised,” said the station master.

“WE HAVE BEEN LIVING IN KAMPUNG CHEMPAKA FOR YEARS YOU KNOW! WE ALSO WANT CHANGE BUT THIS IS NOT THE WAY!” Shah Rukh Khan clone shouted.

Probably this is how the election vigilantes’ minds work: The Shah Rukh Khan clones were more handsome than the average Malaysian man therefore they can’t be Malaysians but “Bangladeshi”.

Down, at 20 minutes past midnight, I fired up a Paris Hilton music video – “Stars Are Blind”.

I shared the video via Twitter with the message: “a bit of Paris Hilton to ease the tension.”

I also tweeted part of the lyrics. “Even though the gods are crazy. Even though the stars are blind. If you show me real love baby. I’ll show you mine.”

Yes, the lyrics are mindless.

What does “if you show me real love baby. I’ll show you mine.” actually mean?

However, when I’m down, that music video has never failed to pick me up.

The song, which was launched in 2006, is so catchy. And the music video is so breezy.

Paris Hilton is such an eye candy. In the video, she bends at the right angle. She has a way of leaning on a coconut tree that makes you want to pluck a coconut and drink its juice to cool yourself.

Nothing beats a video of Miss Hilton in various stages of undress.

I do think Paris Hilton can halt World War III with a wink of her doe eyes. Or cure post-GE13 blues.

Here are some of the responses I got on Twitter after I posted the “Stars Are Blind” music video.

Sivan John (@SivanJohn) tweeted: “Never expected that in 2013 someone is still listening to that song :) Catchy tune!”

Queen Jerine (@queenjerine): “omg! That’s hot! I totally love Paris! You too? Omg we can be bff!”

Desiree (@desi1able): “Hahaha great tweet from Philip Golingai”

Cina (@YouTiup): “when i see the name paris hilton i have images of jho low in my head.”

Lara Luka (@MyNamaIsLara): “Come to mama.”

Zayn Malik (@AzarMaembong): “i prefer to nothing in this world and turn it up from paris hilton songs.”

I replied: “mindless!!!”

Zayn Malik: “lol, why? You only like stars are blind? I love the music video, that guy in the mv quite hot right? Hahaha.”

Joanne Oo (@dorkymanjahotti): “post GE13 blues?”

Brandon Patrick (@brandon_pat91): “haha i think they should play this song during next parliament sitting to diffuse tension.”

The Paris Hilton music video elicited mindless tweets between down but not out Nick, who is also my Twitter friend, and other tweeters.

We had an orgy of fun on Twitter.

That night a song I was tempted to tweet was, Will you still love me tomorrow?

I love the Amy Winehouse version just because it was sung by the tragic Amy Winehouse.

Here’s part of the lyrics: “Is this a lasting treasure. Or just a moment’s pleasure? Can I believe the magic of your sighs? Will you still love me tomorrow?”

Some will find out that for some politicians the 15 days #GE13 campaign period was just a one night stand with voters.

News

Monday May 13, 2013

Post-election highs and lows

ONE MAN'S MEATBY PHILIP GOLINGAI

ONE MAN'S MEAT
BY PHILIP GOLINGAI