Stigma exists: Most couples choose not to create prenuptial agreements because society judges them as less family-oriented. — AFP
Actor Ari Wibowo’s recent divorce prompted online discussions about prenuptial agreements in Indonesia.
The legal proceedings between the actor, who made his name in the 1980s and 1990s, and his soon-to-be ex-wife have publicly included back-and-forths about the division of their wealth.
Financial “experts”, accredited and self-ascribed, and Instagram influencers have been the most vocal in sharing their opinions, with many promoting the division of assets among married couples. The discourse is challenging for many Indonesians, as the country’s culture still prioritises familiality and trust, especially within the institution of marriage.
Prenuptial agreements, for many, suggest a severe lack of confidence going into a marriage.
“I was afraid that my partner and their family would be offended [if we brought up prenups],” said Lita, an entrepreneur who chose not to disclose her real name.
“However, my family insisted on having separate wealth. Fortunately, I complied.” Lita said prenuptial agreements were still socially unacceptable in Indonesia. Negative comments claiming that she did not trust her then-husband surfaced long before she agreed that her wealth should be separated before her marriage nine years ago.
She adds, “Over time, divorce proceedings have always revolved around marital property.”
The 37-year-old believes it is beneficial for married couples to separate their finances.
Hence, individuals can survive financially during unfavourable circumstances, such as divorce, corruption, or bankruptcy.
Lita reveals that her previous husband did not have a stable job during their marriage, resulting in unpredictable income.
She says she was partially financially independent from her ex-husband then, and raising a five-year-old boy as a single mother was not easy.
Lita describes her situation at the time as “mentally and emotionally draining.”
Taboo topic
Patrick Sebastian, a family law practitioner based in Jakarta, observes that most Indonesian couples rarely even heard of prenuptials.
He adds that most couples choose not to create prenuptial agreements before marriage because society judges them as less family-oriented.
“Indonesia places great importance on family relations, so when couples try to separate their wealth before marriage, most will end up judged by their future in-laws,” the 25-year-old says.
Patrick emphasises that prenuptial agreements still need to be the standard for engaged couples in the country. Bringing it up in a conversation is forbidden because many assume untrusting teams get into prenuptial agreements.
Christian Eka, an entrepreneur based in Tangerang, is a Gen Zer who got into trouble after bringing up a prenuptial agreement with his parents. Some of his relatives believe a married person should not separate their assets.
“They think we couldn’t commit to our partner and didn’t think about a long-term relationship,” Christian says.
Moreover, he further explains that his family sees his decision as a lack of unity and a tendency toward individualism which they believe can hinder a couple’s ability to face a hurdle together.
“Most of our relatives think we’re too young to decide where our lives go, and we share that opinion. But as a pair, we will work through it,” the 24-year-old Tangerang resident says.
However, Patrick also understands the concept of family bonds, and some couples choose not to separate their accounts to have a sense of “shared-ness”.
Yet, Patrick adds that more people are aware of a prenuptial agreement from word-of-mouth.
Benefits
Patrick believes the benefits of doing a prenuptial agreement outweigh the drawbacks, even if there is the possibility of conflict between couples and their families of origin. He says married couples should not be concerned about deprivation by entering into prenuptial agreements because they can earn considerable tax benefits that add to significant savings over time.
Furthermore, keeping financial problems, such as debt, out of the court’s eyes can help to simplify divorce or legal separation proceedings.
Patrick also emphasised the significance of emergency savings, which could be challenging to attain when merging assets.
Separating assets allows each partner to feel financially secure and independent. Christian and his wife chose to divide their assets due to legal worries over the business he co-founded.
“At least when whatever bad situations happen in the future, my wife and future children have something to survive,” Christian says. “If my company needs funding from investors or banks, I want to avoid my wife’s name being associated with any potential issues when the company runs into problems in the future,” he adds.
While prenuptial agreements have become more commonly discussed in recent years, it leaves more written material exploring the impact of financial separation or union on the health of a couple’s relationship in Indonesia.
Roro Ningrum, a family counsellor based in Malang, East Java, emphasises the importance of creating a prenuptial agreement, especially in preparing for the psychological aftermath of a potential marital crisis.
She points out that having a separation agreement can relieve both spouses from the hassle of discussing the partition of marital property when facing a divorce.
“In one of the cases I handled, a woman attempted to sell property acquired during her marriage but ran into difficulties because her husband had remarried and relocated to another area.
As a result, it became a mental burden,” Roro says. However, it is undeniable that couples’ financial difficulties contribute to divorce cases in Indonesia.
Cause of divorce
The National Commission on Violence Against Women’s website reported that divorce cases rose by 54% from 2020 to 2021 (291,677 to 447,743). The report further indicated that a breakdown in communication and dispute resolution remains a crucial issue in relationships. There were approximately 279,205 couples divorced owing to continual arguments. While 113,343 divorced due to the necessity of financial stability in a marriage.
Patrick says people should consider the potential benefits of a prenuptial agreement more than the opinions of others. He suggests that couples must be aware of such agreements’ advantages, which can provide financial security and peace of mind when facing unexpected situations. Separate accounts can also offer tax advantages to some couples.
A different account is advantageous for people in lower socioeconomic classes who will otherwise pay more taxes if they use a joint account.
Individual circumstances and preferences and understanding potential benefits and drawbacks should guide the decision to integrate or segregate funds.
“If there is separate property, the tax identification numbers (NPWP) will also be separate, and they benefit from having separate NPWPs.
“Because there is a non-taxable income level of 54 million rupiah, if the husband and wife work, for example, at a supermarket, they would not be subject to tax,” Patrick explains, highlighting the advantages of having a prenuptial agreement.
“The extra remaining savings from the wage can be used to save up for their children’s education, pay off a mortgage, or meet other household needs,” Patrick adds.
Roro said another hurdle in educating the general public about prenuptial agreements mainly comes from the gap between cultural differences and differing levels of intellectual activity that might lead to disagreements.
“If a family member has a better understanding of the law, it won’t be difficult to understand the agreement’s benefits. But when it’s not, it will be hard because people think the spouse doesn’t want to share their wealth,” Roro says.
She further highlights that a couple’s happiness is decided or measured by their level of commitment rather than their wealth.
Roro shares that prenuptials only provide security and financial stability for unforeseen circumstances (in the future) such as divorce or bankruptcy.
“It all depends on how committed a couple is to each other. Even if they have a prenuptial agreement, no one could predict the future, but having one [prenuptial agreement] can provide protection financially,” Roro says.
Either way, having a prenuptial or not, couples need to learn before embarking on their journey together. The option of doing a prenuptial agreement relies solely on personal preferences and circumstances, despite the financial benefits that it offers.
“At the end of the day, we have decided and committed to be one. It was a commitment that we once vowed together, and having a prenuptial agreement is purely done to avoid any unprecedented financial and legal issues,” Christian says. “We’ve vowed to be husband and wife, and we shall tackle the challenge in our marriage together,” he said. — The Jakarta Post/ANN
