Parental stress can also affect the relationship between children and their parents. - Photo: Pexel/Ketut Subiyanto
JAKARTA: It was a busy afternoon for Raditya Nugroho on Tuesday (July 30) as he had to take his four-year-old daughter to ballet practice while also doing some remote work as a writer at a media company in Jakarta.
But, despite the chaos, he managed to spare some time for The Jakarta Post to share about his decision to only have one kid, a rising trend among young parents in the capital known as the “one-and-done” movement.
“Initially, the thought came because my wife and I were committed to raising our child without the help from our parents or caregivers since we both could work remotely,” he explained.
Work-from-home or work-from-anywhere has become common following the Covid-19 pandemic, allowing parents to work and look after their offspring at the same time.
“But, with the heavier workload that we have now [in the new-normal era], it’s just not feasible to have more kids,” said Raditya, who asked to use a pseudonym because the issue was quite sensitive in Indonesian society, where it is a common belief that more kids will bring more fortune to families.
As his daughter grew up and Raditya began to plan for her education and future well-being, the decision to have only one child grew firmer.
The 33-year-old revealed that getting a quality education in Jakarta was no easy or cheap feat, noting that free state schools could not cater to the growing need for young individuals who could compete globally.
Such a situation, therefore, forced certain parents, including Raditya, to lean toward private schools, some of which provide international standardized curriculums.
“We have set our own standards for education [...] that not only focuses on basic subjects like science or social studies, but also on soft skills such as public speaking that, based on my experience, are also useful [in real life],” he went on.
For all these reasons, Raditya planned to enroll his daughter in a private preschool that follows the Finnish curriculum, despite having to spend around Rp 13 million (US$800) upon entry and Rp 2 million on monthly tuition.
The enrollment fee for elementary and secondary schools managed by a similar foundation could reach up to Rp 30 million and 50 million, respectively.
“Saving money from my current salary is barely enough to cover our daughter’s future education costs, therefore I have to find another revenue stream.
"Given this situation, how can we consider having more children?”
The string of challenges faced by Jakartans today – from having limited space to live, worsening air pollution and the threat of land subsistence to traffic congestion – have further prompted young couples to think twice about having more than one child, or having any offspring at all.
This phenomenon is reflected in Statistics Indonesia’s (BPS) latest data, which show that the city has the lowest total fertility rate (TFR) or total births per woman of all regions in the country.
Jakarta’s TFR for 2020 stood at 1.75, or lower than the 2.1 ideal rate to achieve a balanced population growth.
Meanwhile, the province recording the highest figure, at 2.79, was East Nusa Tenggara (NTT).
A private employee in West Jakarta, Gladis Wijaya, not her real name, admitted that she and her husband were not ready to raise a child amid the city’s chaotic urban sprawl, in addition to their hectic work schedules and other reasons including financial problems.
“We have concerns about the well-being of our future children since we live in Jakarta, which is not really habitable.
"[I don’t want] them being exposed to pollution and traffic jams from a very young age, not to mention that the city has insufficient green spaces,” Gladis said.
Although being child-free was a deliberate choice made by the couple since their wedding ceremony in 2020, Gladis said it was not easy to open up to their extended family in Sumatra.
“Our parents only know that God has yet to give us children.
"We choose not to let them know [the real reason] as they might lecture us and challenge our decision, especially because they’ve never lived in Jakarta and can’t relate to our struggles living here”.
Still, Gladis said she and her partner might change their minds in the future if they felt mentally prepared, had enough savings and had secured an ideal home to live in.
University of Indonesia social analyst Devie Rahmawati said that the higher standard of living in megacities like Jakarta compared with other cities had led more couples to be extra careful in ensuring their families’ well-being.
“Besides, the current generation also faces more social pressure amid the increasing use of social media.
"Even before they talk about having children, there are already certain social standards on how weddings should be celebrated,” Devie told the Post on Tuesday.
Parents of one-year-old Z, Amanda Natalia (35) and her husband Alvian Dirgantara, who requested to use pseudonyms as well, decided to follow the one-and-done trend amid more heated competition in the packed city, and the rising social issues that put pressure on children including bullying.
“Now we are not competing with humans alone, but also technology like AI,” Amanda said.
“So, the challenge for my child’s generation is not how to be smarter, but to be wiser.
"In that sense, parents have a responsibility to nurture self-awareness and mental health at home, making it difficult for us to focus if we have more than one kid”.
Alvian, meanwhile, admitted that he still had personal goals that could get postponed should they decide to have another child.
“Apart from that, I also want to have more [quality] time with my wife not only as a co-parent but as a lover.” - The Jakarta Post/ANN
