A still from a viral Chinese social media video of a woman being tied to a lamppost by men during a Chinese wedding hazing ritual. - Weibo
BEIJING: Respecting traditions is important at a Chinese wedding.
There are many that couples can engage in, from tea ceremonies to a hair combing custom that symbolises the transition into adulthood.
Games are also an important part of Chinese weddings around the world.
Chuangmen, or door games, are born out of the idea that a bride is a prized daughter who will not be let go of easily.
According to Hong Kong wedding platform Bride and Breakfast, the challenges are usually organised by the bridesmaids and involve the groom completing tasks in order to “claim” his bride.
One game called Pass the Seaweed involves the groom and groomsmen standing in line and passing a square of seaweed between them using only their mouths.
Similarly, in Pass it On, the groom and groomsmen attempt to pass an orange or apple between them using only their chins.
Another game involves the groom doing a limbo dance under a piece of string or wood, the act symbolising just how far he will bend over for his beloved bride.
For the game Four Flavours of Marriage, the groom must eat or drink something sweet, sour, bitter, or spicy – the flavours representing the many facets of marriage.
In No Money, No Honey, the bridesmaids hold the bride hostage until the groom gives them a sufficient number of red envelopes containing money, while the game Q&A tests the grooms’ knowledge of his bride. For every wrong answer he must do some sit- ups.
The games are silly but that is the point. It is all about having wholesome fun.
One less refined ritual that receives publicity for all the wrong reasons is wedding hazing – when practical jokes are played on the bride, groom and bridesmaids.
More common in rural parts of China, naohun – which literally translates as “making turbulence at a wedding” – can show friendship and create a jovial atmosphere when done in a measured way.
But extreme hazing incidents over the years have raised concerns that they cross the line between cultural tradition and abuse. Some incidents have even been sexual in nature.
Hazing recently made headlines when a video of a woman in traditional wedding attire being taped to a telephone pole by a group of men went viral. In the video, her cries for help went ignored by bystanders.
Filmed in Shanxi province in northern China, the video triggered anger online.
“Completely disrespectful to women,” wrote one commenter on a YouTube video of the incident.
“This has become bullying,” wrote another.
In January 2023, another hazing incident lit up social media when a bride was pinned to the ground and piled upon by a group of burly men. Foam was then sprayed over her face.
It took place in Linyi, in Shandong province, eastern China.
The acts have raised the ire of Chinese authorities, who are trying to stamp out the practice – which they say reflects declining morality.
In 2021, authorities in Zouping, in Shandong province, banned “vulgar behaviour at weddings” while calling for the “reform of wedding traditions”.
The Dezhou Daily, a government-affiliated newspaper in Shandong province, recently wrote: “Vulgar wedding pranks are not customs, but rather a misinterpretation of customs [...] We call on all sectors of society to work together to say no to vulgar wedding pranks.”
When did wedding hazing start?
The custom of wedding hazing can be traced to the Han dynasty (206BC-AD220), but rituals were not always so vulgar or violent.
In the past, it was a way to break the ice between the bride and groom who, in those days, were often strangers until they met on their wedding day.
Hazing was a way to create a jovial atmosphere among couples and their extended families. It was originally practised to drive away evil spirits.
Extreme examples
Among the most extreme hazing incidents documented was one in which a man was forced to strip down to his underwear and wear stockings or a bra, a man stripped almost naked and covered with eggs and beaten, and man who had firecrackers taped to his body.
There are also cases of bridesmaids being groped and sprayed with fire extinguishers.
Critics say some acts constitute sexual harassment and assault – and there are videos online that have captured some.
In one, the drunken father of the groom embraces his new daughter-in-law and forcibly kisses her on the lips on stage.
In 2017 a groom in Shandong was left unconscious after hitting his head on the pavement when his wedding party friends tossed him up and down as part of a hazing prank.
In 2018, a groom sued his entourage after being hit by a car as he ran away from his tormentors, resulting in a fractured skull and internal bleeding. He spent two weeks in hospital.
In a pre-wedding prank, they had tied the groom to a pole, egged him, beaten him with bamboo and smeared him with ink before he fled into heavy traffic.
“I was so tortured on my wedding day that I got angry. They chased me, and I could barely see anything because there was ink all over,” the man was quoted as saying.
In another video taken in Hunan province, in southern China, a groom is covered in deep cuts after being lashed by guests. The viral footage then shows the laughing guests rubbing salt into his wounds.
In popular culture
The 2022 television series The Story of Xing Fu, directed by Zheng Xiaolong (also known for his hit drama Empresses in the Palace), takes on the subject of hazing.
The drama, which is set in a rural village, stars Zhao Liying as the protagonist. She witnesses her younger sister being indecently assaulted by a group of villagers during a wedding hazing. The 40-episode series follows her fight for justice against some influential members of the village. - South China Morning Post
