The 'Charmed' star was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015. The cancer had spread to her spine, brain and bones. Photo: TNS
Shannen Doherty was vulnerable and candid in a new, wide-ranging conversation about death, fear and funeral planning.
The Beverly Hills, 90210 star invited best friend Chris Cortazzo, whom she described as her "security blanket," to join her on the Let's Be Clear podcast to dig deep into facing death head-on, and with humor, despite her fears.
Doherty was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015. She had a mastectomy, underwent chemotherapy and radiation and was in remission by 2017.
But in February 2020, the Charmed actor revealed that the disease had returned and metastasised, spreading into her spine.
Last summer, she shared that the cancer had spread to her brain, requiring surgery and more radiation treatment, and in November, Doherty revealed that the disease had spread to her bones.
While the actor has been frank about her nearly decadelong cancer struggle, sharing glimpses into the reality of the disease through interviews, on talk shows and via social media, she was especially forthcoming while speaking with Cortazzo.
She revealed that although she has been heralded for her strength in facing her illness, there are moments where she locks herself in the closet and cries, and that she is scared of the process of dying.
"I 100% have those moments where I feel all of it and I wish for something different. ... My biggest thing is I just don't want to die too soon because I have a lot to accomplish. So that weighs heavy on my brain of like, I haven't raised enough money for cancer."
Doherty also said that when she was about to undergo brain surgery, she revisited her will and named Cortazzo as executor of her trust, and thought seriously about what she envisioned for her funeral when that day comes.
"It made me start thinking about who would show up to (my funeral). And there's a lot of people that I think would show up, that I don't want there.
"Because the reasons for showing up aren't necessarily the best reasons, like they don't really like me," she continued, noting that she abhors "fakeness."
"They have their reasons and good for them. But they don't actually really like me enough to show up at my funeral, but they will because it's the politically correct thing to do and they don't want to look bad. And so I kind of want to take that pressure off of them. And I want my funeral to be like a lovefest."
As far as a list of guests that did and didn't make the cut, Doherty said the list of people she wants there is the better list.
"I can't give you a list of who I don't want, because that's way too long."
"I don't mind my fans showing up," she added. "Those are the people who have supported me my entire life and my career. And I love them."
While Doherty and Cortazzo acknowledged their conversation might be perceived as morbid or weird, Doherty said she finds it reassuring, and funny.
"I like being funny about certain situations, especially when they're dire." – Los Angeles Times
