Going through pregnancy with ADHD: A new mother shares her experience

Raja Alisya (right) with her mother-in-law Ariza Kamarudin (far left) and grandmother-in-law Zariah Mahamud who took great care of her and her baby girl Marissa, during confinement. Photo: Raja Alisya Raja Fajar

When Raja Alisya Raja Fajar first found out she was pregnant, she had many concerns.

Firstly, the 26-year-old, who got married in 2021 – during the pandemic, had been diagnosed with Adult Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) after the movement control order as changes in the environment had affected her in her daily life.

“I was taking medication for it, so my immediate concern was whether it was safe to continue since I was pregnant. Upon consultation with the psychiatrist, I was advised to stop the medication for the safety of the baby,” Raja Alisya recounts.

“Withdrawal from the medication was really rough for me the first week where I could barely get off my bed and was always tired.”

Raja Alisya at the hospital after the emergency C-section, accompanied by her husband Asyraf Noor Azizi. Photo: Raja Alisya Raja FajarRaja Alisya also went to the obstetrician and gynecologist for monthly checkups to monitor the progress of her pregnancy.

“For ladies above 25, we also need to do a glucose test twice during the pregnancy to check for gestational diabetes. And more so as my family has a history of diabetes even though I don’t have it,” she says.

“We then booked our hospital and ward for delivery at the 10th week of my pregnancy. It’s advisable for parents-to-be to book their preferred hospital as soon as they can or it may be fully booked during their delivery date,” she advises. “Never take things for granted.”

During her second trimester, Raja Alisya and her husband attended antenatal class to learn more about choices of pain relief during labour, breastfeeding, nutrients the baby needs, and other important information.

At the checkups, it’s important to discuss with your doctor on the birth options available and what’s most suitable for you, and to make enquiries regarding prerequisites and pricing too, she says.

“It’s important to be physically, mentally and financially prepared.”

Closer to the due date, during the third trimester, she had to go for checkups twice weekly. During the 35th week checkup at the hospital, Raja Alisya and her husband decided to follow the doctor’s advice to go for scheduled induced labour at the 39th week.

“This was to avoid meconium (earliest stool passed from fetus, usually happening while still in uterus) due to the fetus being ‘under stress’ from a decrease in blood and oxygen supply,” she explains.

Alisya's baby girl Marissa at seven days old, getting discharged from hospital after her birth. Photo: Raja Alisya Raja Fajar“However, after I was induced, my baby became horizontally breeched (positioned horizontally across the uterus, instead of vertically) and I had to go for an emergency C-section.

“There were complications and the specialist had to do a J incision to get her out.

“This will affect my future pregnancies because I can no longer go for a natural birth but will need a C-section again,” she says.

“But I don’t regret it... I’m glad that my baby is safe. Being equipped with all the knowledge about childbirth and pregnancy has helped me to prepare mentally and I didn’t have any fear of giving birth which I used to,” she adds.

Cherishing motherhood

Raja Alisya’s baby girl, Marissa Asyraf, was born in February and is now three months old.

“There isn’t much information online on how women with ADHD cope during pregnancy so I hope that sharing my experience can help others,” she says.

As first time parents, both my husband and I truly feel blessed to have our daughter.

She has been such a wonderful baby to take care of and unlike most people who warned us about sleepless nights, our baby sleeps throughout the night. And I’ve to wake her up to drink milk, she says.

Going out alone especially in a busy mall while pregnant or with a baby is difficult. It's not easy for people with wheelchairs or strollers and the lifts are always full, highlights Raja Alisya. Photo: Raja Alisya Raja Fajar“I feel really grateful because I didn’t have a good time during my pregnancy,” says Raja Alisya who had to quit her job because her symptoms were difficult to manage.

“I had morning sickness until the day I gave birth, where I would vomit after almost every meal. My HB (hemoglobin) also dropped during my pregnancy to the point I often had fainting spells, which made it very risky for me to be alone.

“It was so bad to the point where I had to sometimes use a wheelchair in shopping malls,” she reveals.

She adds that her confinement period was really tough too due to the complicated C-section.

“But both my family and my husband’s family took good care of me and I’m very grateful,” she says.

“Even though there are many challenges, we’re enjoying our first-time as parents with much support from our friends too.

“What’s important for us is to be able to spend as much time as possible with our baby because time will pass by really fast,” she adds.

‘Baby blues’

Raja Alisya and her husband Asyraf Noor Azizi, with their baby daughter Marissa, during Hari Raya. Photo: Raja Alisya Raja FajarOne of the challenges she faced was “baby blues”.

“I had baby blues and cried a lot due to the hormonal changes I was going through. It’s easy for this to turn into postpartum depression if not treated properly.

“Being aware of what baby blues is and communicating with each other helped my husband and I cope with it,” she says.

One thing most new parents go through is trying to find the reason or answer to their baby’s crying, she says.

“We’ve to figure out if it’s a cry for milk, discomfort, sleep, diaper change or just attention. But once we’ve figured it out, things became smoother for us,” she adds.

Raja Alisya says that it’s important to “never compare yourself or your baby” to others because “everyone progresses at a different rate”.

If there are things that you’re unsure of, it’s always best to ask the doctor or certified experts.

“Every baby is different and many will share advice so follow what you believe is best and works for your baby.

“There might be people who are intrusive which may make you feel stressed. But at the end of the day, trust your maternal instinct,” she concludes.