Wanting to look good at whatever age is not self-indulgent but living with flourish. It is a very earnest form of self-appreciation. Photo: 123rf.com
Women's pursuits and passions are hard to fathom.
Every once in a while, I forsake restraint in pursuit of glamour in shopping malls. That which doesn’t kill me, allows me to shop with fire in my belly.
I normally gravitate towards wisdom, until I am at a boutique. Then I spend a criminal amount of time in the fitting room. There, I perform an act of loyalty to self-care, under the glare of fluorescent lights and before a full-length mirror.
By the time women enter their sixth decade, they become their own cheerleader to looking good. This is a time when our confidence grows and we could blatantly ignore public opinion.
It’s a time to make things happen (go shopping), nurture a sense of humour, and push fears aside. Ageing is also freeing the self through jettisoning the weight of self-doubts: Anxieties, regrets and self-consciousness.
Now back in the fitting room, I feel a wave of optimism course through me as I slip on a dress which is oozing slinky elegance over my head. It starts in the pit of my stomach and flows into my arms and fingertips which I will later use to type in the pin number of my credit card.
I have my youngest daughter, Laura, with me in the fitting room. She is my default shopping companion while Husband is somewhere in a hardware store or looking at the latest models of TV in the electrical goods department. Anyway what I need is an honest opinion, and I trust Laura to give me her usual bracing, unflinching female gaze.
“This dress is so-o-o you, Mum,” comes the verdict.
As soon as those words of exhortation leave her mouth, the deal is sealed, the decision made, and any self-doubt vanished. I almost skip to the cashier’s.
There’s a spring in my steps, a flush to my face, and a swag in my gait. By the time I get to call the dress my own, my inner light is glowing. Laura takes a snapshot of me holding my bag of glory and posing with a satisfied grin.
Wanting to look good at whatever age is not self-indulgent but living with flourish. It is a very earnest form of self-appreciation, with a cheeky sense of humour.
My cavalier attitude towards shopping is innate as I am genetically scripted to shop. My mother had instilled in me the importance of grooming since I was young. I remember sitting patiently near her as she sewed pretty frocks for me using her trusty hand-treadle sewing machine. As soon as she had finished sewing one, I would pit on her handiwork and parade it for her to see.
So here I am, in my swinging 60s, still embroiled in the enchantment of feminine glamour. I’ve been a sucker for clothes for many a year, and don’t intend to retire from sartorial endeavours. I strive to keep my body in shape and the spirit up. It takes innate style to recognise one great dress, and inner confidence to carry middle-age fantasies with panache.
A decisive sense of style is borne after charting years of shopping mileage. I have learnt to shop selectively and mindfully for a few beautiful items of quality that can last a long time. It takes a certain boldness to dress simply but with refined elegance.
My dressing style is of the English country look with gathers, flounces, laces and broderie anglaise (English embroidery) ruling supreme. In the 1990s, the Laura Ashley boutique at One Utama shopping mall, Petaling Jaya, was my stamping ground. The style has never left my psyche. I simply love the whimsical, vintage look.
When you boil your style down to the marrow, you have the classic edge of essence plus refinement. The idea is to flaunt one’s natural style in an unobtrusive, discreet manner that only those who know you well will discern and appreciate.
There is no such thing as guilty pleasure when it comes to shopping for clothes if you ask me. Guilt just isn’t in the air. Every woman deserves a chance to have joy, and to enjoy the best version of themselves.
With a little sense and ingenuity, you can buy a beautiful dress without inflicting financial injury on yourself. I shop in that spirit: What’s comfortable, what speaks to my heart, and what I can afford.
Impulse buying is not without its merits. This happens when I am outstation or overseas – something catches my attention, and my gut-level intuition nudges me to go for it. I touch it, and voila! I know I have to bring it home. Since I won’t be passing that way again, I quickly acquire my serendipitous find, leaving no avenue for regrets. And the purchase makes me feel so replete and relaxed during my journey home.
Sometimes it is the ambience of the merry mall that holds me in its thrall. The aroma of new merchandise, the lively throng of weekend shoppers, and the enticing variety of restaurants and cafes, all conspire to make it easier to part with money.
The vibrancy in a shopping mall is contagious especially during festive seasons. Maybe it is just me but these things keep me deliriously happy, especially when I top it off with white coffee in a cosy cafe.
However, there is always that threshold moment when you have to decide quickly whether to buy or forever live with desires. And don’t we all fall prey to retail charm in a reckless moment, but at other times are prudent and cautious?
As for me, I pursue shopping like I would love – with sustained interest and giggly exhilaration. Both give me incredible joy, and both sometimes tip me towards self-admonition. But my deep love for beautiful things, and keen sense of aesthetics, keep me going.
These are the simple things that make life sweet.
Mary Eu is a retiree who has a passion for writing. When she is not prowling the shopping mall looking for a dress to scream into, she can be seen reading, writing or home decorating.
