Individuals should take time to reconnect with themselves and with people whose connections to them matter. — 123rf.com
THROUGH technology, a huge chunk of modern life has been automated, saving humans hours daily from traditionally time-consuming and tedious chores. The washing machine does your laundry, food can be sent to your doorstep and a ride to anywhere is on-demand.
And yet even with huge time-saving opportunities, it’s still hard to find space to reconnect and build meaningful bonds.
Whether it is connecting with yourself with an hour of exercise, spending time playing with your children, chatting with your parents or meeting close friends, the phrase “I don’t have time” is still prevalent, no matter how computerised life gets.
DobiQueen co-founder Nini Tan says the expectation of prompt responses has increased significantly and this has caused distractions.
“The demand for near-immediate replies at work has caused our bodies to be present with our families, but our minds are engaged in work. Our phones and gadgets have encroached into our family, friends and even personal space.”
Tan says the demands for immediate response, especially about work, has created distractions in reconnection. — Photos: DobiQueen
Tan says this is why people still find it hard to reconnect with their loved ones and themselves.
“Technology isn’t a problem but the main issue is how to create distraction-less mental time and space to facilitate quality communication,” she says.
Marriage and family therapist Alycia Lum says through her work with her clients, she sees that the only way to reconnect with others is when one is connected with oneself.
“We cannot give anything meaningful when we are empty. So it’s important to be aware of our stress levels and manage it effectively, to slow down and create space to understand our own thoughts, emotions and desires,” says Lum.
She says it’s vital that people reevaluate their priorities and realign their time and energy accordingly.
“We have a choice in how we want to spend our time, to do activities that bring us joy, or to simply be present in the moment.“You have to prioritise yourself. That’s the only way to create a balance between our own needs and the needs of our relationships,” Lum says.
Lum says one needs to reconnect with oneself first to have meaningful connection with others. — ALYCIA LUM
Online to offline
Women, Family and Community Development Ministry strategic partnership division assistant director Franzeene Nadia Rajasegaran says it’s important to disconnect digitally and reconnect physically.
“We need to consciously refocus on what it means to build real, honest and healthy relationships, both at work and in our personal lives,” says Franzeene.
She says the department of women development promotes instilling in women, the values of compassionate love, morality, healthy living, acquired knowledge and conserving harmony in society.
“This integration is essential for building strong relationships, creating a sense of belonging and living a meaningful life,” she says.
“Our well-being is strongly influenced by physical, mental, financial and social factors. It is how we feel about ourselves and how we choose to live our lives.”
Shera Ann says scheduling reconnection time is a great idea for everyone. — SHERA ANN BOSCO
Meanwhile, entrepreneurial development platform Caring Moms founder Shera Ann Bosco promotes scheduling reconnection time.
“In a fast-paced life, this is a lifeline for our relationship. We all know how easy it is to get caught up in work, school and all the million things we have to do. If we don’t make a conscious effort to reconnect with our loved ones, we risk losing that special connection that makes our relationships thrive,” she adds.
Tan, Lum, Franzeene and Shera Ann were panellists at a discussion organised by DobiQueen as part of its #timetoreconnect initiative to remind people to be present in conversations and activities, and to build the idea that building relationships with family and friends is important.
Franzeene says modern society has less gender-specific family roles, allowing parents to have more time. — FRANZEENE NADIA
Breaking boundaries
Many people are now aware of gender equality and they are breaking away from traditional gender roles, Franzeene says.
“More men are leaning towards infant parenting and housework. In today’s culture, both men and women work together to support families and raise their kids. If responsibilities are evenly distributed, the burden is less on both and there is more time to spend on ourselves and with family,” she says.
At the end of the day, surrounding ourselves with positive relationships will only make us happier, healthier and fulfilled, she adds.
Lum says to reconnect with family and friends, it is important to be as present as we can be and show interest in their lives. “This starts by putting away our devices, maintaining eye contact and actively listening to what they have to say.”
Instead of having grand ideas or elaborate plans for reconnecting, Lum says people should focus on simple ways, like sending a text to see how they are doing, sharing a meal together, taking a leisurely walk, or engaging in a shared hobby.
“Reconnecting with others is not about big gestures, it’s about letting them know that we care about who they are as individuals,” she says.
