The support of friends, especially those who have gone through similar, is very important, says Lim.
There really is life after cancer, says 42-year-old breast cancer survivor Kim Lim.
“It was during the Covid-19 pandemic in 2020 that I was diagnosed with breast cancer,” she shares.
Then aged 39, Lim says that it was a “double whammy” for her because she had also just lost her former job due to the pandemic.
“My mind just went blank when the doctor told me I’d tested positive for cancer. I had no job and I had cancer – not the best combination,” she says.
“I remember sitting in my car, after my doctor’s appointment, crying and crying. Then I called my partner and told him. Unfortunately, he was working and living in a different district and couldn’t accompany me during the MCO. I then went home, and cried some more,” she recalls.
But Lim stresses that cancer doesn’t mean the end of life.
“People asked me whether it’s possible to find a job after cancer. They were worried companies wouldn’t hire them or might retrench them if they had cancer.
“But not only did I find a new job, I also completed my Masters degree which I had started earlier,” says Lim who now works in human resource management.
Breaking point
Lim urges women to get screened as early detection increases the chances of survival and recovery.During that time, Kim’s only brother also passed away.
“It almost broke me. It was during the lockdown, I couldn’t even plan his funeral. And I almost couldn’t even attend his funeral because of my low immune system. In the end, my doctor allowed me to attend it, but only for half an hour,” says Lim.
“I told my partner I wanted to give up because dying was easier than facing everything. But he said: ‘I know you’re feeling down. And it’s ok to feel sad, cry and say all the negative things you want, but only for three days. After that, it’s enough of self-pity! You’ve got to get up and move on. There’s a lot ahead of you and more responsibilities too. Thinking about it and feeling bad is not going to change anything’.”
“When he said that, I felt sad. But when I put it into practice, I realised he was right. It worked! After three days, I picked myself up and got moving.”
Lim (right) with her mother and nephew. The support of family and friends was key in her getting past her cancer.“Now that my brother had passed on, I was the sole caregiver for my 73-year-old mother. Also, my brother was a single parent and I became the legal guardian of his 10-year-old son (now 13).
“So, life goes on and it’s very important to stay strong because my family is very important to me and I can’t afford to have a breakdown,” she adds.
Before Lim had her lumpectomy, she went shopping for a T-shirt for her surgery and she decided to see things positively.
“I’m triple negative, and even though that’s the most aggressive type of breast cancer with the highest risk of recurrence, when I found a T-shirt that said ‘triple the mischief, triple the trouble, triple the fun’, I decided to buy it and wear it,” she says.
Support system
In conjunction with Breast Cancer Awareness Month (Octorber), surivors Kim Lim, Kala Balasingam and Shahreen Othman share about their journey with breast cancer and the importance of a good support system.
Lim has now completed her treatments and is under remission. She just needs to go for regular checkups.
The support of friends, especially those who have gone through similar, is very important, she says.
“When you have a good support system, they’ll give you the encouragement you need. Furthermore, they can provide practical support like helping you with chores or taking care of your children or aged parents.
“And, if they’re a survivor, they can offer mental and emotional support. They understand what you’re going through because they’ve gone through the same journey. Even without saying anything, accompanying you can mean a lot.
“My doctor knew I needed this and introduced me to Ranjit Kaur, who was the former president of Breast Cancer Welfare Association Malaysia and that’s how I found out about BCWA and their services,” says Lim, who is now BCWA’s president.
Lim (left) says that the support of family members and friends is important. Photo: Kim Lim
“The first person I saw when I came out of surgery was a survivor from BCWA. She told me she’s a long-time survivor, and in my entire life, I’d never met a cancer survivor before. She looked so ‘normal’ and her hair had grown back. I was so fascinated that I forgot about myself and was more curious about her.
“She shared with me that she’s survived over 10 years, she’s working, and I then realised that there’s life after cancer,” she says.
Lim went through 16 chemotherapy and 20 radiology sessions, and had to use a chemo port (a vein-access device put into the chest to deliver medication directly, eliminating the need for needles). She lost her hair, had nausea, diarrhea, fatigue, neuropathy (tingling sensation caused by nerve damage in fingers/toes), nosebleeds, and insomnia.
She says what gave her strength this time was the support of her partner and friends.
“Even though he’s working, he accompanied me for my treatments whenever he could (after the lockdown was lifted). When we were in the ward, he tried to divert my attention so that I wouldn’t focus on the discomfort.
“He would tell me jokes and update me on what he’s doing, so that the time seemed to pass by faster. My friends volunteered to help me with whatever I needed, sending me food, books, etc. to cheer me up. They even fetched my mum and nephew around, and took care of my two dogs,” she says.
Lim (far left) with her friends at Batu Caves. Photo: Kim Lim
“I joined BCWA’s counselling sessions, which were online at that time. I listened to the stories of many survivors and it gave me a sense of belonging because I realised that I’m not alone,” she adds.
“One in 19 women have a chance of getting breast cancer, so do your regular checkup. Every month, after your menses, do your self-examination. If you’re 40 and above, go for a mammogram, and if you’re below 40 with a family history of breast cancer, go for an ultrasound. This is important because early detection may mean a higher chance of recovery and survival,” she concludes.
