While cyberbullying is usually more personal – cyberbullies know their victims and the online abuse is targetted and repeated, trolling is often random. Trolls post nasty and provocative comments, often on a post by someone unknown to them, to incite a response from anyone. Photo: Unsplash
When 22-year-old Geetha S. from Seremban, Negri Sembilan, posted an amateur dance video of herself on TikTok, she never realised that it would “force” her to take a break from social media.
“I received so many nasty comments that were not even relevant to the dance,” she says.
The comments, she says, were cruel and hurtful: "You look so stupid, can’t even take a proper video, don’t bother posting lah!”; “You’re so fat, you should lose weight before even daring to post a video of yourself!”; “Eh, ugly ... (derogatory term), get off the social media stage!” and "You look like a slut!” were just some of the comments from trolls.
“Initially, I ignored them but the comments became more cruel until I couldn’t take it any longer. I became depressed and even had suicidal thoughts,” she admits.
Geetha confided in her family and friends, some of whom advised her to take a break from social media. She reveals that the experience led her to seek out mental health counselling which, she says "really helps”.
Geetha says that she really felt bullied. She is aware of celebrities and social media influencers who have been trolled and cyberbullied to the point of them taking their own lives and is thankful and relieved that it hadn’t gotten to that stage for her. And, she's grateful for the love and support of her family and friends, and her mental health counsellor.
“One of the things I was told is that ‘what people say to you or about you on social media is not a reflection of who you really are, because often, they’re speaking from their own insecurities, prejudices and negative experiences’. Also, ‘why would you allow a stranger to dictate how you feel about yourself’?” she adds.
As part of her healing, Geetha says that she's stayed away from social media platforms for quite some time. Even though she misses seeing her friends’ updates and chatting with them on social media, "it’s been quiet and peaceful" now.
Cyberbullying, according to Unicef, is 'bullying with the use of digital technologies'. Photo: Pixabay
Most recently, the story a Malaysian social media influencer, Rajeswary Appahu, 30 – who went by the name Esha on social media – who was found dead in her home a day after she lodged a police report of death and sexual assault threats made by cyberbullies, has been in the news, highlighting the insidious harm of cyberbullying. Esha claimed she was trolled and harassed in a live session with threats and vulgarity by an individual on TikTok who also used her photo and made serious threats against her.
Trolling and cyberbullying are two froms of online abuse that happen all too often. While they seem similar, what differentiates trolling and cyberbullying is the intent behind the two harmful acts.
Cyberbullying, according to the United Nation International Children's Emergency Fund (Unicef), is "bullying with the use of digital technologies".
"It can take place on social media, messaging platforms, gaming platforms and mobile phones. It is repeated behaviour, aimed to scare, anger or shame those who are targeted. Examples include: spreading lies about or posting embarrassing photos or videos of someone on social media; sending hurtful, abusive or threatening messages, images or videos via messaging platforms; impersonating someone and sending mean messages to others on their behalf or through fake accounts," said Unicef on their website.
In her study, "Cyberbullying among young adults in Malaysia: The roles of gender, age and Internet frequency", Malaysian researcher Prof Dr Vimala Balakrishnan found a correlation between Internet frequency and the prevalence of cyberbullying: Those who spent between two to five hours daily online reported being more victimised that those who spend less than an hour online. The tendency of cyberbullying and cyber-victimisation also goes up with increased time spent online.
Cyberbullying impacts victims' physical and emotional well-being, often more severely than traditional bullying, according to a study "Cyberbullying in Malaysia: An analysis of Existing Laws" published in 2022 in the International Journal of Law, Government and Communication. The anonymity of cyberbullies in cyberspace, it said, exacerbates emotional stress and negative thoughts, as victims cannot identify their tormentors.
While cyberbullying is usually more personal – cyberbullies know their victims and the online abuse is targetted and repeated, trolling is often random. Trolls post nasty and provocative comments, often on a post by someone unknown to them, to incite a response from anyone.
Report, report, report
Most victims don't talk about what they are going through due to shame or embarassmen, says Dr Vimala. Photo: Prof Dr Vimala BalakrishnanDr Vimala, who is from Universiti Malaya's Faculty of Computer Science and Information Technology, says that the issue with cyberbullying (especially where adults are concerned) is that most victims don't talk about what they are going through due to shame or embarassment.
"They see it as a sign of weakness to be cyberbullied or trolled, so they keep it to themselves. This has to change. People need to know that the phenomenon affects everyone, regardless of age. It doesn't just happen to children," she says.
If an individual feels that he/she is being bullied online, there are several things they can do: Firstly, block the perpetrator; secondly report them to the platform, says Dr Vimala.
"All social media platforms enable people to block others. And there is nothing to be ashamed about reporting a perpetrator. This also extends to bystanders or people who witness someone being trolled or cyberbullied as they too can report the perpetrator," she says.
"If you're cyberbullied or trolled, you can also make a report to the police and MCMC. Gather evidence immediately (before perpetrator removes posts) – these can be screenshots, the specific link used to commit the act, perpetrator's profile, or timestamp. The same procedure applies if the victims need the authorities to remove the posts," she adds.
Student Lorraine Chew says that she's stayed off social media platforms for more than a year as it was "causing anxiety" and making her self-esteem take a "massive hit".
"I used to post OOTD (outfit of the day) photos of myself on my Instagram daily. It was just something fun to do and I didn't have any other motive other than keeping a record of what I wore on a daily basis. I think it also motivated me to dress up nicely, which was fun," she shares.
She received a lot of positive feedback from friends and acquaintances, she says.
"But then there were also the really mean, nasty comments that really stung. There were just a few, but these would appear in every photo I posted and it felt that they were made on purpose to tear me down: Comments about my body size, for example, and slut-shaming me, if I wore anything even slightly revealing. It was horrible. At first, I just turned off the comments. But those earlier comments stayed in my mind and each time I posted a new photo, the comments would taunt me.
"It may seem silly but it made me feel horrible about my body and I didn't have the confidence to post any photos of myself anymore. So I stopped. And, after a while, I just didn't even feel like going on Instagram anymore," says Chew.
Don’t respond and get emotionally worked up by random strangers on the Internet, says Dr Anasuya. Photo: Dr Anasuya Jegathevi JegathesanProfessional psychologist Dr Anasuya Jegathevi Jegathesan who is University of Cyberjaya’s Dean of the Faculty of Psychology & Social Sciences, advises against engaging with cyberbullies or trolls online.
"Don't engage, unless you really wish to call them out for cyberbullying or trolling. But it will still take a huge toll on you mentally and emotionally," she says.
Not engaging, she explains, means "to ignore and not to reply them".
Instead, she advises to seek the support and help of one’s loved ones such as family and/or friends.
This is especially important if you’re a young person or child, she says.
"Don’t respond and get emotionally worked up by random strangers on the Internet. Some people do 'troll their trolls' back and turn the tables on them by being sarcastic, for example. But the point is, not to let some random stranger on the Internet get involved in your life because they don’t even know you,” says Dr Anasuya.
Why do bullies bully?
Cyberbullying impacts victims' physical and emotional well-being, often more severely than traditional bullying. Photo: Pixabay
According to Dr Vimala, one of the key motivations for cyberbullies or trolls is to get revenge.
"A key motive of cyberbullies and trolls is revenge. Many see this as an attractive payback mechanism – all it takes is creating offensive content and publishing it on social media, and this gets distributed rapidly within seconds, and the content is often exaggerated by others. This is usually the case where victims and perpetrators know each other, or it's a known figure.
"In some cases, there is this bully-victim cycle. Someone who has been badly victimised before might end up bullying others. In this scenario, both might not know each other," she says.
And then, there are those who commit the act "just for the fun of it", including adults.
"Many people, she says, do not know where to draw the line when it comes to differentiating between a harmless joke, and bullying or abuse," she says.
Is banning TikTok the answer?
Many people, she says, do not know where to draw the line when it comes to differentiating between a harmless joke, and bullying or abuse. Photo: Pixabay
According to Dr Vimala, while we can't stop others from talking about us, trolling, making fun of our posts and so on, what we can control is how we choose to react.
"So just block and move on," she advises.
"Listening to people slandering and humiliating us publicly is extremely painful, and distressing. Even if one blocks the offender, victims often continue to think of what has been said. Sometimes, they worry more about others – those who might have seen the posts, their perceptions and so on. This requires great mental and emotional strength. Talk to people – friends, family or counsellors," she says.
"We have been talking about cyberbullying for years, yet we still see this happening again and again, not only in Malaysia, but globally. This has to stop. I see many asking for TikTok (this might as well include all social media platforms) to be banned – this is not going to solve cyberbullying because they will find other means," she adds.
The solution isn't closing down or banning these platforms, she opines.
Dr Vimala highlights the need for strong laws that protect people from cyberbullying.
"Malaysia still doesn't have a law for cyberbullying, which is needed urgently," she says.
"The onus is on us as individuals to do something about it. First and foremost, accept the fact that it can happen to anyone, including ourselves. Learn to differentiate what is an aggression and what cyberbullying is – if it’s just an aggression, then block. If it's cyberbullying, then gather evidence as much as possible, block, and report," she reiterates.
"Life matters, many cyberbullies are not even aware of the harmful consequences of their actions (also another reason as to why some engage in this act). Regardless, if the content is a false accusation or embarrassing truth – it is not worth hurting ourselves in response. It will pass. If emotionally affected, seek help. Nobody needs to fight this on their own, and know that you’re not alone in this," concludes Dr Vimala.
