Spending hours scrolling on social media and going 'down the rabbit hole' being distracted by interesting yet unnecessary things just before bedtime is unhealthy. Photo: Freepik
Fanny Ng, 48, was contented in her role as housewife to a successful businessman and mother to a teenage boy and girl.
Ng had regular gatherings with her friends and kept in touch with them on social media (Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and WhatsApp).
But this is what led to her growing discontent and subsequent withdrawal from social media, reveals the former finance officer.
“One day, you check your social media and find out your classmate is running her own company with many overseas branches and has won several international awards while you don’t even earn an income; your friend’s son has just gotten a spot at a prestigious university abroad, while yours is only going to a local college; the schoolmate everyone can’t stand is showing off her luxury travel photos to several European destinations; and worst of all, your so-called bestie is having hi-tea at a hotel with her ‘good friends’ and you’re not even invited,” she says.
“You tell yourself ‘it doesn’t matter’, but can’t help being plagued by thoughts that life has passed you by, your friends have forgotten you and left you behind, and you feel pressured to ‘keep up appearances’. It gets worse because the more you scroll, the more you compare and feel discontented,” she adds.
Ng admits that she could spend hours scrolling on social media and going “down the rabbit hole” being distracted by interesting yet unnecessary things online, just before bedtime.
It made me go to bed late, disrupted my sleep quality, resulting in my feeling more tired in the mornings. It got to the point where I started having severe headaches whenever I looked at the handphone screen, she reveals.
“Finally, I decided to take a break from social media. Instead of scrolling online, I would try to busy myself with other activities – read a book, meditate, exercise, learn something new, spend time with my family – and it helped me regain the balance I needed in my life.
“It’s already been six months and I’m gradually returning to social media but I’ve learnt to limit my time spent online,” says Ng.
It's alright to take a break from social media to reconnect with yourself before you can fully engage with others online, says Dr Anasuya. Photo: Dr Anasuya Jegathevi JegathesanAccording to professional psychologist Dr Anasuya Jegathevi Jegathesan, who is also University of Cyberjaya's Dean of the Faculty of Psychology and Social Sciences, comparing oneself with others and "keeping up with the Jones" has always been a social phenomena, and it’s not just online.
But, she says, one’s sense of self worth shouldn’t be found in social media engagement. It should be within oneself.
"Don’t go to social media looking for validation, and don’t base your self worth how many likes you get on social media,” she says.
“And, don’t compare yourself with others because everyone is walking their own journey in life, and they maybe at a different stage in life,” she adds.
Dr Anasuya also advises parents to stop comparing their children with others' kids – whether it’s in exam results, athletic prowess, which school/university they attend, their course of study, how much they earn, etc.
Comparisons are odious and when parents do this, children grow up thinking they should always compare themselves with others. Hence, they are inadvertedly propagating this ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ mentality, she says.
“Instead, compare your child with his or her own progress. Life is not a competition, and the only person you should be competing with is yourself. For example, your exam results are better this semester than last semester, rather than your exam results are better or worse than your classmates',” she adds.
One’s sense of self worth shouldn’t be found in social media engagement. It should be within oneself. Photo: Pixabay
Amir Ishak, a young executive working in Kuala Lumpur, used to be very active on social media. Recently, though, he had to take a break from his social channels.
“I was the type of person who often updated my social media status – usually several times a day. I guess I had every reason to. It was my way of keeping in touch with my family, friends, and other contacts I had made in the course of my life,” says the 30-year-old.
Amir reveals that a lot of his posts were of him and his 26-year-old girlfriend whom he had been dating for over a year.
“We were going to get engaged and married later this year,” he reveals.
But when the relationship hit a rocky patch, social media made matters worse.
"She started hanging around with ‘a bunch of rich kids’ and became 'a totally different person'," he says.
She began cancelling their dates "at the last minute", and he would see photos of her in posts by her friends. Some of her friends even mocked him on social media.
Amir's self-confidence took at beating; he felt belittled and like he was “never good enough”.
Eventually, the pair broke up; but every time he was on social media, he would still see such posts of her “living it up with her rich friends”.
“It was traumatising to be bombarded with this daily that I just stopped checking or posting on my social media. Perhaps I’ll return one day, but for now, I’m just taking a short break from it for the sake of my sanity,” says Amir.
Control the amount of time you spend on social media to reduce its potential harm. Photo: PixabaySpending "so much time" on social media – to the point that it disrupts one's sleep, relationships, and other areas of one's life – isn't advisable, says Dr Anasuya.
“For some, checking social media is something that they need to habitually do, to the point that it becomes harmful. But doomscrolling or spending an excessive amount of time reading large quantities of information, especially negative, on social media or the Internet, doesn’t help your mental health, and is in fact detrimental to it.
“Never get involved in other people’s online drama because it will cause you unnecessary stress and keep you from what’s really important.
"Social media, when starts to it takes away time and energy from the rest of your life, or makes you feel bad about yourself or your life, is when you know it is time to take a break from it.
"Sometimes, you just need to withdraw from social media – whether temporarily or permanently – to reconnect with yourself before you can fully engage with others online," concludes Dr Anasuya.
