These Malaysians in their 60s have been friends since kindergarten

(From left) Jayavathaney, Arokiamary and Ammu have shared a close bond since primary school. Photos: Jayavathaney Ramachandran

Jayavathaney Ramachandran, Arokiamary Savarimuthu and Prof Dr Ammu Radhakrishnan are all in their 60s, and they have been friends for almost as long as they have lived.

These sexagenarians, who live in Kuala Lumpur, say the secret to their strong bond is understanding, care and compassion.

“Jayavathaney and I attended the same kindergarten when we were six. We later became classmates at SK Convent Jalan Peel in Cheras. There, we met Ammu who was also our Year One classmate.

Jayavathaney (bottom, left), Arokiamary (bottom, right) and Ammu (centre) have been friends for over 50 years. Photo: Prof Dr Ammu Radhakrishnan

“As children, we got along very well because we had similar interests. We enjoyed reading books by Enid Blyton, Agatha Christie and Carolyn Keene. We also loved playing games like hop scotch, batu seremban, rounders and zero point. The three of us lived nearby and we’d spend most of our weekends together,” says homemaker Arokiamary in an interview in Sri Hartamas.

Jayavathaney, a former senior human resources executive at The Star adds: “Somehow, we have been able to ‘click’ with one another since primary school. Ammu and I lived on Lorong Cheong Yoke Choy in Cheras and our parents were friends. As classmates, we hung out together at school and attended the same tuition classes. Although we are not related, we are like the sisters we never had.”

These former students of SMK Convent Jalan Peel are also the embodiment of lasting friendships. Ammu believes their friendship has stood the test of time due to their genuine care for each other, and their effort to stay connected.

Sisterhood of travellers: Jayavathaney (left) and Ammu's adventures together highlight their strong, sister-like bond.

“When we were growing up, we were always together, supporting each other throughout our school years. Even when I was studying in Cambridge, England, Jayavathaney visited me (in 1991). We travelled together to Bristol and Stratford-upon-Avon,” says Ammu, who has also travelled to Egypt and taken a few local holidays with Jayavathaney.

Back then, there weren’t social media platforms like Facebook or Instagram or emails, so they kept in touch via aerogram, adds Ammu.

“If you value friendship, you will keep in touch,” says the academician, who is attached to a private university in Petaling Jaya.

The trio’s sisterhood reflects a deep sense of love and closeness. They listen to each other with empathy, and foster a supportive bond.

“To make a friendship work, you need to be kind and empathetic. Accept your friend for who they are, and don’t try to change them. Appreciating your friend is the key to a lasting friendship,” says Jayavathaney.

Jayavathaney (left) and Arokiamary have shared a close bond since kindergarten.

That’s what friends are for

Studies suggest that stable, healthy friendships are crucial for well-being and longevity.

A 2020 study in The American Journal of Psychiatry shows that people who have friends and close confidants are more satisfied with their lives and less likely to suffer from depression.

Jayavathaney lives in Taman Desa, while Ammu stays in Bukit Jalil and Arokiamary calls Mont Kiara home. Yet they still make it a point to meet once every few months as well as during celebrations like Christmas and Deepavali, just like how they have been doing since primary school.

Arokiamary is grateful for WhatsApp messaging, video calls and group chats, which allow her to stay connected to her “sisters”.

From left: Arokiamary, Ammu, friend Margaret Rani Obagarasamy and Jayavathaney on one of their many excursions.

“We make it a point to message regularly, and to check on each other. What’s important is we still call each other and stay in touch despite our busy schedules. Sometimes, we make it a point to catch up for an evening run, a swim, a movie or meals.”

The best part is we haven’t changed in terms of our personality. We are so comfortable with each other that we can talk about a broad range of topics,” says the mother of three.

Ammu admits that friendship is hard work because it requires consistent effort, understanding and compromise.

“You must put an effort to make it work. A simple WhatsApp message to a loved one is enough to show you care. And always make it a point to keep in touch,” says the mother of one. We are like the sisters we never had.Jayavathaney Ramachandran