Eleda with her son Elyas and Dr Nik Raihan. — KAMARUL ARIFFIN/TheStar
Mother of two Eleda Zaaba, 33, whose son, Elyas Adib Azhari, seven, has developmental delay, says that although she “kind of had a hunch” about his condition from the time he was five, she didn’t seek help promptly.
At kindergarten, Elyas’s teachers said the boy could not follow instructions and would be running around during lessons.
“He was our only child at the time and parenting was new to us. Plus, other parents told us that ‘some kids are late bloomers’ and that ‘they will catch up’ so I left it at that,” Eleda says.
Early this year, Elyas enrolled in Year One at a Chinese school and Eleda said his teacher told her that he refuses to do anything at school and isn’t bothered about rules.
“That’s when my husband and I knew that we could no longer ignore the issue; we had to find intervention,” she says.
Consultant general and developmental paediatrician Associate Professor Dr Norazlin Kamal Nor says it’s typical that parents find out about developmental delay from their child’s Year One teacher.
“School setting puts a child together with his or her peers, so it’s easy to see who are still left behind in development. When the child is at home, there is no clear comparison that would push parents to seek help,” she says.
Child mental health specialist Dr Nik Raihan Mohammed says many children spend more time with their caregivers than their parents and so, parents can miss picking up on these delays.
Dr Nik Raihan says parents are also not equipped with the knowledge of what kids should be able to do at a certain age.
“Even general practitioners may not know how to check if a child is developing well. Those who can assess this are paediatricians, but not all kids see paediatricians,” she adds.
The Health Ministry, Dr Nik Raihan says, already has a screening protocol in place for babies and toddlers, but once a child passes two years old (at which point he or she has done almost all vaccinations), parents don’t go to government health clinics (Klinik Kesihatan) to check on their child’s development.
“Parents are also overwhelmed with information. There is ‘parenting advice’ everywhere, whether given by other family members or social media influencers, and it can be hard to tell which ones are right,” she says.
Dr Norazlin says it’s typical that parents find out about developmental delay from their child’s Year One teacher because school setting puts a child together with his or her peers, so it’s easy to see who are still left behind in development. — SIA HONG KIAU/The Star
Emotional strength
Dr Norazlin says for parents, denial before acceptance is common for many reasons.
“Some people are not ready to accept that their child needs intervention, so despite multiple people telling them that they should get him or her checked, they still don’t take action,”
“Acceptance is a very emotional decision. You are essentially accepting that your child will have a different trajectory than what you originally thought when he or she was born,” she adds.
Looking back, Eleda wishes she did not hesitate to get Elyas’s condition assessed sooner.
“While the initial delay meant we started later than ideal, it also gave us valuable time to understand and appreciate our child’s unique needs. And in future, if we notice anything amiss with our youngest, we will definitely seek assistance without delay,” she says.
As a mother whose child requires therapy, Eleda says accessible intervention is very important.
“Affordable options are crucial because they help ease the financial strain on families, ensuring that cost is not a barrier to receiving the necessary help. Geographical accessibility not only reduces the stress of long commutes but also ensures that children receive consistent and timely interventions,” she says.
Eleda with her husband Adib Azhari and their sons, Elyas (right) and Edris. — ELEDA ZAABA
Supporting brain growth
Human anatomy expert Associate Professor Dr Cheah Pike See says parents can offer a holistic support for brain growth by providing their kids with a secure environment and good nutrition.
“Proper nourishment and healthy digestion are vital to support the formation of brain cells and neural connections. Parent-child interactions and the quality of early experiences are also important,” she adds.
“Providing a nurturing, stimulating and emotionally supportive environment equips a child with the necessary tools to thrive cognitively and emotionally,” she adds.
Dr Norazlin encourages families to eat together.
“A good routine helps children build stronger attachment to their parents and the family unit,” she says.
“Parents should also know that it’s risky for them to delay seeking help when they sense that their child is not developing on par with his or her peers. Doctors also need to continuously reach out to parents so they know the importance of early intervention so as not to miss out on this five-year window,” she says.
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Eleda says parents should be open and honest when seeking help. “Effective communication, education and support are also crucial. Clear communication with doctors and therapists, along with access to educational resources can help bridge the gap between what parents should do and what they actually do,” she says.
Dr Nik Raihan wishes that parents find out more about how the brain develops and why the first five years of a child’s life is crucial.
“They should also be responsive to their children, know how to respond to their child’s questions in ways that will foster conversations and encourage the child to think,” she says.
“Some parents tell me they don’t play with their children, because they think it’s a waste of time. If only they knew that’s one of the best things they can do for the child,” she concludes.
