Bullying can happen in many forms, but a child's strong connection with an adult will help them open up and navigate the situation. — Freepik
BULLYING is a widespread issue, affecting children not just in school or at the playground, but also on the digital space.
Since the Covid-19 pandemic, online bullying has increased significantly, taking on a more insidious form, lurking anonymously in chats and social media posts, while spreading venomous and hurtful messages.
Alarmingly, bullying (in-person or online) shows no signs of abating, with school incidents rising to 5,319 cases until October 2023, compared to 3,887 cases from the previous year, based on the Education Ministry’s Sistem Sahsiah Diri Murid (SSDM) statistics.
The consequences of bullying are long-lasting, impacting a student’s self-esteem, academic performance, and overall well-being even long after the incidents have ended.
To effectively address bullying, it is crucial to understand its root cause.
During one’s formative years, young individuals are shaped by various internal and external factors that can lead them to act out of character. Factors such as insecurity, exposure to violence and social pressure can lead young people to bully others as a way to gain power or acceptance.
Chin (right) says schools should be a safe space for children to develop, and this includes seeking help when they need to. — Photos: Soka International School Malaysia
The role of school
Schools are uniquely positioned to combat bullying and play a pivotal role in shaping young minds, through programmes that promote empathy, respect, compassion and kindness.
By promoting understanding and appreciation of diversity, schools can help reduce bullying incidents.
Resources like counselling and peer support groups provide students with guidance they need to navigate social challenges and build healthy relationships.
Students should also be encouraged to practise values that transform negative behaviours. This not only fosters personal growth, change and transformation, but also guides individuals to become better versions of themselves.
Furthermore, a social-emotional learning approach using dialogues may reduce bullying by cultivating mutual respect and appreciation.
Integrating mindfulness, stress management and healthy lifestyle habits into the school curriculum can also enhance students’ overall well-being and focus on personal growth instead of bullying behaviours.
Be vigilant
Soka International School Malaysia (SISM) counsellor Chin Lek Sin says it’s important that teachers and parents are vigilant in recognising bullying.
“Open conversation with the child is crucial to understand the issues and guide them on how to handle it. Trusted adults play a significant role in providing support, whether it’s through teaching children to ignore verbal bullies, reporting incidents to teachers or discussing the issue with a counsellor,” she says.
Chin also highlights the role of teachers in fostering a positive learning atmosphere. “Encouraging pupils to manage their emotions, stay calm, actively listen and communicate clearly, help them handle conflicts effectively,” she says.
She adds that recognising and praising positive behaviours are more motivating than punishment and this also helps establish clear expectations.
“This approach not only aims to stop bullying but also enhances pupils’ communication skills and self-esteem, ultimately shaping them into confident and capable future leaders,” she says.
SISM principal Dr Wendy Yee says students should have a meaningful environment that helps them become the best versions of themselves.
“They should have a safe space for development, so schools can also partner with counsellors to provide students with guidance on relevant topics, including bullying,” she says.
Social emotional learning helps forge students' self-esteem and confidence.
Parental roles
Parents and caregivers should be aware of any bullying cases in school and understand how to support their child if it happens to them.
“Be a listener to your child. Spend time listening to the child and understand what they experience at school. Make them feel supported so they are willing to share the cause of bullying,” Chin says.
She says it’s also pertinent that parents talk to the child about bullying, why it is harmful, and the solution. They also need to guide the child on how to treat others with respect and kindness so the child doesn’t become a perpetrator.
“The sign of great parenting is not the child’s behaviour, but the parents’ behaviour. Parents need to be role models to the child on appropriate behaviour and respectful attitude. There are no two ways about it,” she says.
Since children – even teenagers – are often reluctant to disclose bullying, adults close to them need to know possible signs that a child might be bullied.
“It’s important to foster open conversation between parent and child to encourage the child to share about their school life, peer relationships or any unpleasant experience in school. Parents can practise active listening and provide a safe space for kids to talk to them without any judgement,” she says.
Chin says parents and teachers need to work together to express their thoughts and feelings without fear. “Always encourage children to voice out if they are being bullied or if they witness their peers being bullied. Adults must create clear rules and expectations for the children in school,” she says.
Besides that, parents need to also be aware of any victim-blaming situation in school.
“Teachers or parents should never blame the (bullying) victim; this will only reduce their self-esteem and increase the feeling of helplessness,” she says.
Finally, trust is important for the child to open up with adults.
“A strong rapport and positive relationship will increase the confidence to confide, which is the first step towards solving the problem,” she concludes.
