If you find it extremely stressful to throw anything of yours away, you may have a hoarding problem. - LUCIA SORRENTINO/Unsplash
‘One man’s treasure is another man’s trash’. How true when it comes to our earthly belongings. Our treasure could be junk to our children. We are from different generations, with different lifestyles and different tastes.
The more stuff we accumulate, the bigger the burden we leave for our children to dispose of when we pass on, as we all will, eventually.
It’s time to start getting rid of things we no longer have any use for. Decluttering makes sense. No need to wait till we are in our twilight years to do so. Decluttering frees up space in our home and keeps it clean and tidy, spick and span.
There is also less risk of tripping and falling when there is less clutter. The home is better ventilated and easier to maintain. It creates a conducive and healthy environment for work and relaxation. With less clutter, we not only think better but also locate items we are looking for more easily.
Indeed, a number of my friends have already started the process. They have hosted garage sales to dispose of stuff they no longer want. Some have gone online to sell their preloved items at a bargain. Others have donated unwanted items to charity or sent them to recycling centres. One even generously gave away her expensive quality furniture on a first-come basis!
As for me, I have a very long way to go before I can honestly give myself a pat on the shoulder and say, ‘Well done! Marie Kondo would be proud of me!’
I have cupboards and boxes full of books, files, photos and numerous Teachers Day gifts accumulated over 35 years of teaching. Then there is my home library of books I have bought over the years, with many still unread and gathering dust and attracting silverfish! A predicament very familiar to retired seniors.
So, declutter I will, and the sooner I get started, the quicker I can enjoy the comfort of an airy, clean and spacious home. Not only does clutter deprive us of space and a tidy home, more importantly, it affects our health. We are at risk of developing respiratory problems from the dust and suffering bites from mites. Minimalism is the way to go for seniors.
I have contacted a few former colleagues who teach English and offered them my collection of textbooks and reference books. I have left several boxes of books with the PJ library. Strangely enough, it wasn’t too painful a decision to part with the books. I felt a sense of relief knowing the books would be in good hands and put to good use.
There were plenty of takers for my prized collection of cassettes and CDs of popular songs from the 1960s-70s. It was painful for me to part with them as some of the songs marked certain poignant moments in my past.
Next up were my clothes. Believe me, I still have clothes from the 1960s, like my Form Five graduation dress which I had designed and persuaded my dear seamstress, Aunt Bertha, to sew for me. I had kept it for nostalgic reasons.
Also, the sexy high-slit, figure-hugging glittering cheongsam that I last wore at my birthday party during my Form Six days at English College, Johor Bahru. I have been preserving these outfits in the hope that I’ll slim down enough to wear them again someday. Fat chance! It is a miracle these outfits have stood the test of time.
Seniors will tell you things from the old days were more durable, unlike today’s products that are not made to last.
A good idea would be to keep clearing your possessions in small batches to avoid hoarding.- LILY FU
Don’t be a hoarder
The sudden urge to clean up my apartment was also a result of seeing some horrific images and videos of hoarders and their homes. Just do a search of hoarders on FB and YouTube, and you’ll be appalled.
Imagine the horror of living in a house where every inch of space from floor to ceiling is filled with junk and garbage, not to mention infested with rats, cockroaches and other unmentionables! This is accumulating stuff to the extreme!
When we don’t declutter and keep on adding more stuff, we are at risk of falling victim to Diogenes Syndrome, also known as senile squalor syndrome. Google the term.
Hoarders are often older adults who live on their own. With no one to stop them from accumulating stuff, and with the whole house to themselves, they start filling up every room with anything they can lay their hands on, in the belief that it will come in handy someday. That day usually never comes, and so the boxes and bags of useless items keep growing. Eventually the whole place becomes a fire threat and a death trap!
After years of hoarding, the hoarder gets so overwhelmed when he looks around him that he doesn’t even know where to begin clearing even if he wants to. So, he gives up and continues to let the junk pile up.
I can understand why some elderly people hoard. They find it hard to throw away things. They have been through the war years in the 1940s when food and basic necessities were in short supply. They have experienced the lean years.
So now they collect anything and everything, from empty containers and plastic bags to used newspapers and magazines. They see every item as being of use some day. When this habit extends to leftover food and perishables, you can imagine the stink it creates, not to mention the flies it attracts. The nightmare is compounded if the hoarder also brings home stray cats and dogs.
So, my spring cleaning has begun. If I wait till the new year, I may never get started. Procrastination is the thief of time. The process will take time, and it will be heart-breaking. Long retired seniors like me have a lifetime of mementos and memories that we hold precious and keep for sentimental reasons: School report cards, baby photos, love letters, diaries, 33 rpm records ... the list goes on.
But there are some items I will never throw out, like my high school essay book containing the compositions I wrote back in 1964 when I was sweet sixteen! Also handmade birthday cards from my children and grandchildren. They will enjoy the memories these cards bring up. These are among the favorite things that I will keep close to my heart.
Here are some tips I can think of on how to avoid cluttering our home. I’ll be the first person to follow my own advice!
• Throw out or donate anything that you haven’t used or worn for the past two years. It may pain you but be firm.
• Avoid buying anything you don’t have any immediate use for. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking “Hmm...this might come in handy one day”.
• Practice sorting things and keeping them in separate compartments. This not only saves space but makes it easier to locate things.
• Regularly go through your fridge and pantry. Check food items for their expiry date. If expired, chuck them out.
• Get rid of the “bargain mentality”. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need just because it’s on offer at a fantastic discount. Keep purchases to a minimum, especially if you are living alone. Don’t be taken in with those “Buy six, Free one”.
• If something is broken, throw it out. Don’t hang on to it in the hope that you will be able to repair it. That may never happen.
Avoid buying items for a future project unless you can commit to it. Examples: buying a sewing machine to sew a baby quilt for your future grandchild; investing in a full set of handyman tools because you plan to be Mr D.I.Y. Home Fix-It, only to discover later that home repairs are best done by a professional!
Who knows where we may live 10, 20 years from now. There may come a day when we have to move to a smaller house. Empty nesters may have to seriously consider downsizing for practical reasons. We may end up moving to our daughter’s house so she could better care for us in our old age. Or we may find ourselves in an aged care home. If any of that happens, imagine all the stuff we will have to dispose of, moving from a 3-room family home to a single room!
It’s never too early or too late to start decluttering. Just do it!
When it comes to the last goodbye, we have to leave all our possessions behind. We came into this world with nothing, and will leave with nothing. The true worth of our lives is measured by our experiences, not our possessions. It is enough if we can say we have left behind a legacy of beautiful memories for our loved ones.
Lily Fu is a gerontologist who advocates for seniors. She is founder of SeniorsAloud, an online platform for seniors to get connected and enjoy social activities for ageing well.
