Malaysian brothers: Martial arts changed our lives, helped us overcome bullies

A’mmarul says that his life changed after he took up martial arts, and he became more disciplined, healthier and had a better self-esteem.

If you see the tall and athletic A’mmarul Shafiq Ubaidillah today, you would never imagine that he was bullied when he was in school for being – in his own words – “skinny, nerdy-looking and bespectacled”.

“In fact, I’m one of those who went into bodybuilding and martial arts because I was a victim of bullies,” he shares, adding that he was attacked and picked on in school because of his mixed race and unusual looks. A’mmarul’s father is Malay-Thai while his mother is Filipino.

“I wanted to learn self-defence to learn to protect and stand up for myself, so I started off with bodybuilding and subsequently, martial arts, particularly Muay Thai,” he says.

A’mmarul, who was 17 at that time, says that it was his father – former Malaysian bodybuilding athlete Ubaidillah Nasri Abdul Latiff – who encouraged him to learn bodybuilding with him to boost up his confidence.

“So I followed him after school to the gym and started training with him for two years. After that, my life changed: I became more disciplined, healthier and had a better self-esteem.

“I had the confidence to deal with the bullies and stand up for myself whenever they picked on me,” shares the 23-year-old who recently completed his studies in Sports Science at Institut Sukan Negara (National Sports Institute) in Bukit Jalil, Kuala Lumpur.

But more than that, it also enabled A’mmarul to stand up for other people around him who were also bullied.

From bodybuilding, A’mmarul – the eldest of seven children – became interested in martial arts.

“During the movement control order in 2021, influenced by my younger brother Arysh, I decided to start doing Muay Thai. All four of us brothers in the family are doing Muay Thai,” he says, adding that two of them are participating in Ama’s Fist of Glory competition in different categories.

“Because of my personal experience, I strongly recommend that other survivors of bullying take up martial arts. Not only is it good for your self-esteem, it helps you build self-confidence, is good for health, plus you’ll look and feel better too,” says A’mmarul, who recently fought in the Any Martial Art (Ama)'s Fist of Glory competition, and also in a Muay Thai competition in Negri Sembilan.

“And when you have the ability to stand up for someone, you’ll use that power to stand up for what’s right,” he adds.

A'mmarul took up bodybuilding and martial arts to help him overcome being bullied.

A’mmarul reveals that when he was in school, most of his friends were “all nerds”.

“After I took up sports and bodybuilding, I was able to be there for them, stand up for them, and ‘even managed to leave a positive mark’ at school: The bullying lessened and students became more united. I gained respect for standing my ground and the bullies even became friendlier.

“They began to realise that bullying people was a waste of time, that it was counterproductive and detrimental to student life. Not only does it hurt others but also themselves in the long run in terms of their reputation and future,” he says.

A’mmarul says he was subsequently appointed as a prefect so it became his “responsibility to intervene whenever there were students being bullied”.

He emphasises that bullying is something that shouldn’t be taken for granted.

“There are detrimental outcomes of bullying such as emotional trauma, mental anguish and physical injuries, sometimes even leading to death.”

He urges survivors of bullying to “stay strong and reach out to someone you trust because you’re not alone”.

“It’s sad that people would choose to bully those who are from minority groups. Bullies will never pick on someone who is at their level. Instead, they tend to pick on those who seem weaker or are from minority and marginalised groups,” he adds.

According to A’mmarul, bullies often have “issues with self-esteem, anger and they might be victims of abuse at home”.

“It’s not just survivors of bullying who gain from learning martial arts but the bullies themselves too,” says A’mmarul, who is also a personal trainer and runs a gym and fitness centre in Selayang, Selangor.

“When they learn the principles of martial arts – the discipline, as well as responsibility to protect the weak and stand for what’s right – many of them often turn over a new leaf. I’ve seen many cases of this happening,” he says.

“Instead of channelling all their anger towards bullying the weak, why not use that negative energy and channel it into something positive such as sports and martial arts? It will improve their way of thinking in life,” adds A’mmarul, who takes part in two professional or event fights weekly.

Cultivating discipline

Arysh started fighting professionally at the age of 13.

Younger brother Arysh Shaddad Ubaidillah concurs that learning martial arts is good for “building self-discipline, confidence and one’s character”, besides learning self-defence.

The 18-year-old and second eldest in the family reveals that he did get bullied in high school too.

“Because I was small in size and seen as ‘not a threat’, I was often picked on in school. Some students from another class would come into the classroom and ‘kacau’ (disturb) me by whacking me on the head,” he shares.

“I asked my father for advice, and he suggested that I take up Muay Thai. At that time, I was already doing bodybuilding. After that, I was training regularly in Muay Thai and I even took part in competitions,” he says.

Arysh, who began competing at the age of 13, seven months after he started learning Muay Thai, is one of the youngest fighters in the Fist of Glory.

He has competed in more than 50 fights, taking part in more than two fights every month.

In August, he represented Selangor for Muay Thai at Sukma XXI and won the 63.5-67kg Men’s Gold with RSCH (Referee Stops Contest for Head Injuries) decision.

“I prepare for a fight by training every day for around five to six hours. When I was studying, I would focus on my studies, and after school, I would go to the gym,” says Arysh who has completed his SPM.

He says that his father always advised him to “stand up for himself”.

“Of course, it’s important to exercise wisdom, and don’t pick fights with others unnecessarily. But if people bully you, you need to stand up to them. Usually, they’ll back down because the thing about bullies is they often pick on those they see as weaker than themselves and whom they can easily intimidate,” he concludes.

A'mmarul (left) and Arysh sparring before the event.