Most people are inclined to think of ageing in terms of losses and fading selves, but the narratives are not quite so simple.- Pexels
Whatever your age, be unfettered by numbers. Years may go, quickly go, yet your spirit and passion can remain as young as ever, even after turning 60.
Step lightly into your personal happiness by cultivating humility, kindness and self-love. Remember your well-being is important, so don’t dwell on age.
As the American writer Ralph Waldo Emerson put it: “The age of a woman doesn’t mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.”
I still treat myself to chocolate, start my day with coffee, read romance novels, laugh at homespun jokes, and allow bits of body parts to jiggle with aplomb – and feeling all is well.
Since becoming a senior citizen, I no longer look for external validation to sustain me. I simply ignore an incipient neck-waddle, and insouciantly recalibrate target weight. That somewhat makes life easier. Truth is, the joy is in the journey.
Growing older is about learning to embrace a different pace of life, while being ready to take on a whole range of possibilities that the golden years bring. It is feeling lucky at seizing the chance to create your own happiness so that you can pass on your happiness to others.
And I find myself thinking, “What awaits?”
Our dressing style evolves with age, now aiming for comfort and elegance. It is essential that you feel good about yourself, and clothes are a powerful tool to manifest our personality. After all, vivacious charm is about attitude, not age.
So I started editing my wardrobe to bring out the fabulous version of myself. I’m into dopamine dressing – a casual outfit with a touch of glamour, including colourful accessories and trendy trainers.
Wearing red lipstick also feels so empowering.
Old age should be a time to celebrate personal style, and take advantage of vintage pizzazz just for fun.
What I look for these days is less hassle, less noise, less complications. What I need is space for thoughts and reflection, stillness for soul-nourishing moments, and sereniy to notice the beauty around me. And what better way to recharge than a night of guilt-free snoring?
Most people are inclined to think of ageing in terms of losses and fading selves but it needn't be so. - MICHELLE LEMAN/Pexels
Ageing narratives
Ageing – it’s a tricky word, one freighted with meaning, fraught with uncertainties, and requiring of patience and compassion. Most people are inclined to think of ageing in terms of losses and fading selves, but the narratives are not quite so simple.
I don’t mind the numbing repetition of everyday tasks, for they give structure to my day. But I would avoid highly stimulating environments whether they involve social gatherings or not. I become more selective about who I engage with, for I look for more depth and emotional connection in human relationships to feel more authentic. Do not shoehorn yourself into uncomfortable spaces – let go of people who do not align with your current self.
Growing old often has the effect of stripping one’s ego of pretense, vanity and waste. Strong relationships help us live longer and happier because they provide a sense of belonging, meaning and encouragement. We want to be around people who help bring out our best selves, and support each other like a bastion.
Reaching a milestone in life provides an opportunity to take inventory of our lives, to reconsider priorities, and to determine new directions.
I reflect on the good bits that have gone right in my life. Marrying a guy who is even-keeled and has a flair for cooking, choosing the right career, birthing three daughters who love me awesomely, and building a comfortable home – were all good decisions.
Sometimes things actually surprise you in a good way. When was the last time you laughed so hard it hurt, hugged so tightly you felt squeezed, loved so much it caused a showering of tears, had such a raucous time you didn’t want it to end – elevated moments fully lived?
All fired up
I wake up every morning with expectant gladness, eager for what the new day will bring. With six decades behind me, you might think I would be staid and sleepy, or dizzy and frumpy. Far from it. I am, in fact, firing on all cylinders, fun-loving, and imbued with a playfulness that borders on unbecoming for a grandmother of four.I can be relied upon to deliver a concoction of grit, glamour and giggles – and all with a mischievous twinkle in my eye and a spring in my steps. And as long as I’m alive, I aim to live as joyfully, serenely and productively as I can.
The phases of life we find challenging are those that come with fear and vulnerability: working at a job, settling down, raising a family, and finally tackling the travails of ageing. Because our thoughts cascade into our feelings and actions, what we think matters. When we nurture positive thoughts, we feel good and lifted. Eventually everyone finds their way out by developing their own coping mechanisms. We become more resourceful, if not wiser.
The thing is, we’re constantly evolving, and our interests shift and change. So we do different things at different stages of life. Even wisdom looks different at another age. We just need to keep going, picking up little joys and pleasant surprises as we move along.
Life is made up of moments, the micro moments being mundane and unseen. They pass us by, unfelt and unnoticed. All I can say with conviction is that people are more important than material things.
The upside of growing older is that we finally know what really matters, and what doesn’t, when we realise that life is about who we had loved - not what we had acquired.
We will feel happier when we learn to quiet our mind - to stop analysing, stop evaluating, and stop trying to figure out everything in our life. You need to befriend yourself, and love yourself the way you are. And we could all use some humour to soothe the chafe that comes with overthinking.
Sometimes the best way to celebrate a birthday is by garnering courage to connect to the flawed, fragile, funny parts of ourselves – and be surprised to discover a sense of settledness and groundedness there.
