Using signs to communicate with your baby is helpful for their language development. — Freepik
CHILDREN whose language skills are not yet fully developed sometimes resort to other means of getting your attention.
A toddler may pull mum’s hair or slap dad when something is not going their way. Another child might hit their playground buddy on the head with a shovel for taking their toys away.
If a child cannot yet communicate what they want, hitting, biting or throwing a tantrum offers “a quick solution” that is often meet with a swift reaction and unlimited attention, says Dana Mundt, a social education worker with the German Conference for Educational Counselling.
In an interview with dpa, she shares some tips on how to help your kid express themselves if they can’t yet tell you what they need.
How can I stop my kid from hitting and biting?
Dana Mundt: Unfortunately, you can’t simply press a button on the child. There’s no cure-all for such behaviour, even if some parents sometimes and understandably wish there was.
But parents can be supportive and guide their children from an early age. Using signs to communicate with your baby is helpful for their language development. Bring your hand to your mouth as if you were holding a cup when asking the child if they would like a drink, for example.
This method works really well when children are thirsty, hungry, in pain or need a cuddle. It allows them to show what they want non-verbally from an early age. Pointing a finger at a jar of marmalade is usually faster than saying the word, which can be tough for any youngster.
What helps to improve their language skills?
Mundt: Maintain direct eye contact when talking to the child. That is the only way to see whether they are actually listening.
Nowadays, we often tend to be on our phones while talking to someone else, failing to really look each other in the eye. Yet eye contact is crucial for a child’s language development.
Looking at picture books together from an early age, talking about nature or signing together also helps to improve a child’s communication skills.
If you can’t think of any nursery rhymes, finger games or songs, consider joining music classes for babies and toddlers, which also gives you a chance to meet other parents and children.
I also think it’s important to express feelings out loud when trying to curb bad habits. If a parent sees that a child is angry and reaches for a shovel in response to a stolen toy, tell them: “I can see that you’re really angry. Isn’t that right?” Nevertheless, boundaries should be clearly drawn so that no one is hurt.
How can parents set boundaries or teach the child alternative means of expression?
Mundt: Parents should say clearly that scratching, biting, hitting or spitting are not okay. Give a short verbal warming, such as “This is not on!”
In a tricky situation, try to offer them an alternative to their behaviour, for example by telling them: “You’re angry because the other child took the shovel away from you. But look, here’s another one. There’s a bucket and a bigger shovel.”
When it comes to pulling hair, I would always make clear that you don’t want them to do it because it hurts you.
Curbing such aggressive behaviour and the ensuing tantrums is no easy task. Parents should be on hand and listen. First, try and see whether the child can resolve the situation alone. However, intervene immediately if they scratch, hit or bite another child.
If your child has handled the situation well, you should praise them and show them that you appreciate their behaviour. – dpa
