As elders, we are cognisant of even the most ordinary pleasures. Over time, we cultivate a sense of gratitude, and gratefulness leads to happiness. - Pexels
Sometimes the anxiety of growing old plagues the mind, like we don’t fit into our own skin. It is as though there is only diminishment of life’s flourish in later life.
I know it’s hard, but growing older can be an amazing opportunity to expand ourselves. And so I thought: Why not make ageing aspirational – one that Gen Z and millennials can look forward to?
Older people are more sure of themselves and they know which aspects of life are worth seeking. We learn the word “victory” long before we are aware of the snarling march of time, and its detritus.
And let’s get this straight: I harbour little illusion about the small and large betrayals of the body, but letting go of myself would concede defeat.
After more than sixty years of preening, I recognise the physical attritions of ageing – from the obvious to the subtle, with bracing realism.
But here’s the thing: The spirit of older women is irrepressible.
Perhaps there is some inexplicable part of us that never gives up, never say die, and never take ageing lying down. And so we continue to shape our eyebrows, will those tummy rolls to firm up, slather on moisturisers, wear sunblock, drag our decades-old bodies to exercise, and keep a red lipstick in our handbag.
And there’s this too: The desire to look good is ageless.
But rather than aiming for cookie-cutter perfection, wearing clothes that reflects your personality and ease, celebrates a woman’s mature shape with grace, and gives senior fantasy a fillip.
The best part of being in my sixties is that I know myself. I dress what I feel confident in, and embrace a style that captures the charisma and charm of the modern older woman. Age gives me a vast vantage point to eschew mistakes and to enhance assets.
To be vainworthy is the waft and weave of the true woman’s psyche. We do not foolishly try to fight gravity but will take on some chutzpah, a gamine haircut, and a sense of curiosity to moor us through the turbulent terrain of ageing.
With the exuberance of confidence borne out of living the years, my wings refused to be clipped by disappointment or discouragement. If anything, I feel gladiatorial, shimmery, and undefeated - that’s what age does to you.
In our senior struggles, some vanity can get lost. But they shouldn’t.
Some vanity is needed to hold us up, keep the love for living strong, and stave off the blight of aimless drift. The temptation to let go, and let be, on gloomy days may seem the modest thing to do, for lack of a good reason to spruce ourselves up.
Solid friendships
Therein lies the importance of having a coterie of bosom friends who are as gutsy to go against the grind as they are gung-ho about living life to the hilt. They are women warriors who bravely hold the fort of sisterhood, and reinforce your determination to age with wanderlust in tow, when your will to liven up shows signs of wilting.
They are friends of the faltering, allies of allure, and loyal comrades in self-care. Invest in such friends and your path to ageing valiantly and vibrantly will be bathed in light, your armour of worthiness gleam in glorious sheen. That’s so inspiring, right?
The worship of youth has been overrated, misleading, and showing a blatant bias for dewy skin, bright eyes, thick tresses and taut muscles. The confidence of seniors outshines the strength of youth. Indeed the unexpected pleasures of growing older are stir-crazy.
An old friend found love at 70, and shared that love at seventy is as dizzying as falling in love at seventeen. Love that comes late in life can be as indulgently romantic as teenage love. It is time to put paid to the stultifying stereotypes about ageing which restrain the human spirit. Have you been shaken awake?
People in their forties and fifties may wonder what goes on in the minds of those in their sixties and beyond? How do people age well, with their passion for living and vital faculties intact? How do they survive old age – even thrive in later life?
Confidence gained through layers of living is of more value, and edifying than assurance fleetingly claimed in youth. Each time we discard comparison with others, we gain strength and conviction to jettison negative self-evaluations that tend to weigh down our spirits. Having become more self-aware, we become more equipped to handle relationships, and understand better the nuances encrypted in conversations.
As elders, we are cognisant of even the most ordinary pleasures. Over time, we cultivate a sense of gratitude, and gratefulness leads to happiness.
And as our ego deflates, our well-being expands. It’s very liberating to realise our ordinariness, set aside our pride, and start to appreciate life’s small joys.
To live with abandon, to find each day downright delightful, and to enjoy the moments so much as to leave joy and loudness in its wake – now that’s an art of living I would like to emulate.
The spirit always wins
Having whizzed past my 68th birthday, my thoughts swirl with ideas on how to move forward from this stage of life.
Sixty-eight, I have decided, is not too late for laughing at bawdy jokes, gallivanting around the village with my hubby on a motorbike, retaining an impish sense of fun, being a blessing to others, and feeling a little optimism. What accident of good fortune allows this old heart to relish such moments of sustainable joy?
As we age, our facades slowly crack open to reveal our inner realities, and we discover that we can just let go of all pretenses, and just be ourselves.
To be able to pour out our pain and pitfalls like this, you need to be past sixty when we are ready to loosen up, and cease striving. Anxiety loses its hold on us and we find ourselves discarding all the hand-wringing and putting ourselves down.
So life gets better with age – except, of course, the physical decline. But physical limitation serves to jolt us into prizing what we can still do, and to feel the flush of achievement at doing what we still enjoy.
What if you could still shuffle along to travel and see glorious sights together with the strong and sturdy? And what if you could just trudge up a flight of steps - the others run up – and reach the upper level of a bookstore to savour the glory of books?
That should be enough, I reckon – the spirit always wins.
