Domestic violence not only affects the victim but has a ripple effect on families, communities, and society at large. Photo: Freepik
Left unchecked, domestic violence often escalates, leading to severe physical harm and even death.
Disturbingly, the perpetrators are often individuals whom the victims know and trust. This intensifies the trauma and sense of betrayal felt by the victims and those closest to them.
Louise, who wishes to remain anonymous, shares her personal heartbreaking experience: “My sister was killed by her husband several years ago,” she says.
“Initially, her husband claimed she had suffered a stroke and had fallen in the bathroom. However, upon examination, doctors discovered bruises and signs of previous injuries on other parts of her body, which did not align with the husband’s story,” she adds.
“Further investigation revealed that she had been beaten following an argument, and those injuries ultimately led to her death.”
The news devastated Louise and her family. “They seemed like a happy couple. Our parents were in shock – my mum fainted, and my dad’s high blood pressure worsened. We were all extremely distraught,” she recalls.
Louise says that her sister’s marriage began as a whirlwind romance, with no visible signs of abuse. “We only saw them during family events, and her husband was always polite and classy,” she says, noting that this outward behaviour may be used to conceal the abuse taking place in private.
Following her sister’s death, her husband was taken into custody and is now under investigation for murder under Section 302 of the Penal Code.
Louise’s story is not unique, and it underscores the painful reality of domestic violence and how difficult it can be for family members to detect or prevent it when the abuse happens behind closed doors.
Domestic violence often include physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, social and financial abuse, often in combination. Photo: Freepik
Understanding the issue
Every year, UN Women, the United Nations entity dedicated to gender equality and the empowerment of women, holds its 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence campaign, a key international movement to call for an end to violence against women and girls (VAWG).
It runs from Nov 25, which is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women until Dec 10, which is Human Rights Day.
And understanding domestic violence is pivotal in helping end VAWG.
According to Women’s Aid Organisation (WAO), domestic violence is “a pattern of violence, abuse or intimidation aimed at controlling a partner in an intimate relationship.”
This includes physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, social and financial abuse, often in combination.
WAO highlights that domestic violence typically follows a cycle. The perpetrator threatens violence and commits abuse, and then apologises and promises change (which is also known as the “honeymoon phase”). This cycle repeats and it traps victims in a continuous loop of abuse.
Recent media reports illustrate the prevalence of domestic abuse in Malaysia:
> In January 2024, a housewife who sold homemade kuih died after being violently slapped by her unemployed husband in Padawan, Sarawak.
> In February, a woman was set on fire by her husband in Keningau, Sabah, and later died from her injuries.
> In April, a man attempted to shoot his wife – who had previously reported him for criminal intimidation – at the Kuala Lumpur International Airport.
> In June, an unemployed man stabbed his wife at a hotel in Ipoh, Perak, because she wanted a divorce.
> In August, a man was arrested for murdering his wife and daughter in Pekan Simpang Kuala, Alor Setar.
> In November, a man was charged with two counts of murder for fatally stabbing a father and his daughter at their apartment in Penang. Police investigation revealed that the suspect had feelings for the woman, but she did not reciprocate.
These examples highlight the tragic consequences of domestic violence, which often escalates into severe physical harm, or worse, death.
Devastating impact
Jayamalar explains that several challenges make it difficult for victims to escape abusive relationships, including financial dependency, self-blame and lack of support. Photo: The Star/Ming TeohDomestic violence not only affects the victims; it has ripple effects on families, communities and society at large.
According to World Health Organisation (WHO), about one in three (30%) women worldwide have been subjected to physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence. And almost one-third (27%) of women aged 15-49 years who have been in a relationship have been subjected to physical and/or sexual violence by their intimate partner.
In Malaysia, statistics from the Royal Malaysian Police (PDRM) show that 22,908 domestic violence cases were recorded nationwide from 2020 to August 2023.
All Women’s Action Society (AWAM) capacity building director, Jayamalar Samuel explains that domestic violence can have devastating effects on family members, especially children.
“These young ones who witness domestic abuse often suffer trauma. They may struggle with trust, have nightmares or face difficulties forming relationships,” she says.
“Research also shows that boys who observe their fathers being violent are more likely to become abusers themselves, while girls raised in violent households may enter abusive relationships in adulthood.”
Rachel says it’s vital to create awareness on the laws that protect victims of domestic violence.The legal perspective on domestic abuse also reveals its roots in societal structures. Lawyer Rachel Suppiah describes femicide, or the gender-based killing of women, as a result of patriarchal norms.
“In many societies across the world, women are still viewed as property rather than equals. This mindset can fuel prolonged violence that eventually escalates to murder,” she explains.
Rachel believes that increased awareness of laws such as the Domestic Violence Act is crucial in protecting potential victims. She adds that for unmarried couples, other laws such as Section 352 of the Penal Code on assault can apply to protect survivors of intimate partner violence.
Challenges encountered
Jayamalar says that several challenges make it difficult for victims to escape abusive relationships, including financial dependency, self-blame and lack of support.
“When a woman is financially dependent on her spouse, she has fewer options. Without an income to support herself and her children, she may feel trapped in the relationship,” she says.
“Additionally, some women blame themselves, believing they can stop the violence by changing their behaviour. This misperception often leads them to remain in harmful situations, not realising that the abuse stems from the perpetrator’s issues, such as anger management problems.”
Lack of support also hinders victims from seeking help. Domestic violence resources are primarily concentrated in urban areas, leaving women in rural regions with limited access to assistance.
Myths about domestic abuse, such as “It’s just a family issue” or “If it was really that bad, she would have left,” further complicate the situation, as these discourage both victims and those around them from addressing the abuse.
Addressing domestic violence and femicide, therefore, requires a comprehensive, society-wide approach.
Jayamalar emphasises the importance of creating continuous awareness among the public.
“Leaders, including politicians, community figures and religious leaders, play a crucial role in advocating against gender-based violence. Men too, have a responsibility to serve as allies, speaking up against domestic abuse,” she says.
“Educating children about equality and respect from a young age is also essential. Teaching boys and girls to view each other as equals and helping them develop emotional intelligence can create a foundation for healthy relationships. Schools can bolster this support by training teachers and counsellors to recognise signs of domestic violence in students’ homes,” she adds.
“Training and capacity building for professionals who assist domestic violence survivors is equally important. Frontline responders, such as police officers and healthcare workers, must be equipped to handle cases sensitively and effectively. Medical personnel, for example, need to recognise signs of abuse and provide appropriate help for victims,” says Jayamalar.
The importance of support system
Family members of domestic violence survivors also have a significant role to play in supporting victims.
Tan says society should support victims of domestic abuse. Photo: Sarawak Women for Women SocietyKim Tan, vice-president of the Sarawak Women for Women Society (SWWS), advises family members to believe survivors and offer loving, non-judgemental support.
“Safety comes first. Provide a safe space for survivors to share their experiences and remove judgement,” she says, noting that survivors often feel isolated and need reassurance that they deserve healthy, respectful relationships.
Tan also encourages family members to stay informed about available services in their area that could assist women and children in crisis.
“Knowledge is power. Knowing about local resources can help victims when they’re ready to seek assistance,” she says.
Additionally, encouraging survivors to practise self-care can help them cope with trauma.
“People who experience abuse may feel unworthy of love or care. Self-care helps them reclaim their sense of self and handle stressful situations,” Tan explains.
A practical way to support survivors is to develop a safety plan together. This includes strategies for de-escalating violence, identifying safe spaces and knowing who to contact in emergencies.
Working with local NGOs can provide further guidance for creating a comprehensive plan that addresses each survivor’s unique needs, she says.
Domestic violence and femicide are complex issues rooted in societal attitudes and structures. And breaking the cycle of abuse requires a collective effort involving individuals, families, communities and institutions.
Awareness, education and support systems are vital in preventing and addressing domestic violence. Laws like the Domestic Violence Act provide a framework for protecting survivors, but societal change is necessary to shift attitudes and challenge gender-based violence at its core, Tan adds.
Ultimately, society must support victims, educate future generations and dismantle harmful norms that perpetuate domestic violence. Only by doing so can we work towards a safer future, free from the threat of intimate partner violence, she concludes.
