For young people, toxic relationships can have long-lasting effects, shaping their ability to trust and form healthy bonds in the future. Photo: Freepik
University student Eryna, 23, who wishes to remain anonymous, describes her two-year relationship with her ex-boyfriend as a “wrecking ball” to her mental health.
“I was often questioned about my choices and isolated from my friends,” she shares. “There was a subtle controlling vibe, and over time, I started shrinking myself to keep the peace. It was a major red flag, but I didn’t realise it then.”
Her ex’s manipulation and gaslighting made her doubt herself constantly. “I felt like I was overreacting all the time. I ended up walking on eggshells, apologising excessively, and feeling drained,” Eryna recalls.
The toxic dynamic took a toll on her emotional well-being.
“I felt anxious and depressed. My confidence plummetted. I started overthinking everything and isolating myself from others,” she says. Her studies also suffered as she became emotionally exhausted and distracted.
Ultimately, Eryna decided to end the relationship. “Cutting ties with someone you’ve been close to for years feels like tearing out a piece of yourself,” she admits.
Initially, she tried distractions, throwing herself into assignments, binge-watching TV shows and scrolling TikTok endlessly. Journalling and self-help books also offered her limited solace.
Being in a toxic relationship takes a profound toll on a person’s mental and physical health. Photo: FreepikBeing in a toxic relationship takes a profound toll on a person’s mental and physical health, says mental health consultant Dr Desmond Cheah.
He notes that clients often experience chronic stress, low self-worth and even physical issues like fatigue and sleep disorders.
“For young people, these toxic relationships can have long-lasting effects, shaping their ability to trust and form healthy bonds in the future.”
To protect themselves from getting into toxic relationships, Cheah recommends building self-awareness and recognising unhealthy patterns early.
Key strategies include: knowing your needs (understand your values and boundaries); trusting your intuition (listen to feelings of discomfort); setting boundaries (clearly communicate and enforce limits); seeking support (reach out to trusted friends, family or mental health professionals) and educating yourself (learn about the signs of toxicity to intervene early).
It wasn’t until a friend suggested therapy that Eryna found meaningful progress. “Therapy helped me understand why I stayed in the toxic relationship for so long and how to break out of the cycle for good,” she says.
Now, she stresses the importance of reaching out for support. “There’s nothing wrong with seeking help, including professional help. Sometimes, we think we have to handle everything alone, but leaning on others shows strength, not weakness. Therapy is not just for big problems. It helps you understand yourself better and learn to thrive.”
She also advises Gen Zs like herself to not dismiss the wisdom of their parents.
“They’ve lived through their struggles and want the best for us. If not family, confide in a trusted teacher, mentor or friend. Talking helps you see things more clearly and makes you feel less alone.”
Her friends, she said, played a crucial role. “They didn’t judge me or say ‘I told you so’. Instead, they listened, provided needed distractions and supported me through late-night drives, bubble tea runs and nostalgic TV marathons.”
Looking back, Eryna realises she ignored many red flags.
“I thought I could fix things, but I should have trusted my instincts and set boundaries earlier. If I could go back, I’d prioritise my well-being and leave at the first sign of disrespect.”
“You might also want to seek legal protection or engage professional help, because therapists can guide you through emotional and logistical challenges,” he says.
“Recovery from a toxic relationship involves rebuilding self-worth, creating healthy boundaries and learning to trust again. Therapy and self-reflection are crucial in breaking the cycle and forming positive, supportive relationships,” he says.
Cheah adds: “Recognising toxicity is not failure – it’s the first step to reclaim your well-being.”
When you can’t live with them, but you also can’t live without them, it becomes toxic. Photo: FreepikEryna took several steps to heal, starting with clearing her social media. “I muted my ex and unfollowed anything triggering. Instead, I followed accounts about growth, empowerment and healing. It may seem small, but these steps added up and made a difference.”
Rediscovering forgotten hobbies like painting became therapeutic. She also took up yoga, which she describes as a game-changer for both physical and mental health.
Music also played a significant role. “I created a ‘healing playlist’ of empowering tracks that reminded me of my worth,” she shares.
For those struggling in toxic relationships, Eryna says they should realise it’s not their fault. “Toxic relationships can happen to anyone, but no one deserves to feel small, controlled or unworthy. Trust your guts – if something feels off, it probably is.”
“Rebuild your sense of self. Take up hobbies, pursue your goals and reclaim your voice. Toxic relationships can make you forget who you are, but you’re more than someone’s partner.”
“Finally, don’t rush the healing process. Give yourself space and time. You’re not defined by the relationship but by how you rise above it.”
“Prioritising myself was the ultimate reset I needed, and I have no regrets,” she concludes.
