Support and sacrifices of sports parents

From driving them to training sessions, cheering them on at competitions to boosting their spirits when the going gets tough, parents of up-and-coming sports talent expend much time, energy and money to support their children’s sporting career.

Some of these parents not only inspire or encourage their children to excel in sports, they personally take on the task of coaching and training their potential sports stars.

Globally, Tiger Woods, 35, had his late father and mentor Earl to thank for his strength and mental prowess on the golf course. The 14-time major champion and former world No.1 credited his dad – who passed away in 2006, aged 74, after a long battle with prostate cancer – with helping him develop the drive to succeed.

The star, who suffered a fall from grace and form following his well-documented infidelities and subsequent divorce last year, has said that his dad’s role, as well as his mother’s, was that of support and guidance, and not interference.

Then there are the famous Williams sisters of tennis – Venus, 31, and Serena, 30 – who have been managed and coached by dad Richard from the start of their careers in the 1990s.

Both sisters turned professional when they were 14 and went on to chalk up a slew of Grand Slam singles titles – Venus, seven, and Serena, 13. In addition, they partnered each other to snag a dozen Gland Slam doubles trophies.

Richard, 69, is known to practise unconventional training techniques and to have emphasised to his daughters that God is first, family second, education third, business fourth, and then only tennis.

Closer to home, our own waterskiing darling Aaliyah Yoong, who, at eight, made history last month as the youngest ever SEA Games gold medallist, was mentored by her father Hanifah.

The 63-year-old water-skiing coach and operations director is also instrumental in producing winners in Aaliyah’s half-brother Alex Yoong, 35, also a former F1 driver, and half-sister Philippa, 33.

The siblings clinched a total of eight medals, including four golds, in water-skiing events at the recent Games in Indonesia. Hanifah has also repeatedly said that the family won’t intensify efforts to push the precocious Aaliyah to success. She will instead be guided to develop and grow at her own pace.

What is it like being in the shoes of such parents? Are they fiercely pushy or coolly relaxed in their raising of their sporting kids? How involved are they – personally, emotionally, financially – in nurturing the talented lot?

We find out from a couple of established stars and their aspiring young counterparts.


With daddy in the bowling alley

Having your father as your coach can be daunting, especially if he is also the national coach.

However, Esther Cheah would probably not be a two-time world bowling champion if not for dad Holloway, a former national bowler and 1978 Asian Games champion.

Esther first caught media attention when she became the youngest to bag the gold medal in the Women’s World Championships in Aalborg, Denmark, at the age of 19 in 2005. She was the first Malaysian female bowler to become world champion.

In 2006, she won the female Olympian of the Year after her outing at the 2006 Asian Games in Doha, Qatar, where she won two golds and two silvers. In the 2007 SEA Games in Korat, Thailand, Esther earned three gold medals.

The 25-year-old, who missed the recent SEA Games due to a foot injury sustained after falling from the team bus, used to, as a young child, follow her dad to the bowling centre in Petaling Jaya, Selangor, where he worked as a coach and manager.

She started learning the fundamentals when she was seven, and eventually made it to the national team when she was in Form Four. Holloway remembers consciously trying not to rush his daughter into competitions.

“Other coaches had earlier proposed to put her into the national youth team but I said no. I wanted to develop her basic skills first. In bowling, that’s very important,” says Cheah, 69, when met at the Megalanes Endah Parade bowling centre in Sri Petaling, Kuala Lumpur.

Hence, Esther only took part in major competitions when she was 16, becoming world champion three years later.

“God gave her the talent, but she also trained very hard and did not neglect her studies at the same time,” adds Holloway with pride. (Esther has a psychology degree from the Nebraska-Lincoln University in the United States.)

Is it tough having this close family connection in the team?

“I draw the line very clearly. Inside the bowling alley, she is just one of my bowlers and there is no issue of favouritism,” asserts the man who currently has 11 female and six male national bowlers under his charge.

Holloway says that, in fact, in the earlier years, he expected Esther to train harder than her peers and produce better results.

“Since I am her coach and father, I had higher expectations of her and I put a lot of unnecessary pressure on her. Many kids quit the sport due to too much pressure,” he admits.

Esther reveals that quitting did indeed cross her mind twice, and she would have done so if not for her mum’s encouragement.

“Her mother is the main force behind her career and should be the one credited for her success. I only provided the technical aspects,” says Cheah of his homemaker wife, Joy. How then is it like for Esther to have her father as coach and national coach?

“The best part is he knows my game, as he has been training me from the start. We also communicate better since I know him so well. However, as they say, familiarity breeds contempt and we do butt heads over the technical aspects of the game,” says the bowler who has three older brothers aged between 26 and 38.

“When I was younger, Dad was very strict with me. And when I got scolded, I would feel like quitting. Mum, who’s my emotional and spiritual support, acted as the mediator between us.”

While urging parents to be involved in their child’s sporting life, Holloway advises them to offer their support but not put undue pressure on the kid, and to leave the training aspects to the coach.

“The National Sports Council provides masseurs, physiotherapists and psychologists now.

“During my time, there was no such support.

“Therefore, all parents need to do these days is to assist in time management, give emotional support, and help neutralise their pressure,” he says.


Double the effort

With two fledgling sports stars in the family, Amy Wong had her hands full with juggling her kids’ gruelling schedules.

The lady is mother to Olympian swimmer Daniel Bego and triathlete and former national swimmer Kimbeley Yap.

“When they were younger, my daily routine started with breakfast at 4.30am, pool training at 5am, a quick shower using bottles of mineral water at 6.30am, followed by a second breakfast in the car, and then off to school by 7.30am,” shares the 61-year-old who has four other children, two of whom were state athletes in their native Sarawak.

“Their schools were co-operative and with the help of home tuition and their siblings, they managed to balance studies with sports,” adds Wong, who used to run cross-country races while her husband Henry Bego, 60, was a state footballer.

Later on, when Daniel joined the elite squad and trained at Bukit Jalil, Kuala Lumpur, and Kimbeley enrolled at a private school in Cheras, KL, life for Wong got even more hectic. Her day typically ended way past midnight as she’d reach home at 11pm and do housework later.

“I had a ‘room’ organised in my little van with proper bedding, foodstuff and newspapers. I even brought along the kids’ puppy because they missed their pet,” says the former staff nurse who dutifully went to all their competitions.

With Henry, an offshore dive technician who was only home four months in a year, Wong almost single-handedly took charge of the children’s affairs.