Positive events such as memorable encounters with people can balance out negative ones, so you have the power to decide how you view things. — Photos: Pexels
Memories that cling to us from previous experiences are typically what end up in our thoughts and hearts.
We also tend to remember the pleasant people we had noteworthy interactions with.
This suggests that we can actually prevent unpleasant thoughts from occurring to us.
Regretfully, we sometimes have little influence over such thoughts.
It is much more horrifying when we unknowingly allow painful situations to haunt us.
This situation is widespread and hasn’t been fully acknowledged because each person’s experience is unique.
Can we continue to live and operate normally in our daily lives despite these thoughts, feelings and behaviours?
That’s the indicator that will help measure the impact it leaves on our mental health.
Negative encounters
Most of us are unaware that our lives are being impacted by traumatic experiences.
The word “trauma” gives the idea that it is associated with severe and unbearable circumstances.
Psychological trauma is much more impactful than physical trauma.
It minimises how important it is to encourage or stop us from acting in certain ways when we are experiencing uncomfortable emotions like grief, guilt and rage. Or, we distance ourselves from others.
These are merely a few typical feelings that people experience after going through stressful events or periods in their lives.
These experiences could be anything from being sexually molested to being chased by a neighbour’s dog, to tragic accidents and death of a loved one.
Individuals are affected by these encounters according to how “intense” they are.
A traumatic experience can lead to suppressed emotions and when triggered, the affected individual can erupt like a volcano and hurt the things or people that made him feel bad.
For example, someone may decide to avoid dogs completely as a result of their dog-chasing experience.
Some may even dream of “being chased” as the mind frequently relives the traumatic event.
Our mental well-being may be at risk if we constantly live with such distressing situations.
A lot of times, people have a stigma towards mental health conditions although it is talked about much more after the Covid-19 pandemic.
In contrast to physical health, mental health issues are not as well accepted.
It may be more common and accepted to have diabetes, heart disease or chronic pain, despite the risks to oneself.
Hence, it appears bizarre when you are given a diagnosis of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) – you just can’t accept it.
There are a number of psychological conditions that usually correlate with traumatic experiences like distorted thoughts, emotional disturbances and interpersonal relationship issues.
Trauma can result in ingrained negative ideas about oneself, other people, and the outside world, which then can lead to cognitive distortions and skewed thought patterns.
Their prejudices could be demonstrated by their harsh remarks, which could include condemning pet owners, calling men devils, asserting that no one can be trusted in this world, and many other things.
As a result of their sensitive and hurtful attitude towards particular phenomena, the affected people become bias in their conversations and values.
Bottled-up feelings
People who have experienced trauma may develop emotional instability as a result, and are unable to regulate their emotions, often displaying intense sadness, fear or hostility.
In reaction to tragedy, some people may isolate themselves from their emotions as a defensive strategy, which leads to emotional numbness.
Although the apathy may come out as insensitive or uncaring, it could actually be similar to an inactive volcano.
When the trigger is pulled, feelings may come bursting out of nowhere.
Acting on their emotion, these affected individuals would hurt the things that made them feel bad.
We’ve often read or heard stories about people setting fire to animals, putting animals into the washing machine or microwave oven, etc.
Since humans are social beings, it is true that traumatic experiences can have an adverse impact on how we connect with other people.
A common issue that stops people from establishing and maintaining healthy relationships is a lack of trust.
After experiencing sexual harassment, a person could grow suspicious of those who are not their own gender.
An adult’s ability to form secure and stable relationships later in life may be hampered by attachment styles that are influenced by early childhood trauma, such as abuse or neglect.
People may then withdraw from relationships as a result, which could lead to loneliness and isolation.
If you have a fear of dogs, then perhaps confront it by gently touching a soft toy dog first, to gauge your reaction. — Filepic
Awareness, acceptance and non-reaction
It’s helpful to be aware of appropriate coping mechanisms so that you can deal with things as they arise.
To be conscious of the impact of mental illness, we must first be aware of our own mental health situation.
Recognising it facilitates the growth of self-awareness.
That is just a requirement for any type of treatment or psychotherapy.
Certain psychological states, such as acceptance and non-reaction, must accompany awareness.
When we are conscious of our situation but do not act upon it, it is referred to as non-reacting.
Another trait that allows us to put up with what we’ve gone through is acceptance.
These characteristics may seem easy to understand but they actually create a strong condition that enables one to be self-aware and resilient to a wide range of physical and psychological impacts stemming from traumatic experiences.
To put it another way, we are able to identify triggers without acting upon them when we are set off by specific individuals, places, or things that happen at random in our everyday lives.
This gives us greater room to handle things carefully rather than escalating the issue when our emotions and thoughts become so overwhelming that they cause harm to both ourselves and other people.
In the meantime, we must acquire strategies that allow us to address the situation individually.
We must face up to the feelings of dread, grief and hatred by exposing ourselves to the same kinds of situations that set them off.
For example, to reduce or overcome the fear of dogs as a result of a traumatic event, watch documentaries about dogs saving lives, pet or cuddle up with a soft toy dog, go to a pet store, etc.
Using this strategy, you can face your feelings of guilt, rage, fear, etc.
Positive events can balance out negative ones for those who have the ability to handle them.
Feeling guilty should always be met with gratitude, fear should be met with courage, anger should be met with loving kindness, and so on.
There is no one size fits all solution; rather, it is dependent upon personal adaptability and comfort.
Certain personalities like slow-handling with definite impact, while others enjoy effects with challenges.
Ultimately, we should think of a traumatic event as just another distinct life experience that has the potential to be a source of resilience.
You have the power to choose whether to make your experiences in life fantastic or terrible.
However, you must never allow them to rule you to the point where you are unable to have a meaningful life or even be given the opportunity to live fully.
Associate Professor Dr Ooi Boon Keat is a senior lecturer and research coordinator at the School of Education and Social Sciences, Management and Science University. For more information, email starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only, and should not be considered as medical advice. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this article. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.
