Accepting the scars from self-harm is part of the healing process for these sufferers. — dpa
Melanie Weymer didn’t want to show her bare arms in public for a long time, even on hot days.
No matter what the weather, she wore long sleeves to cover up her scars.
This was the first summer in years that she went to work wearing a T-shirt and short-sleeved tops when she was off.
It didn’t surprise her that people looked at her and the many scars on her arms.
“I would just be grateful if they would ask me what happened,” she says.
Weymer, 31, made the scars with a razor blade.
Some are deep, some less so.
A native of the German city of Nuremberg, she has borderline personality disorder, an illness which gives sufferers severe emotional and mood swings.
Many self-harm as a way to relieve their tension.
“I couldn’t help it,” says Weymer, looking back at the worse times.
But she always felt annoyed with herself afterwards and blamed herself.
Reinforcing their negative thoughts
Non-suicidal self-injurious behaviour (NSSI) is the name medics give to people who intentionally hurt themselves.
Some might only do it once, while others do so repeatedly.
It is not always caused by borderline personality disorder.
“Self-harm is primarily an expression of intense emotional suffering or pressure – and of course this can arise in the context of almost any mental illness,” says Professor Dr Michael Kaess, director of the University Clinic for Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and Psychotherapy in Bern, Switzerland.
It can also occur in the case of depression or schizophrenia, he says.
Mostly, this affects the young, he adds.
Some 18% of children have already experienced self-harm, he found out after working on a study involving around 9,500 schoolchildren in Germany.
The problem has worsened since the Covid-19 pandemic, says Prof Kaess.
“One possible driver is social media,” he says.
People who click more often on content about topics such as sadness or crisis, are then offered more and more similar material, and then also end up with content that deals with self-harm and suicide.
A perverse competition
Weymer also saw how easy it is to get caught up in a whirlwind of negative emotions online.
Sometimes, people boast about being in hospital again or how deep their injuries are, and that means they get attention, she says.
“Then, a kind of competition arises – like a challenge.”
Many of the patients who go to psychotherapist Sascha Zuleger, at the Nuremberg Clinic in Germany, have made similar observations online and he worries this could lead people to imitate what they see.
“Nowadays, the idea of self-harm is no longer as far-fetched as it may have been 20 years ago.
“There are blogs, websites and forums on the subject, and films are made about it, and people talk, sing and write about it.”
But the web can also help, he says.
People can find support faster, letting them know they are not alone.
“Some people actually do think that – and when they come to our unit, they are surprised at how many people have the same problem.”
Weymer felt the same way before she went for therapy.
“Contact with fellow patients was very important to me.
“Otherwise, I was always the weird one.
“Now, there was finally someone who felt the same way.”
It took her a long time to reach that point, she says.
She kept the problem a secret for years.
That changed when two friends wound up taking her to the emergency room.
She realised that she couldn’t go on like this, she says.
Accepting the scars
Many sufferers do not seek help out of shame or for other reasons, according to the study by Prof Kaess.
Of those with mental health issues, only a quarter seek professional help, he says.
That worries him and other specialists.
“We know that self-harming adolescents often also have suicidal thoughts, and then at some point in the process have an increased risk of attempting suicide,” he says.
An online programme designed to offer adolescents and young adults quick and flexible help was created by specialists at the German universities and university hospitals in Heidelberg, Karlsruhe, Landau/Koblenz, Mannheim, Neuruppin and Ulm.
They involved 700 sufferers, and the researchers are now working out whether the programme has helped them or not.
Their data could be available at the beginning of 2025, says Prof Kaess, who is coordinating the project.
Weymer hasn’t cut herself with razor blades or burned her hands for almost a year.
She has learned better ways of dealing with her feelings, she says.
She plays with her cats, does yoga and reads a lot to distract herself.
“It will never go away completely,” she says.
That’s why she no longer wants to hide the scars on her arms.
“They are part of me,” she says.
Accepting that is also part of the healing process. – By Irena Güttel/dpa
