Some parents may be tempted to act like a friend to their adolescent children, but this approach will likely undermine their parental authority when it is needed. — Positive Parenting
As children transition into their challenging teenage years, parenting strategies must adapt to meet their evolving needs.
One common problem parents face is whether or not to adopt a friendlier approach, blurring the lines between parent and friend.
While building a close relationship with your teen is essential, it is just as important to establish boundaries to ensure their well-being and development.
Research indicates that teens thrive when their parents strike a balance between affection and age-appropriate limits.
The challenge is for parents to maintain a personal connection with their child, while still upholding the responsibility that comes with being an adult.
Remember, you don’t have to treat your child as an equal to show you care.
Your role as a parent, rather, should include guidance and authority.
Children feel secure when there is a clear authoritative figure in their family.
However, this does not mean micromanaging by constantly interfering with your teen’s decision-making processes, as this can be detrimental to their emerging independence.
Setting boundaries does not mean you are not a caring parent.
It just helps your child know that it is okay for them to become more independent as they grow up, giving them room to explore on their own.
Furthermore, if you become too “friendly” with your child, the boundaries blur and your ability to set essential rules diminishes.
Parents often have to impose rules that teens might not enjoy or may rebel against.
However, setting limits (e.g. curfew, screen time, appropriate attire, type of social activities) is important for your child’s well-being and safety.
It helps them learn what is safe and appropriate, and what is not.
Becoming your child’s BFF (best friend forever) can have unintended consequences.
Children, unprepared for the complexities of the adult world, may feel too much pressure trying to navigate issues beyond their emotional maturity.
It’s vital to avoid burdening them with adult concerns, such as disagreements with your spouse or financial issues, as this can lead to anxiety and disrupt their natural development.
By avoiding excessive sharing of adult problems, you allow your child the space to enjoy their teenage years without the premature responsibilities of adulthood.
This approach frees up time for shared activities, creating opportunities to relax, have fun and understand your child’s needs and emotions.
Not only does this build up your teen’s emotional well-being, but it also nurtures a healthy relationship where both guidance and independence coexist harmoniously.
Navigating the challenges of parenting during adolescence is an intricate balancing act, and parents need to remember that you can be caring without having to sacrifice your role as an authoritative figure.
The key is finding the right balance and knowing where to draw the line so that you create a nurturing environment where your teen can flourish.
Dr Thiyagar Nadarajaw is a consultant paediatrician and adolescent medicine specialist. This article is courtesy of the Malaysian Paediatric Association’s Positive Parenting programme in collaboration with expert partners. For further information, please email starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only, and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. Information published in this article is not intended to replace, supplant or augment a consultation with a health professional regarding the reader’s own medical care. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.
