The Alsagoff-Tek clan during Chinese New Year in 2020. Photos: Joseph Tek Choon Yee
Today, I discern the importance of Muhibbah or goodwill spirit uniting Malaysians post-GE15, drawing from a humble story of a woman – my paternal grandmother.
I am so proud of my late Grandma, Asmah Alsagoff Abdullah @ Ang-Tek. She passed away on May 26, 2017, at the ripe old age of 95.
Post-World War II, Grandma lived a life of hardship, but she triumphed over adversities. She was a proud mother, grandmother and above all, a proud Malaysian woman. She lived life to the fullest.
Today, among her sons and grandchildren, there are doctors, lecturers, engineers, entrepreneurs, corporate leaders, IT savvy Gen-Ys and others who are successful in many fields. We are part of the building blocks of our nation.
Grandma had two husbands. Her first husband was a Chinese-Christian and her second one was a Malay-Muslim. Both husbands passed away before her.
When her first husband passed away, I remember she phoned and shared with me her story of yesteryear, in Hokkien – connecting the dots in her life that involved a sweet-sour love story.
In the 1940-50s, it was hard-hitting times after the war. Life was tough, the people were poverty-stricken and lived from hand to mouth. Communicable diseases such as tuberculosis were prevalent – Grandma had to leave her children and ended up isolated in Sg Buloh TB hospital.
However, Grandma’s marriages led to a Muhibbah lineage in the Alsagoff-Tek family tree that prevails till today.
Grandma was blessed with three children from her first marriage and another five children from the second marriage.
Because of poverty, Grandma also had to give up one child from the first marriage to be adopted by a Malay family. It was a choice made after cautious consideration by a discerning mother. I was told that the aunty who was given away was delivered when Grandma was infected with malaria.
I have lost count of the number of grandchildren and great-grandchildren from both sides; I must ask my aunty Datuk Roza for the statistics.
Joseph Tek Choon Yee with his grandma.
When Grandma lived with her second husband and their family in Kepong, Kuala Lumpur, I remember how my late dad would always take the initiative to bring my brother and me alternately on his Vespa to visit her biological mother – and to mingle with her children.
In reciprocation, I can remember my Alsagoff uncles and aunty visiting my family in Petaling Jaya and taking us out for strolls.
Indeed, blood is thicker than water. Familial bonds will always be stronger than other relationships, regardless of race and religion.
Fast-forward to the present. Today, the Alsagoff-Tek families and their extended families remain closely bonded. We are so proud of our Muhibbah DNA. We have Muslims, Christians, Taoists and Buddhists among us. Our extended families include a Sabahan, a Singaporean and an Iranian. We speak Bahasa Malaysia, English, Hokkien and Cantonese.
Beside differences in religions, we have different political views – but the common DNA from Grandma binds us together. We have learned to agree to disagree, to respect one another’s views, and happily get along.
Members from the two families gather whenever there are "hatch, match and despatch" life events, as well as festivities and birthdays. There is always a free flow of exchanges, information and sound advice. We bounce ideas off one another, render family support, visit the sick, or just stay in touch.
I want to believe that Grandma’s life journey and our families constitute a small piece of a jigsaw puzzle in Malaysia's beautiful multicultural society. We are the true colours of Malaysia. The Alsagoff-Tek families are proud to be Malaysians. Muhibbah can and will flourish when people respect one another.
Unity in a multiracial community is part of our nation’s history and heritage for integration. But unity and tolerance are priceless gifts that must be embraced, safeguarded and passed on from one generation to another. As the saying goes, Melentur buluh, biarlah dari rebungnya (educate children when they are still young).
The Alsagoff-Tek clan during Chinese New Year in 2020.
I remember how, at one CNY gathering, my grandmother whispered to me, “Joseph, I am very proud of you. And when we gather together, I am even more proud to see so many of us – together and united.”
I also remember the occasion when the Austrian ambassador and his wife visited us during CNY 2020 – they were so awe-struck by what they saw: Malaysia, Truly Asian.
Unity implies oneness. But oneness does not necessarily imply sameness. We may be different but, through unity arising from my Grandma, the Alsagoff-Tek became a bigger family in building this nation.
A new beginning post-GE15 offers another opportunity for Malaysians to realise a national rebuilding and moving forward together. What we need are not ethnic heroes but ethnic bridge-builders who can foster goodwill, mutual respect, peace and harmony.
Grandma is probably smiling from heaven. The Alsagoff-Tek family will look forward to the next CNY gathering in January 2023 with our annual menu of satay, fried chicken and pizzas – and lots of ang pows and mandarins.
God bless all Malaysians.
The writer is the Chief Executive of the Malaysian Palm Oil Association (MPOA).
