If you’ve ever let your dating apps sit dormant for a few days, you may have noticed you return to unseen messages or perhaps profiles of potential matches are gone, leaving you feeling like you’ve missed out on an opportunity. Photo: TNS/ Dreamstime
Deciding to get into the dating pool can be exciting – you’re just setting out and the possibilities are endless.
But after perhaps some less-than-ideal first dates, unanswered messages, or the feeling that you’ve already read every dating profile within a 50-mile radius, those feelings can easily transform into frustration and self-doubt.
What should be a fun experience becomes a chore, leaving you unmotivated to continue reading bios and engaging in conversations with potential matches.
Dating fatigue isn’t a rare condition; it’s actually pretty normal. Just like people get burned out at work, they can become emotionally, mentally and physically drained from all the energy they’re putting into dating. Fortunately, there are a few strategies you can use to combat dating fatigue and approach the dating world with a refreshed perspective.
It’s not easy to just “pause” dating. If you’ve ever let your apps sit dormant for a few days, you may have noticed you return to unseen messages or perhaps profiles of potential matches are gone, leaving you feeling like you’ve missed out on an opportunity.
But it’s healthy to take breaks as needed, whether it’s for the weekend so you can enjoy time with friends or during a particularly busy month at work.
You’ll likely find that you come back from these mini-hiatuses refreshed and energised to dip your toe back into the dating pool.
Feel like you’ve swiped through every available profile? Think again. When you’re not getting your desired results, think of ways to expand your search.
Download a different dating app and extend your search location, or try something like speed dating in your local area.
Even joining a social event or club – adult sports leagues or trivia nights at the bar – is a great way to meet new people and introduce you to a wide range of potential partners (while having fun regardless of who you meet).
My clients often have a long list of what they’re looking for (or not looking for) in a partner. While it’s good to want the best for yourself, it’s important that those expectations are realistic ... and aren’t ruling out a potential match for no real reason.
Take an honest look at your search criteria. Are you excluding people? For example, if you don’t have any pets because you love to travel, you may be looking for a partner who also is dogless and catless. But maybe a dog owner has a relative who lives nearby and is happy to watch their pet during a vacation. You simply don’t know yet.
Don’t rule out people based on assumptions, and recognise your “wants” versus your “needs” in a partner.
Dating is time-consuming, but make sure to leave plenty of room in your schedule for the family and friends who value you, single or not.
It could be tempting to go on a date every night of the week or spend your free time scrolling through profiles. Instead, make sure you’re maintaining a healthy balance of dating life and other social events where you can forget about Bumble for a few hours.
Remember that those are the people who will be there for you after those good and not-so-good dates, so keep them around!
Rejection is hard, whether it’s a breakup years into a relationship or just an unanswered first message. But dating requires you to put yourself out there, and it’s important that you don’t take every bad experience to heart.
You never know what’s going on in someone else’s mind – maybe they are on the app for an ego boost with no intention of meeting in person (though I hope not), or maybe they have their own personal issues to sort out before diving headfirst into a romance. The only thing you can control is your own actions.
Like it or not (probably the latter), dating fatigue is a common thing. Rather than giving in (and deleting Hinge for good... again), give yourself some grace – and some breaks – and keep a positive attitude, knowing that there are often many lows that come before the high. – Tribune News Service
Erika Ettin is the founder of A Little Nudge, where she helps others navigate the often intimidating world of online dating.
