You might have many resolutions that remain unfulfilled, but perhaps they are all works in progress, and en route there are many check boxes that you've ticked as you make your way through life, one small step at a time. — 123rf
THE first few days of a new year are often associated with resolutions, which seem like a good idea at the time but then get relegated as “nice to haves” some time along the way.
I have several unfulfilled resolutions that have been pushed to the side: Sailing across the Pacific is one of them. Watching Malaysia compete in the World Cup is arguably less likely. And I’ve always talked about writing the Great Malaysian Novel (hopefully more “great” than “grates”).
It’s not all bad. I’ve had success. I once made a resolution to lose 30kg in weight, and was successful. When people I haven’t seen for a long time see the difference, their immediate question is “Are you well?”
When they learn it was deliberate, their next question is invariably, “How did you do it?” My glib answer is, “Eat less and exercise more”. But of course, their question is less “how?” and more “how on Earth?”
Because it’s one thing to make a resolution, and another to see it through. New Year resolutions are notorious for being promises made but not kept. Esteemed sources like the BBC and Forbes magazine report that “only 8% of people who have made a New Year’s resolution were able to meet their goal” and “80% of us will fail within 30 days”.
So much has been written and said about how to formulate goals and successfully achieve them – I know this because my social media and video feed is full of such content right now.
To begin with, you don’t need to wait for a new year to make a new resolution. In fact, it’s probably better that the task is imbued with some crucial meaning, like a bank account that’s rapidly running out, or a doctor telling you if you don’t lose some weight your life will be cut short. There’s no time to start like the present.
Then, one of the first things to do when trying to fulfil a resolution is to make one. More specifically, you should write down your goals.
An article by Forbes states that “a Harvard Business Study found that the 3% of graduates from their MBA who had their goals written down, ended up earning 10 times as much as the other 97% put together, just 10 years after graduation”.
While I didn’t write down on a blank piece of card “I will lose 30kg within a year”, I had come to the conclusion (or rather, was pointed to it rather sharply by my doctor) that 105kg was too much weight to fit onto my 170cm frame, and that 70kg was much more BMI-friendly.
This was the number I put into my fitness tracking app. Psychologically speaking, putting this target down in writing in the app gave me something to aim for. Rather than the hazy objective to “lose weight”, it became concrete, a benchmark to aim for.
The second thing it hopefully does is that in the process of writing it down, you are also thinking about the “What next” step. And that in turn will get you considering “What’s stopping me or slowing me down?”
This idea of visualising the ideal results along with the obstacles you might face getting there is called “mental contrasting”. Coined by professor of psychology Gabriele Oettingen in a 2001 study, the idea highlights the importance in pairing the potential of great results with the recognition of how much work and sacrifice is needed to get there.
One of the studies was an initiative to get engineers from vocational schools to improve their mathematics.
They were split into three groups: One which only focused on the positive aspects of being good at maths; another that dwelt on the negative aspects or difficulties in learning; and a third group that recognised and contrasted both approaches. Two weeks later, their teachers were asked how the students did. It may not surprise you that the group that contrasted the two sides showed more energy, put in more effort, and performed better.
I’d call it realistic wishing. It’s a valuable outlook to understand that to get the full value of something worthwhile you need to work hard for it. You expect difficulties along the way, and are mentally prepared to grapple with them.
I was fortunate that so much has already been written about people trying to lose weight. I knew that the kilos would be much easier to shed earlier on, and that you needed to persevere as you got closer to the target. That I had to stop eating sugary processed foods (I’m looking at you, root beer float), but was assured that my craving for them would gradually disappear.
I also know that most people who lose weight eventually gain some of it back, and losing it again can be harder. It took me about a year to reach 72kg, but about two years later, I was back up to 87kg. I am now in the process of heading back down again, with a better understanding of the importance of vigilance. Just weighing myself daily gives enough of a signal if I’m straying.
Despite having so many resolutions that remain unfulfilled, perhaps the reality is that these are all works in progress, and en route there are many check boxes that I have ticked.
I’ve practically travelled overland from Kuala Lumpur to London (there was a quick flight around China). I’ve watched Italy beat France live in a World Cup Final.
And I estimate I’ve written about 350,000 words for this column over the last decade and a bit, roughly the length of David Copperfield or Anna Karenina. While I might never achieve the heights of either of those tomes, I at least have a good idea of what needs to be done to head in the right direction.
In his fortnightly column, Contradictheory, mathematician-turned-scriptwriter Dzof Azmi explores the theory that logic is the antithesis of emotion but people need both to make sense of life’s vagaries and contradictions. Write to Dzof at lifestyle@thestar.com.my. The views expressed here are entirely the writer's own.
